Tips To Heal A Broken Heart.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


The cure is to find the other half and connect both into a whole. The whole is the now. The is no cure for separation.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


there is no cure for a broken heart. either it wasn't love, in which case let it go...or it was. sorry. take it from an expert. true love is forever. in the case of a broken heart - the bleeding never stops. anything else is to be less than human.

Women are in abundance here, so maybe I can get some advice.... ETA I do get a broken heart sometimes (to make this relevant), but need to explain the situation first as to why and how.

Here's the situation.

Almost five years ago, when I was 17, I randomly met a 21 year old Canadian woman on an online strategy game I use to play (which I was #1 in the world at *nerd brag*). We became strictly game friends and played together almost every night after arranging a time. However, over a few months we started shifting to a personal basis and gradually our "gaming time" turned just into "talking time" on instant messenger. We talked usually about 4 hours a night, 6 days a week even tho I was working through my undergraduate degree then and was always busy (and not 7 days a week because she went dancing each Saturday). I started caring about her...more and more and what was once a simple gaming partnership turned into a big cup of complication. She's extremely thoughtful, selfless, trusting and moral...I fell in love with her mind and spirit and our emotions became mutual at a high level. Things became too intense for a time around the end of year 1, so we went to emailing each night instead. It wasn't even until about year 2.5 that I showed her what I look like. It just never mattered and, approaching year 5, I still haven't seen her or ever pressed the issue on that (and we're not into Facebook or social sites). At this point it's irrelevant tho because what she looks like isn't what I fell in love with (she's a semi-pro latin dancer, so probably in good shape tho). That's how smitten I am and how much I trust her.

One time she had finished saving up enough and lived one of her life's dreams of touring Europe for 4 months. That time out of contact made me physically ill from worry and separation. Right now she's living with her mom and doing temp secretary jobs, after giving up on her apartment's rising cost, but now we only get to talk once a week when she goes to the library where there's internet (why I never asked to talk on the phone is below). We've made each other poems and cards for holidays for years, have nick names ("Pookie", "Deci Bear" (my name being Decimus), etc.), are writing a historical fiction novel together (lol when we get time) and I never genuinely cared so much about anyone as I do her. We've had a few unusual connections too, like a time I had a dream where I sensed her dead father...and the next day she told me she had a dream with him in it. We've influenced the other's life quite a lot too, e.g. I did salsa dancing for a while because of her - something I wouldn't have done in a thousand years otherwise. I can't explain somethings that have happened between us or how/why we care so much about the other, especially in a spiritual sense.

I'm now 22, intelligent (imo), have a master's degree and decent life, good attitude and personality, look ok except for graying hair and looking a lil young (lol contradiction there, pict), but overall I have a lot of typical things going for me and yet I've never been in any serious relationship (excluding the one mentioned above). I can't even think of any other woman in a relationship sense. One time I tried getting interested in a random girl, but felt like it meant nothing and was just a cheap imitation, so ended the "date" almost immediately.

We talked about meeting before but the timing is bad for her right now...and more importantly, upon meeting, I don't know what to expect. How does it go when two people, who have such a love for each other and know the other's whole life, meet for the first time!? I would be so lost but if we stay as we are now, until death, I could never forgive myself. It's a chess move I want to make...but have no idea how to do it or what to expect. Talking to someone on the phone, who you never physically met and can't arrange something with physically like a lunch, seems like it would be weird too so I never mention it. Am I'm even right in doing it if it's going to be so late? Or maybe this whole situation is just crazy. Anyway, it does leave me heartbroken at times...especially before going to sleep each night and thinking of her and wondering. What's your 2 cents?

