I am caught in a conundrum.
It seems sad to me sometimes
and a joy at other times.
Being awake creates daylight nightmares.
Things I abhor are always visible,
I can no longer ignore them
by simply closing my eyes.
I sometimes envy those,
who can live in denial,
work for the weekend
and buy the next toy.
My idea of success
is no longer the same.
Getting ahead
isn’t winning the game.
Fortunately being awake
also brings beautiful daydreams.
I echo Martin’s
and dream of peace.
Life once was so simple,
work and play,
laugh and cry,
and someday die
But now that I am awake
I realize and can no longer fake.
Happiness is not salvation
from the dark sadness.
Part of me feels like I am dying too soon,
and another part wants to wake up dead.
The pursuit of pleasure has left me unfulfilled,
on the false promises that I have been fed.
The joy I now feel awake
is from the love of those I love,
and the promise of eternal life from above,
no sadness, no hunger, no pain, and no sorrow.
The light at the end of the tunnel,
the promise of heaven motivates me still
to continue to dream
and stay awake.
edit on 06/02/2011 by grayeagle because: spelling