Energy Vampires or just a crappy relationship?

Weve been together since september 2004

Shes done bad things and Ive done even worser things. We are angry and miserable and exceptionally more angry and miserable when were out of cigarettes hahaha. Our kids are not happy most of the time.

We often have headaches, wake up lethargic and sore and numb sometimes. Usually mad or angry at somebody.

Neither of us will conduct our self changes and enjoy life until we are far away from eachother. Fitness, health, go out with friends.

If we get drunk together she has seizures but never when I am far away.

Idk what I did but I know what I am doing now.



I dont care anymore I just want to do something spiritually/metaphysically/psychologically to once and for all deal with this right here right now so I can just leave and so she can be happy all over again I feel sooo stuck and sooo depressed.... Somethings gotta be done now.

Im not looking for gradual processes involving psychology or talking because that doesnt seem to be working I just want to feel a enormous amount of resolve to be able to drive somewhere else and just go on experiencing life. Im sick of this being the way it is and staying this way it feels so disgusting to experience this over and over....


Any shamanistic, energy healers or spiritual aids are welcome to email me at thesaskatchewanguy at hotmail dot com

I am so sorry you are going through this. I was experiencing this too, last year. I could go on and on but its your thread. I feel it was a sign that I saw this because just last night I was crying because i felt sorry for my soon to be ex because it seems he is still stuck and isnt moving on. I feel like I was the one "carrying" him. I asked for a sign, just this morning that I had made the right decision and I feel this is it. so, thanks for that>

I can say this; if you have to dig deep every day to make the best of it, you should probably move on. I am the happiest I have been in 8-10 years. Although I'm not to the point where i dont feel somewhat guilty or worried about him. But that will come.

Good luck to you.

Take the leap. Make your move. No metaphysical or shamanistic guru is going to help. No one should have to tell you that only you can fix your relationship. You need a change. You're both just bored of experiencing the same things over and over again, to the point where you are taking it out on each other.

Talk to her about it. If it doesn't work or your pleas fall on def ears, move on and let time do its healing.

Originally posted by SaskGuy


We often have headaches, wake up lethargic and sore and numb sometimes. Usually mad or angry at somebody.

It just sounds like you are extremely toxic for each other.

I dont care anymore I just want to do something spiritually/metaphysically/psychologically to once and for all deal with this right here right now so I can just leave and so she can be happy all over again I feel sooo stuck and sooo depressed.... Somethings gotta be done now.

Excuse me for saying, you sound rather selfish in that you are the one that wants to leave. Hey, maybe she is feeling stuck too, and what about the kids?

Seems to me you need to man up and have a lengthy conversation from the heart with no booze on this one.

Instead of a magical cure, you might want to invest a few bucks in a marriage counselor or a mediator. You will never know unless you try on your own, huh?

He said he wants to leave so she can be happy again. That doesn't sound selfish to me. Its easy to say what you would do but when you are actually in that situation, you truly do feel stuck and it usually is mututal.

Someone has to take the leap to get help with your relationship or leave, whatever it is that you guys feel you need to do.

Originally posted by butterfly1
He said he wants to leave so she can be happy again..

But then goes on to say how he is unhappy and depressed.......so, it's really about him and his happiness, not hers.

If you do the same thing you always did, you get the same thing you always got.

So if you haven't changed anything, what is going to change?

Simply changing your behavior, can change hers.

Well we have trouble and deep seeded problems and I have tried to deal with them but there nobody playing catch withe that's all I'm saying. I feel like I owe her something and we do have deep problems I feel like we're both stuck this is all on the table between us.

I think I'm the culprit I've brought all this so how do I not be this energy sucker and how to I just be me and be happy so I don't get stuck in this again. I always attract this situation over and over... I want to change and she seems so happy and well off when I am gone.

Originally posted by SaskGuy
Well we have trouble and deep seeded problems and I have tried to deal with them but there nobody playing catch withe that's all I'm saying. I feel like I owe her something and we do have deep problems I feel like we're both stuck this is all on the table between us.

I think I'm the culprit I've brought all this so how do I not be this energy sucker and how to I just be me and be happy so I don't get stuck in this again. I always attract this situation over and over... I want to change and she seems so happy and well off when I am gone.

Just a few things you can do to get the ball rolling conversationally then to deal with this. If you have to, take the time to write it in letter form so she can read it and absorb it all.

Make a list of reasons why you should stay together. On the other side of the sheet make a list of why you shouldn't. It's a cost benefit analysis, and you have to be really honest about it.

Then make a list of things that have happened which support your reasons for being so unhappy. When you do this make sure it is in a non accusatory fashion where you admit to taking some of the blame.

THEN, and this is really important, you have to allow her to do the same things so the two of you can make comparisons. You will have to let her speak her mind.

After all of that is said and done, if there is any way to repair the relationship you will have a starting point where things are not all "he said, she said." Be sure however that you set a time limit for improvement in the areas where it needs to be. If the time limit comes and goes, then you can walk away knowing that you have really tried to give it your all.

reply to post by Sissel


Where did I say that I wanted to repair it? I want to either pass a message to her that this IS toxic and we can go on to better things. She's got her henhouse (life plans) it took me a long time to try and reassure her our relationship isnt gonna last forever. I don't want this this right now i hope it could be one of those butterfly things but im willing to completely let go without expectations. Its torture to me and especially her, i dont want it anymore this is one of those horrible experiences that, ya know, there was some beauty but you both no there are things you want to do that we both restrict each other from attaining. I've kept her from her academic goals she's kept me from my spiritual goals.

