reply to post by Philodemus
Here's a true personal story.
I have two grown children. A girl, now 23, and a boy, now 21.
When I had the girl, I had insurance through my husband, and it covered a state-of-the-art "birthing room" (1988), in a very good private hospital,
as well as experienced OB/GYNs for prenatal care. I was very excited to be pregnant, and I dove into every bit of education I could find. I had nine
months (an entire American School Year) to be ready.
The hospital in which she was born provided that I went through labor, delivery (when the Star-Trekky wall panels and ceiling tiles suddenly
"opened" and ejected high-tech instruments and monitors to avail the process), and recovery all in the same room, the same bed. I had the same
nurse throughout my 3-day stay. It was a wonderful, encouraging experience.
Two years and two months later, my second child was due, and we had lost our insurance due to economic factors and circumstances. So, I had to use
the public health system......
and on the day after my baby was born, someone handed me a "questionnaire." It asked questions like "Did you want the gender of baby that you
have?", "What do you want your child to be when s/he grows up?" and "What will you do if he or she fails to achieve that goal that you want?"
and so forth. Probably a dozen questions.
I was appalled. (My answers were: I had no preference as to gender, and I wanted him to be happy and well-adjusted, and that as long as he was
interested and happy pursuing his future I was fine with it.)
It occurred to me that, as the state hospital, they were screening parents for potential problematic attitudes and education. This was a good thing
(though I found it insulting at the time), I've decided.
Either they were helping with a grad student "psych" or "parenting" thesis research project, or they were genuinely concerned there, as staff in
the maternity ward, about how prepared people are, and how much support they might need. So, there you have it (method of delivery)>>>>>>>>
The nurses and social workers and doctors/interns/residents (or whoever) at prenatal clinics and maternity hospitals can provide at LEAST rudimentary
literature and have conversations with pregnant parents, just like a doc will give aftercare "instructions" to a surgery patient on discharge as
part of the routine care
. WHY is there no "New Parent Discharge Instructions" booklet given to new parents?????
For the time being, parenting skills generally reflect what upbringing the parent had. That's why it's important. If a person comes from a
dysfunctional (beyond the norm) family that promotes unhealthy coping skills, inadequate nutrition, lack of education, abuse (of others or
substances), etc., THAT IS HOW the child's early trajectory will be.
Without knowledge of any other way of parenting, the child will USUALLY (not always, some are more resilient and know instinctively the way they were
raised isn't good) be that same type of parent.
It's cyclical. It's about teaching people to raise children, WHICH ARE OUR MOST PRECIOUS ASSET.