Am I being taken?

Hello ATS:
I like to think of myself as a rational person, one who can usually discern (with ease) most situations, but something's happening to me and I can't explain it.
If people have read my previous posts I stated that I'd seen a UFO over my house, and across the street a couple of years back, this thing was huge and triangular, it had a liquid like appearance of jet-black and made no noise - it was also firing a green laser into our local park (about 600 metres from my house) and rotating on it's axis, as well as (later on) warping in and out in different locations, it looked like it was folding in on itself. This thing was RIGHT outside, I could of hit it with a stone probably and it was there for a long time.

You might be wandering what the point of me repeating that is, well bear with me.
Recently I have been having major trouble and it concerns a past memory, event that happened to me as a small child, I mean about 10 or 12 years old. This memory was, until recently, repressed in my subconsious mind, I couldn't get at it, it's taken me 12 years of scratching and focus to remember it, but now I do and it is LITERALLY scaring me to death.

I have never shared this with anyone, ever. Please don't think I'm lying or making this up because I feel crazy enough already.
I was lying in my bed as a child, and as children do I have the covers up to my eyes (I used to pretend it protected me from monsters) when suddenly the wall window (large one) flew open opposite my bed and the curtains were pulled apart (this happened supernaturally, the curtains made NO flapping or wave pattern, it was like they were frozen solid) and so was the netting. I lay there paralyzed with fear for about 2 minutes as whatever this thing was obviously wanted me to stew in fear, then as I was getting it together to scream or move (both of which I couldn't do) something flew right at me into my bed, and it stopped literally inches from my face, it just hovered there. It looked like a ghost wearing a mask, I can't remember the eyes, only that they terrified me so much my heart stopped. It told me something (which I can't yet recall) and I remember it DID not touch me, it just hovered there. Then, as weirdly as it had appeared it took off, the second it left the window it closed and so did the netting and curtains.

The reason I scratched to remember this is many-fold.
Ever since this happened I have been TERRIFIED of the dark, like it's a physical presence that I can feel. I can't sleep at all, I ALWAYS wake up (sometimes paralysed with fear) and look straight at the exit to my room because I can feel something watching me. I can't walk outside without my eyes being glued to the sky (thanks to the pyramid UFO) and I HATE large windows at night, as in I actually can't stand it. I once recorded my sleep to see if I could hear anything because some nights I wake and I see lights that disappear as soon as I look at them, sometimes it's shadows too. I sweat profusely if I try and force myself to sleep. And about 3 nights ago I was awoken by myself being 'dropped' onto my bed. I also have, out of nowhere started to have major back problems that simply disappear whenever I go to get them checked! I have to surround myself in light or I don't feel safe. I also wake something with a crazy rushing sound, like water, running through my head. Sometimes it gets so loud I think I'm under a waterfall! Or it'll be a buzzing noise.

Guys I'm terrified, and I don't know what to do. This is ruining my life and there's no one I can talk to without being called insane! I have tried ringing my brain and trying to think of rational explanations. Maybe I have OCD I thought, maybe it's anxiety or simply a fear? But it's not, it's something real and it's still happening to me.

I want to record my sleep and watch the video back, that's how desperate I'm getting, but I'm scared to. I thought once I found God and asked for help that this would stop, but it didn't. The fear's still there and so's the 'weirdness'. Guys I'm at the end of my tether, I no longer sleep and I've become completely withdrawn. I don't speak to anyone and when I do I'm not all there. I can't think or function and it shows.

Is there any help for this kind of experience? Please don't call me crazy, I know it's unbelievable but I'm not lying to you. I'm currently typing this to you all at 4:15am, I have work at 9am. This is now my life and I can't escape it, I've tried everything.....

I will record my sleep for a few weeks and take audio too. But I think if I find anything I'll die emotionally all over again!? HELP.

