Tips To Heal A Broken Heart., page 1

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ATS Members have flagged this thread 12 times

Topic started on 17-10-2012 @ 07:16 PM by NoRegretsEver

There is one thing that everyone has been through and that's a break up, whether you were younger, older, or in between, one thing that kind of connects us, is having our hearts broken at least once.

I put this in health and wellness, because this isn't about relationships, but about tips that others can share on how they found a way and overcame a broken heart. It could be a song, a poem, a video, or even a comfort food, maybe an old saying, but something that helped you, of course besides time, but something that made things, well... a little easier.

I don't want to get into detail about the reason for the thread, I just want this out there, for those that don't want to start a relationship thread, or are going through something that they want to share, but don't want the give all the details, they just want a bit of help, or something that can help them through a tough time.

This could also include help for those having a crappy day, or maybe you awoke, just not feeling good, and need a little pick me up.
Thanks in advance

NRE.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:25 PM by On the level

The best way if its a relationship breakup is to spend time with your family and friends, try new things and don't try to meet someone else or have a one night stand right away as it is just empty and makes you feel worse. Stay positive and don't try to run down the previous relationship and you should be able to meet someone else. The old phrase about finding someone when you arnt looking is right on the money I got out of a terrible relationship that went on for 5 years, of which 2 where good. Didn't have any plans apart from enjoying my freedom, 6 months later went on a date and met the love of my life we are looking to get engaged before Christmas, chin up and hope you are lucky with the next one

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:27 PM by Miri08

Distraction!

Sometimes I find people look at distraction like it's a bad word or something, they tell you that you need to talk about the problem, dissect it and stick a fork in it.... lol. Well talking has it's place and everything and it's not good to keep things bottled up inside indefinitely but sometimes a good distraction is helpful.

So if you've gotten your heart broken or are just having a crap day sometimes doing things that take your mind off the source of the problem can help. For me I hang out with my cat or I go to the beach, read something, watch a movie, be silly, eat food that I know is crap but tastes soooo good.... cake, anyone? Then once you are in a better place, it's easier to talk it out.

You can also focus on other people. Help someone else, volunteer, realize that the world doesn't revolve around your problem, even though it feels that way. Do something nice for yourself. Sometimes I draw and pretend that my stick figures are good lol.

If you are going through something that's making you feel like crap I'm sorry and I hope you feel better soon.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:29 PM by Hefficide

reply to post by NoRegretsEver

Revenge sex and alcohol.

Really that's what I've got... and probably why I never quite deal with breakups super well. But it's better than nothing.

~Heff

edit on 10/17/12 by Hefficide because: (no reason given)

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:32 PM by Miri08

reply to post by Hefficide

If you add cake to the revenge, sex and alcohol I think you will have better results!

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:40 PM by lewman

unfortunatly broken hearts can last for years, even after you have given up on loving the person. I get the impression its often easier for girls as they are more comfortable talking with their freinds about things but this is obviously not always correct.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:41 PM by boymonkey74

Broken heart?
GF/wife left you?

Drink Booze the only cure

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:41 PM by FissionSurplus

I find that getting out in nature and listening to my favorite music tend to help me out a lot. Back when I was single, a broken heart would mean getting wasted and jumping on the first willing gentleman I found (not too difficult to find a willing guy and alcohol in the same place). But that would leave me feeling kinda gross and hung-over to boot.

Due to my Asperger's, when I'm really upset, I cannot deal with anybody. I literally shut down and go far away mentally. There is something about being alone in nature, and listening to music, that grounds me and helps me to accept what has happened. I do a lot of thinking, a lot of talking to myself, and a lot of rocking out to songs that make me feel stronger than I actually am.

As soon as I get over the initial shock, I also like to watch funny things that make me laugh.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:50 PM by Katharos62191

reply to post by NoRegretsEver

Anyone have tips on how to get over a 4+ year relationship, when you don't drink, and aren't necessarily secure enough to have revenge sex lol. Distraction has worked well, but it only goes so far when everything reminds you of something you used to do with someone else? Anyone have tips on how to get security back after being left for basically a younger, hotter version of yourself? Lol.. Will it just take til you find someone else? What if I want to live a fulfilled life without a relationship? Any tips would be welcomed and appreciated..

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:56 PM by FissionSurplus

reply to post by Katharos62191

It happened to me as well, long ago. It is a very difficult thing to get your confidence back after being kicked in the teeth and thrown under the bus. I dated a lot, but most of it was just a distraction.

The best thing you can do is work on yourself by abandoning your ego and literally giving yourself over to something else: A charity, helping a friend or a neighbor in need, or even volunteering for hospice or animal shelter work. Completely take yourself out of your own mind, and concentrate on helping others.

Not only will you become a better person, but your inner beauty will shine through.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:58 PM by DarkKnight21

Originally posted by Miri08
reply to post by Hefficide

If you add cake to the revenge, sex and alcohol I think you will have better results!

I like cake too. This cover song helps me get through all my break-ups.

YouTube Link

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 07:59 PM by Komonazmuk

tippy tap something new.

