Best Friends: "One of My" and "My Very"

Hi, guys!
Hey, I came up with an idea for an informal survey (right after talking to my mom).....

And I'm wondering, WHO do you consider to be 'one of your best' friends, and WHO is, instead, 'your very best' friend?

I sat and thought about it for half an hour. It's not that easy of a question at my age! I'll be 55 in November. I've had a series of best friends since I was a preschooler. That's 50 years of "besties." Some were human, some were canine, some feline, and some equine.

About equally distributed, I'd say. Right now, my very bestie is my mom.

I'm just curious to know (for reference purposes to get to know members better) - who is 'your BEST Bestie'? and who are your 'One-of-my-Besties';
NOT THEIR NAMES. Just in terms of their relationship to your life. (i.e. dog, neighbor, coworker)....but if it's a family member, please use the relationship designator (i.e. mom, dad, sis, cousin, ex, daughter).....

Anyone game?

I'm just curious, no biggie if no one else wants to play.
Right Now:
My very bestie: my mom
One of my besties: husband, and one girlfriend

Husband, definently.

This may seem very odd, but the other "bestie" is my friend Sarah from school. We live in two separate states and can go years between visits, but I still consider her my best friend.

I think that's the hallmark of true friendship....seeing your friend for the first time in six years and its like you've never been apart.

reply to post by smyleegrl

Yeah, it is like that!
I had one of those...best friend from high school. YEARS in between visits and always love. But then, she got involved in the 'country club crowd' (of which I've never been - nor aspired to be - a part) and lived in zip code "CUSHY".....

and when her oldest kid (who I've known since his toddlerdom) was graduating from High School - she called to ask me if I would be the "hired gypsy to entertain the kids in the basement". Not to invite me to the party....nono.....

At first I said, "okay", and then I thought about it, and was like, "HEYyy! WTH?" and called and left her a message that I wasn't available. I didn't say why, I just declined.

A couple years later was a high school reunion organized for the 'group of friends' we had in common - to which I'd not been invited or contacted. I discovered it by accident - and realized I'd been deliberately left out (we're talking about maybe 12 people - a mixed-classes core group of friends). She was the 'coordinator' of the project.

Didn't hear anything until 6-7 years later - when my brother told me she'd called looking for my number and she offered him hers to give to me."

I said, "no, I don't want to talk to her".
Sad

reply to post by wildtimes
I've had the same best friend since I was 12 years old, so that makes 34 years of best friendship. We have been through everything together, good and bad, from puberty and our first real kisses to the birth of our children, nasty divorces and happy 2nd marriages. We've cried on each other's shoulders and toasted many glasses of wine, coached each other through our past addictions, leaned on each other through births and deaths. I wouldn't trade my best friend for anything on Earth. We would bury our husbands in the backyard if they ever tried to part us, but fortunately we married extremely smart men!

reply to post by littled16


My daughter has one of those (since age 8) - they are now 24.

My kids went to school with the same 'class' from 1st grade to Senior. They'd known each other all their lives.

I never got to do that. We moved every two or three years when I was little -
I had besties, but after we'd move, well, you know.

One from 5th grade stuck it out to a reunion during high school.....we were in "Camp Fire Girls" together....'Bluebirds'....
and school class mates.....we went together to Nebraska to attend....
but then....it faded.

I don't have any sisters, either.

reply to post by wildtimes
I will send you my sister WT! Today is her birthday and she just left my house less than an hour ago. She is fun as heck and you would hit it off great. Only one catch: I get to send my 16 year old niece with her. You are two states away, right?

reply to post by wildtimes


I would say that I am pretty lucky in some respects, in that I do not have friends who require a quantification of the depth of my feeling for them. That said, I reckon my friend Kerry would probably be the closest thing to a bestie I have at the moment. When I lived on the street, she took me in, despite having a room the size of a jail cell... let me sleep on the floor between the bed and the chair, which was nice of her considering I had known her for all of twenty five seconds at the time lol.

That was back a while now. Since that auspicious day, I learned several things about being a pal. First of all, it is possible to have an entirely platonic relationship with a woman, and know that she is pregnant before she does. Second it is possible to put a person in a sleeper hold for thier own saftey. Third, it is bloody helpful to be able to rely on your closest and mostest when times get rough, and very rewarding to extend the same facility to people when you are able. Fourth, it is also possible that a really good friend will behave in ways which are entirely unhelpful to thier situation, and make you want to slap them, but being a good friend sometimes means allowing a person enough rope to hang themselves, and just cutting them down before the neck breaks and the brain starves of oxygen.

reply to post by TrueBrit

Fourth, it is also possible that a really good friend will behave in ways which are entirely unhelpful to thier situation, and make you want to slap them, but being a good friend sometimes means allowing a person enough rope to hang themselves, and just cutting them down before the neck breaks and the brain starves of oxygen.

Yup! As in, "I love you, and although I have reservations about your choice(s) here, no matter what you decide to do, I will support you. No matter how it turns out, I'll be here."

THAT is real friendship.
Thanks for your response.

reply to post by wildtimes


Anyone who will not betray me...

Thus far theres only a few...

IF there are evil's in this world, Betrayal is the worst of them all...

reply to post by Akragon

IF there are evil's in this world, Betrayal is the worst of them all...

Yeah. I agree.
Thx for responding.
I don't mean to be whining.....but, it's kind of a serious question as life goes by......

reply to post by KyrieEleison


Yeah, my ex (the father of my children, who are now in their 20s) is also on the 'one of my' list.
You spend your life intertwined with someone for 32 years, and yeah......they are important. Especially when they were your partner in child-rearing.


One of my ex-sisters-in-law was also a very good friend for several years.......I still referred to her as 'my sister.'
Unfortunately, that relationship has died as well.....

reply to post by wildtimes


It hurts when you lose touch with someone...

Whether it's because they keep doing things that push you away, or if, you know, "life happens" and close becomes distant.

It's what I was thinking about when I wrote this story, my wife read it and was completely unmoved but I was almost in tears after I finished writing it.

Maybe it was a bit too subtle.

Anyways ... great thread! and thanks to everyone who shared something.

I would have to say my husband is my very best friend. As for the "one of my best friends" part, we have a great group of friends, 7 people total. We spend nearly every weekend together, the kids play together, and so do the adults, lol. I could not ask for a better family to have around me than this group of ours!

reply to post by WatchItGlow


That sounds wonderful! Good for you and yours.....I hope it stays that way for many, many years to come!
It's great for your kids, too!!

I have been part of 'groups' of friends, too - in high school, later in college, and in organizations.
But, sadly, people drift apart, or move, or 'outgrow' the group.

So often it happens that you make a fast friend at work or school, and when one of you leaves, you promise to stay in touch - but it rarely actually happens. For me, anyway. Life is such a rush-rush thing. Plus, many of my "hobby interests" change with regular frequency, so the 'social circle' drifts around, too.

I sure hope I don't sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself - I honestly wanted to know who members see as their besties -
family vs friends, etc. THANKS for participating!


OH!! And WELCOME TO ATS!!! Your first post, just joined! Enjoy the ride!! (keep hands and feet in the car at all times, and make sure your protective gear firmly secured ) I love it when people's very first post is in one of my threads or a response to one of my posts!

reply to post by KyrieEleison


Thanks, kyrie! I hope we get more responses - it's an interesting little "social studies" project.

reply to post by wildtimes
Thanks for the welcome! I've lurked forEVER, and decided to finally jump in!

Our group is really wonderful, I love them all to death. And the beauty is that we all have the same interests, with varied differences. Hopefully it won't drift apart, but one never knows what the future holds.