i don't like my neighbors

reply to post by horseplay


Something is just not right about your story. At first I thought you just communicated it poorly but, as I read further it seems like it is possible you and your neighbors are just giving a new neighbor a hard time for being culturally different.

You may call your home visit the "welcome wagon" but, city folks may see that as a suspicious act, especially if you are weird to them (I'm a city person, and many of you country people take some getting used to). What are your motives? Everyone has a motive.... especially in this day and age...why would a complete stranger be compelled to knock on a new neighbors door? Do my pets bother you, do I not mow my lawn exactly the way the rest of the neighbors do? Is there some complaint? Maybe you are the town creep? Who knows. Perhaps you are a busybody, those kind are always trouble.

they were really nervous i was there and just not friendly. when they drive by they don't look or wave at any of us. just weird for out here.

Perhaps your visit made them nervous, what's wrong with you that you have this need to rush a relationship with these people? I mean really, wave? To complete strangers? I say it like this because I am a city person who has moved and lived in the country (many times) and some of you people "yes, I said, "you people" are really strange to outsiders. In fact, for no reason other than fear of the unknown, you guys can be pretty unpleasant for no reason other than the imaginations that run through your mind. The bible verse about "busybodies" became clearly understood only after living in the country.

towards the end of last summer someone came and burned their shed down. i saw the guy walking down the street that did it but i didn't see anything, you know. turned out there was a meth lab in there. arson tape went up and i didn't see anyone there for a while but I don't know the outcome.

You sound like a bad neighbor. If it was one of the other neighbors (your friends) would you have seen something? Perhaps it was one of those friends?

about 10:30 we were all walking from the barn to the house and clear as can be we heard a shot. Clearly heard it about 30 feet in front of us and clearly heard it go into the corn field. Well, needless to say it pissed us off. My brother in law started yelling at them telling them he was gonna call the cops among many profanities about how intelligent they were.

Something is missing in your whole story. When something is missing in a story it usually means that you left out key facts that would give a better picture of what actually happened.

first light this am I went out and checked all my farm animals, house, car, truck, etc. just to be sure they didn't put a bullet in anything.

People don't usually just target a neighbor for no reason especially if they purchased the home. Again, it seems like you have left much out of this story.

so i'm still stewing and i don't know why. i never did anything to them. are they just friggin stupid or are they starting something? they did tell me they came from the city and it looks like they brought their darn city troubles with them. I just wish they would move away. they don't belong out here.

I understand this. Our neighbors know each other and disliked us for driving what they considered too fast down the road. Where we came from, it was perfectly normal in fact, your annoying if you were driving too slow. It wasn't long before we realized everything was much slower in the country and we adapted. Some country towns are friendly, others are outright hostile to any outsiders and never really accept newcomers. You move anywhere different and you adapt to the environment. Some people don't give newcomers a chance to adapt before starting silly rumors and creating a negative experience for the newcomers before they even get a chance to get to know people naturally (not rushed).
I just wonder if you aren't the one flapping your gums with wild rumors with anger and fear of the strangers before giving them a change to adapt to their new surroundings.

they don't belong out here.

There is your problem. Who are you to dictate who can buy a house and live where? You have implied that these people where criminals yet the only things you have explained seem to indicate poor behavior on your part as a neighbor and only unjustified rumors and accusations against people you don't even know. Your story indicates deception in my opinion and you certainly don't sound like the welcoming committee, just saying. Did you even invite them to church or a local event? Probably not.

reply to post by horseplay


If it was a meth lab, perhaps they don't even realise a shot was fired? Seriously, they could have been totally out of it, then heard shouting voices and panicked like mad!

I would suggest that you don't stir too much with them. Meth can lead to some highly unpredictable behaviour, so there is simply no point in putting yourself directly into harms way. I would report the incident to the Police, let them get on with it and then go about your normal behaviour i your area (which sounds lovely). If you see the mother or daughter, smile and wave, etc. You never know, random niceness from people may bring about a positive change in them (i have seen that happen myself).

reply to post by OldSchoolMom


yes, i see your point.
They moved out here over 2 years ago, and they had been there several months before one day I was driving by and they were out in the front yard so I stopped to say hello. I wasn't being nosey, just trying to be friendly. I even offered to bring them a truckload of wood which they declined. (free).
He seemed very nervous, she seemed OK. They told me they came from the city and moved to get away from the city life. They also told me wherever they came from they were afraid to go out of their front door so it must have been a really bad neighborhood.
anyhow, that was the only time i talked to them.
I had no clue they were into meth until the arson thing. and I only believed it because the cop told me that.
And now that I've calmed down I'm thinking the 'near shot' was an accident, a ricochet, not intentional at us. Maybe they just got the gun. I dunno. It's still not a good idea to shoot randomly in the dark.
anyhow, I appreciate your point of view.

reply to post by Flavian


thanks, I don't know much about meth.
I'd rather not call the cops, because I just don't want to stir up trouble or bad feelings.
I like the random kindness idea, I don't see them much but I'll keep that in mind.
I'm really a nice person.

reply to post by horseplay


Me neither to be honest, only what i read in the papers (and that seems truly horrible).

Generally i would advise just using your judgement about them. For all we offer our opinions, we have not met them and therefore your judgement is your most valuable tool.