I should add to this that I used to sit in my garden about one and a half years ago and just sit there looking at the sky, that's how bad I got. I would be out there from about 1am to 4am and I'd just sit there watching. A few times I did see strange things and I tried to 'communicate' with 'them'. I don't know why I did it, I knew it would terrify me. I INVITED this force back and now I don't know how to stop it. I sometimes wake up with strange marks on my face and arms too, like weird red scratches and blemishes like I've been burned by something...
I nearly got my father involved to, after a 'session' in the garden he walked out to sort his motorbike out and ran straight back in saying that a HUUUUGE shadow was moving silently and slowsly across the WHOLE of our gardens, meaning it would of been, in size, about 30 football fields. He said it made no noise and was VERY low, but it looked like a shadow (it too was jet black)......

If this is really effecting you the id suggest you move & if that is difficult to organize then you should socialize with friends more or get into a hobbie and that way it should take your mind of it and slowly fade away

I believe that you believe what you are experiencing is really happening, because it is really happening for you. What I mean be that is you did see it but nobody else has. I'm afraid of the dark, too, to some extent, what helps me sleep is reminding myself that I won't sleep unless I close my eyes, and that I need to stop opening them if I want to wake up on time for work the next day..Haha..

I wasn't there and I didn't see your UFO, so I can't tell you I believe you, but I will say that I don't disbelieve you, because they can be extraordinary and elaborate events that nobody will believe until they see it themselves. I have seen one, it wasn't triangular and it didn't have a laser, but it did rotate, shoot around, take other formations, and emit a beam of light into the treetops... so I cannot disbelieve your account, because what I seen was elaborate and near impossible to understand also.


I don't want to hijack your thread, but my story can be found Here if you want to read about similar experiences

I don't usually offer straight out,
but if you wanna talk about this, or even talk 'at' me sometime so you don't lose your mind I'm online frequently...

reply to post by FeelingPure


I tried that and it didn't work!

This is something that I've been trying to move away from all my life. It's only recently, now that I've remembered what I shouldn't of tried to that it's effecting me.

I can't function. After the 'experience' I was all weird, like I had a mission of some importance that I couldn't explain. And I suddenly became vegetarian with a massive fear of animals eyes. These things don't make sense to me and I'm struggling to cope. Telling to me simply move and talk to friends is insulting to me. I've tried that for years and it's STILL effecting me, to this day I can't sleep because I'm always woken up!

reply to post by Joneselius


Google hypnogogic jerk on i am on my phone or i would link . it will explain the feeling of falling/landing on your bed. i have had it myself so know how convincing it can be. id just started working in my allotment and basically seems like muscles i hadnt used much before were over tired. there ar other things that can cause it too all the usual suspects for poor quality sleep, smoking, alcohol, coffee etc. Basically when your muscles start to relax your brain can sometimes read that as falling and sends signls to your muscles to correct it.

the first incident seems like sleep paralysis something that happens lots to lots of people nothing to worry about although it can be terrifying at the time. What you see in those situations is heavily influenced by what you see around you. people use to see vampires demons or witches hovering over them now it tends to be more alien looking things. look both of those things up on google and you will find ways to try to prevent them. Best of luck managing better sleep if it is something that becomes regular you should definitely see a doctor as it may be due to anxiety or an underlying health problem. but usually it is most likely over tiredness stress etc. good luck.

reply to post by Joneselius


You are not crazy. The phenomenon is real, I am convinced of that. It is the greatest "secret" some how kept from the masses. It cannot Redman that way for ever, so it is only a matter of time.

As far as your case, I would recommend counseling, from a open minded therapist, aware of the reality of the phenomenon. Not sure where you are located, but I would recommend Delores Cannon's website, for a list of trained specialists and hypnotherapists.

I wish you the very best my friend. Keep writing and talking about it. It will help to read of similar experiences by others.

reply to post by unb3k44n7


I've tried that, I tried sleeping with lights on and talking myself out of my fear. I tried counselling and talking to people. It didn't help because it's an ongoing thing!

I don't even want people to believe me any more, I'm beyond that. I just need to know I'm not alone in experiencing this. And if someone has, how they stopped it.

reply to post by glassspider


I can understand your need for a common cause to my problem. I am aware of all you typed out also. None of these fit what I experience, as when I'm 'dropped' it wakes my girlfriend up too!

