Need all the positive thoughts and stuff you all can muster please.

I talked with the other surgeon today since my dr/surgeon wasn't in. They work closely together. She gave me the good news, then the bad and then the worse news.

Good is that I'm healing fine, (sorry for any tmi coming up but it IS medical), that I definitely do have to get my uterus, cervix and one ovary removed asap. Keeping the other ovary means I will NOT go through menopause early. Also, the cancer scare was negative.

The bad is that the endo has my uterus so compacted that it's rock solid and will not move. It is also deeply deeply adheised .... can't spell it. basically my uterus is deeply deeply glued to my colon. They will have to peel off layers to unglue the two.

worst news is that due to having to DO that, there is a 98% probability of them cutting my colon. IF they see the cut, they can call in the other surgeons to fix it. If it's a tiny cut and they miss it, I can't put this any other way but straight up: I will not come out of this alive. I'll be kept in the hospital for up to two days to keep an eye open for it, so hopefully that will stop this, but she was straight up with me, the chances of me not making it are at about 75% but I HAVE to get this taken out. I have no choice.
I wish I had better news to give.

Part of me wants to run, avoid surgery, live with the pain and LIVE.

On talking with a dr friend once coming home today about that though, he said to get the surgery. if my uterus et al is as bad as they're saying, if i hold off, it will deteriorate worse and i WILL ultimately die as it very well could 'eat up' my colon.

This was NOT news I was wanting to get by any means. Not by my surgeon, nor by my dr friend.

I think I'll be putting off my past life readings on here for a while. I have too much on my plate right now to focus on those. I really can't do those right now. I'm positively scared.

Hoping the best for you.....

All my wishes, may everything be well in your life.

Hang in there!

Sending positive thoughts your way. I hope all goes well and you get better.

***hugs***

I hope you are going well...

I hope that everything will turn out okay for you. I send my best wishes out to you, in the hopes that you will be fine.

Good luck, and best wishes,

Daas

reply to post by sarra1833



I'll be sending positive thoughts your way too

I truly hope for the best outcome on this.
Don't go into the operation with any negative thoughts.
Trust that the universe will help fix you up as good as new.

You ATS friends, and allies stand with you. I send you every imaginable positive thought, and feeling. A member of the community is never alone.

Sarra, I'm hoping that all of this will go well, that you will heal with no complications and go on with a pain free future. I believe that you will and I will keep thinking positive thoughts for you and for your loved ones who must also be scared for you, understandably. I also hope that until the procedure is done that you will find some sort of comfort and peace to ease your anxiety although I can imagine that this is very nerve raking .

All the best of wishes for you and yours.

Thank you everyone. I have the best surgeons for this and given how severe and abnormal my case is, they'll be watching like hawks during the operation and after. I can't blame them if something untoward happens.

I'm trying to stay positive though it's hard right now. The news is still 3 hours fresh. Maybe 4 hours.

It's really making me relook at life though. I want to start a blog somewhere to put out how horrible the disease of endo is and how vital it is to get checked via more than just by a speculum and finger. The stuff embeds on your organs, fuses them together, can be very much life threatening as in my case, and can spread to even ones lungs, brain......

I want more teen girls and women to know how vital it is to get checked if they have severe cramps, heavy bleeding, etc. even cysts and fibroids which I have too, can cause a lot of issues.



god I'm freakin terrified......

surgery will probably be in Jan or Feb. December is pretty much booked.

reply to post by sarra1833


It's good that they know to be extra vigilant because of the nature of the surgery, I know that's not much comfort but at least they know to really be on the look out.

I have to admit, even as a woman, I had no idea that the uterus could actually fuse up like that and even spread damage to other organs. I think the blog is an excellent idea not only to educate others (like you've just done with me) but it may be good for you too, to write about it. It might be kind of therapeutic.

reply to post by sarra1833


Sarra, I can tell you're a good person. And I will be sending you all the positivity I can, because just reading that made my heart ache for you. I hope things go well.

reply to post by sarra1833


Sweet Heart, I understand your Terrified and Scared.
Listen, We send you (((((Hugs))))) and Positive Thoughts and we care for you.
For the next 7 nights, We will burns Very Special Incenses for you with my Prayers and Meditation.

sarra1833, Be Calm and Relax, the chemicals released into your body from worrying and stressing over this is harming you.
I know it hard, but Relax, close your eyes, clear your mind and take deep slow breaths.
Yes, let the music heal your mind and body.

You must concentrate,, You're a Good Person and You're Strong, You have the Mind, Body and Soul of a Warrior, close your eyes and Concentrate.

Thank all of you and thank you for the beautiful music.

I do believe in the power of music, definitely.

reply to post by sarra1833

Good luck, sweet pea, and stay positive. I hope it works well. My thoughts will be with you.
OOO

Sarra, prayers and lifting for healing and love.

