reply to post by SaskGuy
From someone who's been through what you're going through I can tell you from my own experience that sometimes just up and leaving is the best thing
you can do.
How does it feel? I'm not going to sugarcoat things. It's going to hurt at first. You've been together long enough to where you have a bond with
the other person. To just suddenly cut that bond in half..............it's going to hurt. But this is only temporary as time really does heal these
types of wounds. The type of hurt you're going through right now though is going to last as long as you allow it to.
I had to leave my marriage because it was toxic for me as well. The ex didn't know it at the time, but it was toxic on that end as well. We've been
separated for 6 months now and we both feel better and communicate better with each other then we did before. We're better friends to each other then
we were spouses. When you feel good about the people you're around, you feel good. You're going to be healthier, happier and more productive with
what you need to do with your life.
And to that end, these positive vibes that I'm getting from being friends with my ex are going to carry over into the next partner I get. I'm taking
it slow, deliberate, thorough and becoming the type of person I want to attract. I've attracted them but there were three loose ends that needed to
be tied up before I could physically pursue the relationship any further. One is done, the other is just waiting for a judge to sign and the third
will come when other people open their eyes and see that I really am worth the money they would be paying out for the position they need filled. It
was strongly suggested that these three strings be tied before anything concrete happens, and as it turns out, those suggestions were right.
If I want a financially and emotionally stable partner I have to be the same and I certainly wasn't either of those when I left my previous
relationship. When you're leaving something negative and working towards something positive, 6 months can seem like a lifetime. But if you're able
to do everything you need to for yourself and your future significant other in 6 months time, well, that's pretty damn good if you ask me. Everyone
is going to have their own time frame to work in though. You have to keep that in mind.
You make your own reality my friend. I know that sounds cliche'd, but until you've hit rock bottom emotionally and claw your way back up to the top,
you have no idea just how true that statement is. The whole process gives you a new-found sense of self confidence you might not have known you had.
And this relationship you're in now where you feel like you're stuck in with no way out? It will seem like a distant memory and will turn out to be
a learning experience.
Trust me, cut the ties and start working towards a positive goal and your own personal "light bulb" moment will come along. When you have a positive
outlook, positive things will happen. And when they do, keep asking yourself "How does it feel?" Keep yourself connected and in tune.