I often get nosebleeds and wake up with blood on the pillow too, that's another thing my doctor couldn't diagnose. I've been to my doctor, and counselling, multiple times. It is NOT helping me. They keep telling me the same things. And yet it doesn't help.

I truly understand people's need to make this a normal thing, with an underlying cause that's completely normal, hell i've tried it for years. But it's not working.

reply to post by Joneselius


I would like to talk to you more but not in a thread.

reply to post by unb3k44n7


I would gladly talk to you if I knew how to.

If you tell me how I'll message you privately.

Originally posted by Joneselius
reply to post by glassspider

 

I can understand your need for a common cause to my problem. I am aware of all you typed out also. None of these fit what I experience, as when I'm 'dropped' it wakes my girlfriend up too!

I often get nosebleeds and wake up with blood on the pillow too, that's another thing my doctor couldn't diagnose. I've been to my doctor, and counselling, multiple times. It is NOT helping me. They keep telling me the same things. And yet it doesn't help.

I truly understand people's need to make this a normal thing, with an underlying cause that's completely normal, hell i've tried it for years. But it's not working.

okay you added quite alot to the thread as i was typing my reply i can see now that mine was not the type of response you wanted. i dont have a need to find anything at all. i was offering advice on something that i and many people have experience of. i can now see people are only welcome here if they exclaim must be aliens i believe you brother. fair enough. before the additions to the op it looked like you wanted advice about the feeling of landing a and the sleep paralysis experience. but since you just want to talk about aliens i'll step out. i would say obsessing about anything be it aliens or bigfoot or a new game will affect sleep patterns negatively. hope you only get the kind of replies you were hoping for. Be well

You're not alone. My experience happened when I was three. I remember it vividly, and UFOs or aliens (to my knowledge) were not involved.

There was a silhouette walking toward us (my mother and I), so we walked back inside and mom locked the sliding glass door and sent me to bed. Not three minutes later I heard a commotion from the living/dining room in our duplex, so I ran out to see what it was. This silhouette man was attacking my mother. He was on top of her, pinning her down and she was struggling and screaming to get out from under him. Being the brave little boy I was I yelled at the man "get off my mommy!". Then all fell silent, my mother went limp, and he turned his head toward me and simply said "no". That word reverberated throughout my whole body, and filled me with terror. He then turned into a shadow, and absorbed into my mother, through her mouth, as if he was made of air. I stood there, paralyzed for a few moments until my mother regained consciousness and asked me why I was standing there, because she had sent me to bed. Trembling, I asked her what happened, to no avail. She did not recall anything had happened at all, and this holds true to this day, 28 years later.

I know I wasn't dreaming, it wasn't night terrors, and I most certainly was not hallucinating. I wasn't even tired, I just laid there, thinking childish thoughts and listening to my mother singing and cleaning in the other room, until my little world turned upside down.

I can't explain it, despite my trying, and I still think about it from time-to-time. I can still hear/feel the one word that was spoken to me by him.

I get by, mainly because I've given up on explaining it, and it hasn't happened again since. You're not alone, and I'm not going to say it's only real because it's real to you. None of us were there, we cannot for certain say that what happened was reality, or some sort of mental episode. What I will say is I believe you, and you are not alone.

reply to post by glassspider


No. I fully appreciate your reply.

I am telling you that I've tried your solutions and they didn't work.
Why would you take that as though I'm only interested in aliens? I would KILL for this to be a normal explainable thing. Something with a mundane conclusion that I could be easily helped with.

I'm telling you that I'm aware of your explanation and you take that as I have an agenda? Come on man. Be reasonable. I have TRIED counselling and seeing my doctor. I really have.