I was diagnosed at 15 yrs old with stage 3 endometriosis. I had laser surgeries on the average every 3-5 yrs. Begged and pleaded insurance companies who would approved then cancel the night before. I had 3 adheres or lesions on my colon which they cut through the wall because they were so embedded. The supporting ligaments of the uterus and bladder were collapsing from the scar tissue. Intestine resection of about 3 inches removed because of being choked off. And on two occasions scar tissue on the cyatic (sp) nerve. Bladder was completely fused to the uterus. I was told to expect to be paralyzed, colonoscopy, and if able to walk would never be able to lift or carry any thing over 5 lbs.. That is not what turned out! After a partial then went back after the ovaries later, cause if you dont get the hormone maker out, the existing endo cells continue to cycle and scar each cycle. I ended up not doing RHT, replacement hormone therapy, and menopaused in 8 wks, and was done. I was never able to exercise or swim or bike for more than a few minutes, now I can go as long as I want. I feel a close heartfelt compassion for you or any woman with endo. I suffered so much during my younger years. It affected my work and how my boss felt me having my period was just an excuse. Till I had enough of him putting me down and asked him to come to my store, he worked at one, me another. And I made him promise he had to stay the whole day and help me through the day if I stayed and didn't request that day off every 28 days. He did and had someone ready to fill in cause if I came to work i couldn't take pain pills and drive too, which meant he also had to take me to my drs. office where I had a standing order for two pain shots if I needed them. I generally learned to manage not to have to go get them and stayed home and suffered through it alone. He drove me home and asked forgiveness the whole way and never underestimated my planning around my self pain management. I never became an addict by the grace of God. I am now 48 and am stronger than many 20 yr olds I work with! I used this as strength and will power building, but never was able to lead a balanced life until after the last surgeries. All I pleaded for was "make it stop!" Part of the hardest part was healing and not letting the new scar tissue limit my mobility.

I so wanted to ask for a reading, but didn't see the thread till it was closed. So was disappointed when I saw this thread that you are still struggling and mending. u2u me if you'd like, would love to converse privately.

Hugs prayers, and light
SfS

Our prayers, positive thoughts, love, and caring going out for you. You have a lot of caring people thinking about you and anticipating your healing.

I just hate being trapped in a human body, there's too many things that can go wrong with it!

I am the Queen of terrified and had my own health issues as you know, so I understand how you feel. Really I do! They always have to warn you of what could possibly go wrong, but it doesn't mean anything will. Hell, when I had to have a port put in for my chemo, I was told they could puncture a lung etc. Good God, that scared the hell out of me. And of course with any surgery they tell you there is chance you can die but they don't expect it.

Still, I know that no matter what anyone says, you are still going to be frightened as hell as I was. At least you know that you have a lot of people praying, sending healing vibes and thinking of you. We are all here by your side and we arn't going anywhere.

Do try to have a peaceful Thanksgiving with your family. You will be in my thoughts and prayers Honey. HUGS!!!!

reply to post by sarra1833


I'm truly sorry to hear the bad news. I completely understand your decision in delaying the readings. You'll need every ounce of your strength to get through this both physically and mentally.

I myself (a woman as well) had no idea something like this could happen in regards to it turning rock hard and whatnot, although I do know a bit about Endometriosis, my sister has it. I have not followed up with her on how she has dealt with it though.

All I can say is I hope you get through this alive and well. Just remember that many are praying for you. =)

I love you all so much. So so much.

If I could hug you all personally, believe me, I would.

My mom who my dad married in 86 has been mentally abusive to me my entire life. I just got off the phone with her and she had the gall to cut me down, tell me that if I tell my aunt and cousin who survived cancer and hyster at the same time, they'd laugh behind my back while giving me love to my face because what I'm facing is so trivial compared to what they went through. That's NOT true; no one in my family is evil like my mom - but it still hurt deeply. I dont know what hurt worse today; the news from the dr, or the hateful reaction from my mom. Or I should say from my ''mom''.

Out of all the love and support I got from friends today, HER hate is just assaulting me hard. It makes me feel like what if what I'm going through IS silly and trivial? I'm feeling like I'm a horrible person now. Course i never got anything right in her eyes. Even this I'm doing wrong.

The hurt and pain I'm feeling now is so deep, no amount of anything can stop it. I gotta stay with them for xmas for 8 days. I'm doing it to see my daddy. He may not be around for too long and i haven't seen him in 2 years. If I gotta agree with the witch just to keep peace so I can enjoy my time there, I will. but after that, forget her. This is something I can forgive in time because I KNOW the value of forgiveness, but I will never

and I mean NEVER

forget. This scar is going to run deeper than if I got 300000 surgeries all over.

reply to post by sarra1833


I'm sorry to hear that. I know what she said hurts, but you have to focus on yourself right now, you have friends who care (and here at ATS we are family too) and you should focus on that.

You are important, what happens to you and how you fee about it matters. You are not evil, you're an honest, loving, strong person and you'll get through this.

I'm not going to tell you not to fear, because in a situation like this it's alright being scared. But don't let that fear control you, remember we're here for you, to help you fight this and listen to you if you need. You're not alone.