On the kindness front, a little kindness can go a long way. If they are not as scary as i imagine, then maybe try something from leftfield (that they wouldn't be expecting) - say, drop round a pan of something or some cakes or whatever. Little things like that can make the world of difference. I once lived in an area where i was the only white person for around a 10 minute walk in every direction. I was young (early 20's) and shaven headed in a Pakistani Muslim area of this country. For the first few weeks, all i got was funny looks from people and women crossing the street if they were on my side. Then one day i got back from work and my neighbours' wife had left me a pan of curry and a plate of meat samosas on my doorstep with a little note. I went round to say thank you (hadn't actually spoken to them by that point) and as i was there the neighbour on the other side pulled up in her car, fresh from the shops. I offered to help unload the car for her.

By that evening, i had everyone on my street come round to say hello and generally introduce themselves. I never had any problems in the area after that point(despite hearing horror stories from other white folk who had lived there before). If the car wouldn't start, neighbours would come out to give me a bump start, etc.

Basically, a little kindness can lead to a wonderful life. However, like i said at the start of this post, use your judgement to see if this may be a good idea. You never know though, even if they turn out to be horrible, the fact you show kindness may mean they direct that malice elsewhere.

reply to post by horseplay

I had no clue they were into meth until the arson thing. and I only believed it because the cop told me that. And now that I've calmed down I'm thinking the 'near shot' was an accident, a ricochet, not intentional at us. Maybe they just got the gun. I dunno. It's still not a good idea to shoot randomly in the dark. anyhow, I appreciate your point of view.

Thanks for the response. I didn't quite understand when you were saying it was a meth lab. If it had been a meth lab, any evidence at all there would be arrests and public record of the accusation (even if it hasn't gone to trial yet).
That's why I find it difficult to believe the meth lab claim is more than just a vicious rumor.
It may be because of this rumor, these people's public image is being destroyed. I suspect being a country town that it might be awkward for them to go shopping or do any activities with such a rumor hanging over their head. I am pretty sure they aren't even aware of what is being said about them either, they may just notice the hostile looks and attitudes. What a terrible thing to do to people who have invested in a town with the desire to call it home.
If the drug thing is true, I would suspect more traffic than what you mentioned. I would also expect them to stay on the lowdown and not be shooting at the neighbors to bring the police to their home.

reply to post by OldSchoolMom


alright, I've got to admit you've changed my way of thinking. I've spent the last hour or so looking up my neighbors on the internet.
geezl I hate being nosey.
But in 3 counties I find no record of anything substantial or drug related.
are you my neighbor? lol.
so apparently the meth lab thing could not be proven or something. It was not brought to a court, anyway.
It was arson for sure, but maybe not a meth lab after all.
and of course, us country folk took it and ran with it.
thank you for a 'city' perspective, I really appreciate it. maybe we all have jumped to erroneous conclusions about them. I'm honestly not so scared now.
But even so, they need to go to gun safety school.
Maybe I'll bring them some homemade jam for the holidays. really.

It is clear that your neighbors are into some kind of drug. Most likely meth. That is no fun to deal with. Yet, you are lucky in a sense. I live in Tokyo and my neighbors treat everyone who gets near them like they are either a rapist or a murderer. All my neighbors hate each other with a deep burning passion.

reply to post by horseplay

are you my neighbor? lol.

lol...no I am not your neighbor. For some reason the good lord saw fit to put me here and there all my life so I am always the "outsider" (my family as well). I learned a lot about people and towns by being the outsider. If your town is treating innocent people poorly, it will come back on the town. I have lived to see God's word play out.

No one wants bad people in their town but, God says show no partiality to persons and when towns disregard their own peoples poor behavior (like turning a blind eye, like you mentioned) and treat innocent people unjustly it will come back on all the people responsible in some way. I have seen it.
Not meaning to preach , I am just sharing with you stuff I learned/witnessed in my travels.
So, I just have sympathy for outsiders since I have always been here.

Currently, I live in a town now that's small and has tons of churches. I lived here 5 yrs now and not once have I been invited to a church or an event and the only neighbor who came talked to me came to tell me what is expected out of us as a neighbor (like a warning rather than friendly). We are quiet people and mind our own business...keep our property neat and tidy. Yet, still out of fear ....locals sometimes bring aggression (or behave in a way that make us not care to get to know them) rather than that pie or an invite. *shrugs
I guess what I am saying is, if more people would treat each other like they would like to be treated this world would be a nicer place. Peace

Originally posted by freedomwv
It is clear that your neighbors are into some kind of drug. Most likely meth. That is no fun to deal with. Yet, you are lucky in a sense. I live in Tokyo and my neighbors treat everyone who gets near them like they are either a rapist or a murderer. All my neighbors hate each other with a deep burning passion.

oh, that is so sad. good neighbors are everything, really. I've lived here 20 years now and it's the kind of country road where if the power goes out we call each other when one of us goes to town to see if anybody needs anything.
We try to watch each others houses.
I'm on the call list for my neighbors alarm system, and they are on mine.
Last winter when I got my tractor stuck in the mud I called another neighbor down the road and he was here that day and got me out.
We are not in each others faces, but we are there for each other if need be and it's really sweet.
We just look out for each other and we are friends too.
These new 'city folk' just have us on edge. The rumors, the arson, etc. If they are into drugs so be it. We just hope they don't involve us in their problems.