posted on Apr, 28 2013 @ 09:55 PM
Dear Mr. boncho,
We here at Hershey's take quality control very seriously and are responding to your disappointing experience with one of our more popular
confectionaries in the hope to have your repeated business.
The malfunction issue that you described is quite a common one and our customer service department has issued the following statement relating to this
"Oh for sakes! Put the thing in the fridge for a few minutes before you devour it you fat, sweaty piece
of . God If I get one more of these cocamamy complaints from idiots who don't realize that milk chocolate melt's at
temperatures exceeding 93 °F, I'm going to swear: snap and take out this whole building with an assault rifle!"
"And now this guy wants a backrub from a big breasted woman from our office for it? You got to be joking, one thing the women have
around here that's big ain't their breasts I can tell you.!
Hershey's Customer Service Team
Dear Mr. boncho,
Our sincerest apologies, but the customer service representative that finalized your complaint letter has been under a lot of stress lately, and has
been suspended until he completes a thorough psychological evaluation and stress management techniques. This is not the way we here at Hershey's
conducts business or responds to our valued customers. We do hope that this coupon for a free Hershey's product of your choice will satisfy your
complaint and we hope to have you as a continued loyal customer.
Please call 1-631-403-9000 and our professional customer service representatives will assist you 24 hours a day.
As for your other request, I am afraid by PA state law, we are not allowed to have our female employees massage customers, no matter how unsatisfied
they are with our product, and yes, the previous customer service agent was correct in saying that the bulk of their weight is not in their chest. We
apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Hershey's Customer Service Team.
edit on 28-4-2013 by HauntWok because: (no reason given)