Can't believe I typed this much, thanks for reading if you do.

reply to post by AthlonSavage


I did that once. It worked until I got to "casualties of war" and then it made it like a thousand times worse.

reply to post by TheLegend


Wow...what a cool story...very special and romantic, and seems the "energy" between you 2 is special Who knows in this crazy world anymore? No question bonds can be formed on-line, and it's a kinda "profound" thing because usually our attraction to another drives our motives more then it probably should, but falling in Love with someone's mind first,,,wow....if the "chemistry" ended up to be there too....how beautiful is that.....♥

p.s. sorry to the OP and the rest of the ATS community ,I let this thread get so personal....nothing logical about Love...hope this thread continues to thrive....and people get some comfort if they are heart broken....

reply to post by GogoVicMorrow


its ok i watch them in separated stated other disconnected from self. Like remote viewing a movie. What wisdom can i share...those who learned to duck survived.

reply to post by MountainLaurel

p.s. sorry to the OP and the rest of the ATS community ,I let this thread get so personal....nothing logical about Love...hope this thread continues to thrive....and people get some comfort if they are heart broken

You needed to get some things off your heartbroken heart, so it is understandable that you got personal.

I totally understood where you were coming from, and your posts were enlightening to me, and I hope to others as well.

Love is crazy, can be confusing and disappointing, as well as many other things ,yet profoundly beautiful.

Hopefully there have been many helpful posts on how to get over those disappointments, and I for one have learned by reading all of them..even the ones that were deleted.

Love can cause us pain,very deep pain at times, but it also has the incredible power to heal...and being here for each other to help get past the pain is what is great about this thread.

reply to post by MountainLaurel


Thank you. After finally sleeping tho I can't believe what I wrote...tmi.

It's a strange situation and has many unique difficulties, but I'm grateful for it having occurred and have hope it'll continue to evolve.

I didn't get to read your posts but, from responses, can maybe surmise about what may have transpired.

Acknowledging the heartache and expressing your grievance, privately or otherwise, is a healthy emotional exercise, as is finding laughter and strength in yourself. Physical exercise, like swimming, running or aerobics, is also a good physiological pick-me-up when feeling down (that's my personal favorite). Remove any mementos that remind you of him and if you ever do think of him, only remember the aspects of the relationship that made you dislike it. It's mental conditioning.

And this may be the most important and difficult advice I can give, but forgive him. He was not as evolved as yourself. If a wild animal that you just saved bites you, do not despise the animal for harming you, but realize that it has greater limitations in understanding your compassion and the situation.
This was a lesson learned from the sacrifice Jesus made for humanity and, although I'm not religious, it's one of the greatest lessons one can learn imo.

The reason two people don't make it together, or the reason for the break up, is exactly the first thing that needs to be ignored. It isn't important why you broke up.

All that's important at that point is that you did break up.

And that you realize it should stay that way, so your life doesn't become a merry go round or a revolving door. Remember the hurt you're feeling now, will only add to the happiness you find with the right person. You'll know if it's the right person because there will be no break ups or drama.

Now I feel like Jerry Springer.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


This is very left field, the soul and soul mate spend a night together in the sarcophagus of the Great Pyramid. Healing energies of the Pyramid.

Give it 20 years & you won't give a crap about anything or anyone & play Frank Sinatra - "Send in the Clowns".

Peace

Originally posted by BABYBULL24
Give it 20 years & you won't give a crap about anything or anyone & play Frank Sinatra - "Send in the Clowns".

Peace

Thanks for the chuckle..

Now where are those clowns....send in the clowns.

first dont get in a realtionship stay strong minded and stay single for at least a year in a half. if a chick comes your way naturaly try to keep it strictly friends with benefits. let the chick know that your not ready to date but your still into her and befriend her.. even if you stay in the friend zone, thats still a chick you can always talk to. girls give the best advice point blank period. this worked out for me. full proof plan.

second try and make yourself some money side money on top of your job. i do headlights restoration. i sand the headlights and buff them out. 30 minutes and you have brand new headlights. charge 20 bucks. low prices are eye candy. when you give your client his or her car back tell them to refer people and you will kick them down 5 bucks. that alone will bring in the dough. 5 cars week will put a 100 bucks in your pocket. 100 bucks you didnt have before. my 13 nephew can do all this. making your own money builds more confidents. and if your confident, guess what now youre more confident haha. im a sloppy writer haha

you only get one life, make the best out of it rather 13 or 60 its never too late or to early to just have fun. a year from now you wont even remember this post. hope this helped a little. and yes ATS my grammar is not the best but lucky for me i dont care. im just living

remember love is just another word to describe emotional attachment. so dont get attached to the skeezies out there. and wrap it up.