I live in Wisconsin, America's Dairyland. The land of cheese and beer. And, The Green Bay Packers and Milwaukee Brewers.
The Brewers, just to clarify for any cricket fans, are a baseball team. During every game, there is a sausage race. Here is a fine example of
entertainment that just eclipses that of the Shriners:
Well there is trouble in Paradise! After a night of bar hopping in Cedarburg, Wisconsin, Guido has gone missing. The Italian sausage was seen
leaving at 7:45 pm according to the authorities. The $3,000 outfit that is. As "The Dude" would say, "This will not stand man."
According to the article, this is not Guido's first mishap. In July 2003, the Pittsburgh Pirate's Randall Simon whacked the Italian sausage with a
baseball bat as it ran by the Pirates' dugout during the daily sausage race, which is staged after the 6th inning of the Brewer home games. A three
game suspension and $432 fine was imposed.
There has been reward offered up: a years supply of mustard and bratwurst.
As Klement's Marketing Director stated, "This is the Wurst of Times."
If anyone has any information, please contact the appropriate authorities.
The authorities have been quiet about the investigation. Vegans, yes put them on the list. I would imagine the usual suspects: Polish, Bratwurst,
and of course Hot Dog. I would check their basements first.
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