The stuff I've learned I have deep affinity for but I've also learned deeper things about myself and I cant seem to find where in myself I owe her. As if I was this horrible person to her and I've been trying to make it up.

I just feel like I have a deep calling to let this go properly and move on. I must admit that once I come out of whatever my calling is that she would be waiting on the other side for me hahaha but like I said I'm prepared to let everything go and find this calling. Whatever it is it seems to transcend everyday routines that feel so empty. I've been on many adventures already but thinking back even those feel empty. I feel too mindful that I can even be a drunk or eat unhealthy. Like there's a greater purpose that transcends my life that I can contribute to.

Maybe this is my awakening.

I should just be completely honest about everything. I just don't want her to hold a grudge or take it the wrong way because I do like being with her but we don't serve each other the things we want in lifd.

reply to post by SaskGuy


Well then, time to move on.

All you can do at this point is move on. So, I guess I wonder why you even started your thread when what you wanted was validation for leaving?

If it is that bad, you have to leave. Sorry to say though, you sound like you have guilt issues over this....so, are you really sure?

Do what you have to do then, and don't look back. Somehow you are questioning your own motivations, so I think you do still have a glimmer of hope as to what life with this woman could be.

Obviously you know you can't ever make her change, so......

It is called "loosh" - basically it is a kind of etheric/bioplasmic substance that is created, and traded like a commodity, however, when you are in a down state, you basically have an engine that needs a service, and this can be achieved mentally, when you look into your feelings with questions, and answer those questions, you can repair the loose connections and you can patch up the faults.

The tar in cigarettes does not help when it comes to higher-density energies, unless of course you need low-density "loosh".

When it comes to the idea of "energy vampirism" - if all energy were to be taken, it would be the exact same as if it were never stolen.

It is creation that counts, when you find the truth, you synthesize it, and that small grain of energy is a seed that you sow, and once it comes to fruition, it grows and returns to you in the eventual future.

reply to post by SaskGuy


Maybe you should both sit down over some dinner or something entertaining and really discuss what you both want.
If its hard to communicate verbally both of you sit an write list of what makes you both happy and what makes you both sad-angry-frustrated. Then share the list and check the list she gives you of the things you agree with her about that may need adjusted within you and tell her do the same. then switch list back but, don't get upset either of you with what you may learn about each other. Afterwards discuss if you 2 really want to go on together with happiness or if its best you 2 just separate and go your own ways so you both can find potential happiness that may be waiting for you. With that good luck SaskGuy, it can be hard to find that special person that will make you happy, but that does not mean they don't exist.

NAMASTE*******

I think it sounds that you truly love her and want her and yourself to go and do what truly makes you happy. Stop holding each other back with your toxic habits. The thing is, she may not feel the same way because she isn't as "evolved" as you are. Don't beat yourself up about it. You have to do what you feel is right. I know its easier said than done. I worry about my soon to be ex every day and he hates the ground I walk on. :-( Even though our lifestyle was so toxic you cannot even begin to imagine. Good luck to you on what you decide but I doubt she will agree. sure would be nice though.

reply to post by SaskGuy


From someone who's been through what you're going through I can tell you from my own experience that sometimes just up and leaving is the best thing you can do.

How does it feel? I'm not going to sugarcoat things. It's going to hurt at first. You've been together long enough to where you have a bond with the other person. To just suddenly cut that bond in half..............it's going to hurt. But this is only temporary as time really does heal these types of wounds. The type of hurt you're going through right now though is going to last as long as you allow it to.

I had to leave my marriage because it was toxic for me as well. The ex didn't know it at the time, but it was toxic on that end as well. We've been separated for 6 months now and we both feel better and communicate better with each other then we did before. We're better friends to each other then we were spouses. When you feel good about the people you're around, you feel good. You're going to be healthier, happier and more productive with what you need to do with your life.

And to that end, these positive vibes that I'm getting from being friends with my ex are going to carry over into the next partner I get. I'm taking it slow, deliberate, thorough and becoming the type of person I want to attract. I've attracted them but there were three loose ends that needed to be tied up before I could physically pursue the relationship any further. One is done, the other is just waiting for a judge to sign and the third will come when other people open their eyes and see that I really am worth the money they would be paying out for the position they need filled. It was strongly suggested that these three strings be tied before anything concrete happens, and as it turns out, those suggestions were right.

If I want a financially and emotionally stable partner I have to be the same and I certainly wasn't either of those when I left my previous relationship. When you're leaving something negative and working towards something positive, 6 months can seem like a lifetime. But if you're able to do everything you need to for yourself and your future significant other in 6 months time, well, that's pretty damn good if you ask me. Everyone is going to have their own time frame to work in though. You have to keep that in mind.

You make your own reality my friend. I know that sounds cliche'd, but until you've hit rock bottom emotionally and claw your way back up to the top, you have no idea just how true that statement is. The whole process gives you a new-found sense of self confidence you might not have known you had. And this relationship you're in now where you feel like you're stuck in with no way out? It will seem like a distant memory and will turn out to be a learning experience.

Trust me, cut the ties and start working towards a positive goal and your own personal "light bulb" moment will come along. When you have a positive outlook, positive things will happen. And when they do, keep asking yourself "How does it feel?" Keep yourself connected and in tune.

youtu.be...

Well, you can either work on the issues in your life and gradually see less problems occur. Or you can run away, put the past behind you, and hope you don't make the same mistakes you did in the past. The problem with the second option is if you weren't willing to put in the work with this relationship, do you think you'd put in the work for the next one???