A Female Pirate, Yes, She Was!!

She was a female pirate, she was. Her spirit was as fiery as her long, red tresses. Her eyes were the color of an azure sea. She wore tight, black leggins and a ruffled white blouse that teasingly displayed some of her ample bosom. The sea mist gave her already soft skin a flattering sheen. Two beads of sweat made their way down to her cleavage. Lucky, they were.

She was a Hellion, that one. She had nothing to fear from her shipmates. She had already proven her worth and daring on many a raiding party. The mates knew full well to steer clear of her...even the ships mascot, a raucous monkey, knew enough to scamper high above the rafters on her "ladies days". She was like a rabid tiger then...she'd been known to have a man walk the plank just for passing gas when she was down wind of it! And inspite of all that, the real insult to her was her name. Her mother had seen fit for whatever reason to name her Mercy. Arghh, "Mercy"...shiver me timbers, she thought. If she could rename herself...it would be something like "Stormy" or "Gale" or the like.

Mercy was in her favorite pirate pose with one leg braced on a rail. She was scanning the horizon, when suddenly she spied a ship! Her heart started to race faster then the monkey that would run in fear from her. Aye mates, she cried..".I see a ship ahead. Man yer stations, ready the sail...there be adventure and riches ahead for us all!" One mate jumped up and nearly swallowed his "chew" while another scratched his beard with his hook and put forth a gleeful smile, revealing one golden tooth. In his minds eye, he could already see the gleaming bounty....silver and gold and gems of every kind and color. Truth be known, her mates had a fond affection for her and would follow her to the ends of the earth. Though, the earth was thought to be flat back then so it might be a short trip. She had the strength and courage and stamina of any among them.

The Captain of the other ship was a strapping young man...like a Greek God, he was. He was lean and tan and tall. His hair was dark as night and his eyes were the color of emeralds yet had a flash of fire in them. His name was Captain Peter Dick. He wore a vest of sorts, exposing his muscular chest. His men had a deep respect for him yet he could be a harsh task master.

Captain Dick was summoned from above by a mate high up on the sailing staff..the crows nest. The mate warned of a ship rapidly approaching, out of a small patch of fog that had been hounding them. Too late, the game was on. Mercy and her men were on the ship as chaos ensued. All the shipmates from both vessels became a tangle of arms and legs and gleaming swords and knives. An albatross flew over head and had a thought in his bird brain, "Stupid humans" and then moved on in search of whatever feast the sea would divulge.

Teeth flew out into the ocean, an eyeball rolled across the deck. Someones hook dislodged from its owner and a young scallie wag fell on it, arse first. He soon realized that he had been "torn a new one". Sooner than one would expect, the battle was over. "I am Mercy Shane" exclaimed the red headed she devil. "I have sailed the seven seas for a decade". I am now in charge of your men and all that I survey", she stated. Her ship mates quickly bound the captives and threw them into the dark, dank hold of the pirate ship. The skull and cross bones flag waved in the wind as if a warning to any near by to heave too and leave at once.

The swashbuckling foray had left Mercy tired but in a good way. The swarthy crew made quick work of examining the booty...a fine treasure trove of goodies indeed. The sun glimmered off the golden tooth of the most feared pirate of all....other than Mercy, of course. Grown men had been known to shrivel at the mere sound of her voice.

All and all, it had been a good day. No lives were lost. The bountiful prize from the captured ship had been beyond expectations! Now Mercy had one thing left to attend to..the mighty Captain. The vision of his white, perfect teeth, his mischievious eyes and his perfect frame floated into the minds eye of the she pirate...what to do? She entered the dungeon where the captain was shackled. Both wrists and ankles were securely bound. Their eyes met and the captain could only worry and wonder about his fate. The fates were on his side this day! "Shiver me timbers" she exclaimed as she took her most valued treasure. Captain Dick cried Mercy all he could and she gave Dick all the Mercy that she could! Argh me mates, such is the life of a female pirate!

Captain Dick. Very humourous, but do I detect the subtle tone of second-wave feminism? Perhaps I'm looking too deep. Perhaps female pirates should say xarr vs yarr, which is a really poor XY chromosome joke. Nevertheless, keep up the good work.

Smelly, very smelly...... S&F

Oh boy, seems I messed up....was in a silly mood of sorts and trying to have a lil fun....no harm intended. Sorry if it was too offensive to some. Feminism...say what? I love the male species. Been married to the same wonderful guy for 50 years. Where would us gals be without the love of a good man? Some gals wouldn't care but not me. My fella has been by my side through thick and thin. Has been there in sickness and health...I have MS. He has been a great provider and good hearted and kind and generous.

I guess I let my imagination get carried away with me today. I apologize to all I may have offended and that I may have gotten "off color" and to frisky and "dirty" in my remarks. Like I say, this ole world is such a dismal place some times, a lil fun seems in order but I guess i go too far. I'll pull back from now on...though, I could have swore i've read stories on here involving penis's and vaginas and whatever....way worse subject matter and insinuations than mine.?? Sorry. What I thought started out to be fun has me feeling truly off now. I'll fold my tent now and get lost. It is what it is. Harm and meaness was never my intention. Maybe the mods can get rid of it. Ya'll will be rid of me for sure....for however long time will tell...or not.

reply to post by shrevegal


No offense here.
My blank response was due to something I wrote to add to your humorous and descriptive story but decided it may not be in good taste for others so I erased it.

All in all it was very colorful indeed. Mostly a flowing Crimson.

Keep flying the Jolly Roger....Arrgghh.

I wish folks would read my other 2 short stories on here....Eve of destruction and the Campfire one. In those, you could possibly get a better idea of what I am all about and how i care for this planet, this world and my fellow man. I care about peace and harmony and love and all good things. I only hope and pray for good things for everyone and everything. Blessings. ^j^ Those other 2 stories should give anyone a better picture of what i am truly about. My MS gets me a lil silly and in goofey moods at times. Sorry.

reply to post by TheLieWeLive

Thank you very much for explaining. I am having a really bad day, pain and lack of sleep and was over compensating with my crazy ole mind. Hugs and Blessings to you. ^j^

My illness causes ridiculous mood swings some times. Sorry.

reply to post by shrevegal


That was awesome!! I loved it! Thanks for sharing.

You are a fun and sweet writer. I really enjoy it.
Peace, love, and hugs
-nat

Oh, don't go away. I want to read more! I truly enjoyed the read...not to mention, I've always had a thing for
Pirates. I must admit, though, that they've all been male.
I love Johnny Depp, although I'm too old for him. When the film 'Pirates of the Caribbean' came out, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

Don't be sorry - it was a great fun read, lol! Loved it!
Arrggggg!



peace

Thanx everyone for the wonderful replies. Ya'll gave me a much needed boost...I was feeling a little low and a lot embarrassed after I thought I may have gone overboard, (pun intended) Whew, feelin better today. I gotta say, I was picturing Johnny Depp as the ship captain but he does make the bestest pirate ever. Thanx again everyone.