Please don't tell me I'm only interested in comments about aliens because I'm not. I respect your opinion 100% and thank you for it. I didn't mean to come across as defensive if that's what it seemed. But I'm struggling to cope dude, and I'm at the end of my tether....

reply to post by Joneselius


Really sorry to read of your difficulties...."Guys I'm terrified, and I don't know what to do. This is ruining my life and there's no one I can talk to without being called insane! "

My only honest suggestion, and I mean this with kindness and sincerity, you seem to be in quite a bit of duress over this............please

go see a professional.....a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist. They will not deride you or make you feel strange, they will help you....and that is what you are asking for.......help. If you seek this type of help, I can promise you that you won't feel insane......talk to a professional. Peace!!

I don't think you're crazy at all.

I have had this myself. The night terrors I mean. Scared of windows, scared to sleep, scared of the dark. All that you mentioned I can relate to. It is indeed terrifying. It really is. I would sense a presence but too scared to look and find out. I would wake up paralyzed. This paralysis made my body feel light and floaty, I could not control my body. I felt violated by this intrusion. How dare they! Go away. I thought I saw a UFO as well but could have been a dream. I saw its underside and opening that takes you in, so scary. I think now it was a dream. I recall waking up seeing it outside my window and thinking buzz off, so sick of this, take somebody else for a change. This memory helped convince me it might be real. Because how could I have thought UFOs came to neighbourhoods in the middle of the night if I had never heard about that happening? I even had burnt grass beside my window and a dead tree. So many clues. Silly clues I pieced together.

One thing I can offer as advice and I am being presumptuous here, so forgive me if I ask if you have been reading about abductions by aliens? I think you have and the symptoms we both speak of are on the list, so it makes you start to question it, as far fetched as it is and you know it is but these books or articles will tell you its common to deny it. The memories are repressed and in your mind ready to be recalled, etc. as you read along you are thinking wow I had that too.

I even had that Budd Hopkins fellow contact me asserting me I had. I talked to him on the telephone. I fell for this hook line and sinker. I cannot believe I did but I did. I am being honest here and I know you are as well.

I have come to the conclusion that for myself, there was never any abductions, these books I read as a hobby were convincing me and scaring me. It's scary because you want to know yet verification would be too frightening and as humans we really cannot accept anything foreign. We can't and anyone thinking this is cool is very wrong. It isn't cool, isn't fun. It's a living nightmare.

What made it go away for me was to stop researching it. Let it go. It's the only way or you will torture yourself further.

I hope I didn't scare you in any way and wish you peace.

Try to read about other things. Find a hobby or something. I know that sounds cliche " find a hobby" but it helps to switch the focus. . Again I am being presumptuous this is your current focus. Avoid this UFO forum.

I no longer believe in UFOs or aliens abducting people. Not scared to look at my window. Not even embarrassed to tell my story either because it was never real. It took me years to get to this stage of complete denial.

reply to post by Deemo Diablo


But how do you cope?

How do you come back from something like that to a mundane and normal life? You were a lot younger than I. My mental capacity was a lot further along. I'm sure being a child helped with the experience. But I was one year of being a teen and being in secondary school! It made dealing with it harder.

Maybe it was all a hallucination and my mind just keeps making it worse. But that UFO..... I felt that. It was real and it scared me to death. It felt....... Evil.

reply to post by ItDepends


I'm in the process of going to see a psychiatrist as we speak.

I'll update this post with the outcome when I get it. If it's a perfectly normal thing I'll write it in capital letters

reply to post by Joneselius


I understand it's insulting, but it was good advice about a hobby.
It's switching the focus to something else because this consumes you.

reply to post by Joneselius


sounds to me like you need to push that memory way back down..

way down waaaaay down

reply to post by violet


I did do that, lol.

I stopped looking at aliens and UFOs for about 3 years from the ages of 16 to 20. I was exactly the same. It just wont go away. I don't to this day look at much UFO stuff either as it would only scare me.

The UFO I saw couldn't of been a dream, it was too close and I walked back into the house 4 or five times, for a drink, to pinch myself, to throw water on my face and then to simply get away from it. Every time I came back out it was still there, I was on the phone to a friend at the time and I even told him that I'd have to get back to him as there was a craft over our street.