After Night of Bar Hopping, Sausage Is Missing. Reward Is Issued.

I live in Wisconsin, America's Dairyland. The land of cheese and beer. And, The Green Bay Packers and Milwaukee Brewers.

The Brewers, just to clarify for any cricket fans, are a baseball team. During every game, there is a sausage race. Here is a fine example of entertainment that just eclipses that of the Shriners:



Well there is trouble in Paradise! After a night of bar hopping in Cedarburg, Wisconsin, Guido has gone missing. The Italian sausage was seen leaving at 7:45 pm according to the authorities. The $3,000 outfit that is. As "The Dude" would say, "This will not stand man."

According to the article, this is not Guido's first mishap. In July 2003, the Pittsburgh Pirate's Randall Simon whacked the Italian sausage with a baseball bat as it ran by the Pirates' dugout during the daily sausage race, which is staged after the 6th inning of the Brewer home games. A three game suspension and $432 fine was imposed.

There has been reward offered up: a years supply of mustard and bratwurst.

As Klement's Marketing Director stated, "This is the Wurst of Times."

If anyone has any information, please contact the appropriate authorities.

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Start the investigation with the vegans.

Man I was a little worried this was going to much more grim after reading the title. I am relieved. We must track down the culprit though. I agree, start with the vegans.

The authorities have been quiet about the investigation. Vegans, yes put them on the list. I would imagine the usual suspects: Polish, Bratwurst, and of course Hot Dog. I would check their basements first.

reply to post by roadgravel


It could be part of a conspiracy to replace Guido with a Pickle. The corporate bigwigs at Vlassic would love to break into the MLB. Good work man

Possibly a smear campaign by condiments is on the way.

Reality might suggest someone full of liquid courage and in need of attention is the culprit.

A sausage race?
That just sounds so wrong on so many levels

Originally posted by Tardacus
A sausage race?

That just sounds so wrong on so many levels

I think the Pittsburgh Pirate's Randall Simon agrees with that statement.

I've thought about Simon, but he wasn't in town.

I live not far away and have been to the Roadhouse Bar & Grill.

I don't want to speculate or implicate anybody, but I'm pretty sure my buddy did it.

Maybe the Italian sausage met a woman with nice buns at the bar.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

He's probably stuck in someones buns some where, nothing to worry about.

Probably just hidden. Happens a lot, especially after a night of drinking.

he's been kidnapped!

...put the mustard on the skin or you get the hose again...