NSA ftw

edit on 17-10-2012 by Komonazmuk because: (no reason given)

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:00 PM by BlastedCaddy

reply to post by NoRegretsEver

Random meaningless protected sex.
Sex.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:04 PM by Miri08

reply to post by Katharos62191

It's hard but try not to let other people affect your self esteem. I still sometimes do but it helps to tell yourself that your worth doesn't depend on anyone's opinion of you.

I saw your post in the pets thread, the pictures of you with your doggies. I hope you don't mind me saying that you are a beautiful person and you obviously have a beautiful heart with all the love you have for your doggie family! If someone left you for a "younger, hotter version" too bad for THEM - they lose you but you haven't lost who YOU are.

I don't really have any other advice but wanted to write that

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:05 PM by Miri08

reply to post by DarkKnight21

Eating cake while listening to Cake would heal all lol...

I can't give up on my cake advice, I have a killer craving.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:14 PM by Katharos62191

Thank you so much for the kind words and advice, FissionSurplus and Miri08!

FissionSurplus, it's funny you mentioned getting myself into something like an Animal Shelter, that's been a huge part of what's helped me volunteering recently, and it's something I really could dive into and I know it would help.
I am sorry you have been through what I have as well, it is no fun. I also liked what you said earlier about music, music helps me a lot.

Miri08, no I don't mind you saying that! And I thank you so much for doing so! I really do just need to let go of my ego and get that attitude and the 'too bad for them' mindset. I believe that will help when I stop letting my insecurities get to me. Like FissionSurplus said, and you saw, I most likely will pursue something more with animals to help take me mind off stuff.
Dogs are always loyal to me

Both of yalls advice really helps and I thank you two for taking the time to even listen to me and give me some advice. Sometimes it's the little things that's help.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:17 PM by the2010apprentice

reply to post by Katharos62191

Im also going through a bad break up , its been 5 months now since we were together.
The relationship was 5+ years and i really miss the girl.
On the contrary i really shouldnt miss her and be glad to be away as it was one hell of a ride...
Domestic abuse sucks .... and being a guy it sucks even more as we're meant to be above all that stuff ....
.....apparently
I was beat up by 8 of her friends for over 7 hours... getting choked out and losing consciousness over 5 - 10 times , head buried in sand.... threatened with knives , tried to break my legs.... endless list here.... all because she made a lie up about me that i pushed her down a hill .... which hand on heart i did not do! all lies !

i took her to portugal (for her birthday aswell).... she tried to lie in the middle of a road to get run over and i saved her.... she beat me for hours for that.... i would never lift a hand to a female....
I had cars driven at me to run me down because she was angry about a load of nothing....
i witnessed her take an overdose of prescription depression tablets.... i had to hope she was ok...
she wanted to become a nurse so everything she did to both me and herself , i had to hide for 'our' future together.
She threw a mini motorcycle at me.... beat me with an iron and chased me for hours around the house with it... smacked me all over... i couldnt start my fitness refime as i was unable to do a single press up as my wrist was so badly damaged.... the doctor laughed when i told her what happened... what the heck....
i lied to police a second time she tried to get herself run over by a car... and almost spent 5 days in jail for lying to police and ambulance as they said it was a domestic and we would both be in jail over the long weekend until seen before a judge on the tuesday... this happened on the thusday.
I had a piranha fish tank kicked and smashed because she was in a rage....
I was smashed over the head and ear many times with stilleto heels
face ripped apart by her nails...
smashed over the eye and head with a bottle of kalembu mamajuana after 2 weeks in the caribbean...
almost died as she hit a major artery... almost blinded also.....
saved her life after she tried to jump down her parents stairs from top to bottom head first... i saved her only by one ankle luckily.... she beat me for 4 hours for saving her.....
didnt call police or ambulance yet again as she wanted to become a nurse and i was looking for her and my future... 'our' future .
As all of these events happen she has massive black pupils... foams at the mouth , and makes loud shrieks!!
bi polar and schizophrenia also runs in her family.
She was banned from my parents house for a long time for many loud abusive outbursts in the house and on the street!!
Shes actually a carer for the elderly aswell!!! what the heck.... cares for them but beat me senseless...
cheated on me 5 - 10 times.... broke my livelihood as i am an it technician with my own business ...broke over 10 of my laptops by putting them in a fishtank and bath and using a screwdriver on them... then blames me for not bringing money in that month!!
The list is honestly endless......
I feel bad with all this ... and i feel even worse i never did anything legally about it at the time and got her the help she needed... i just felt so much shame as i am a guy and she is a female.... meant to be able to handle it and all that!!!

I 'STILL' miss her though and i feel so alone now..... i am 26 and it feels i have no body really as she pulled me away from my friends , now they all have lives of their own.....
It hurts real bad to think about all this....

It sure has been a dilmena to say the least.....

Feels like i am in a state of stockholm syndrome.... the good times were real good.... but the bad times were unbelievably bad!!! she is also beautiful on the outside which plays a big part of my pain....

I would always protect her at all costs... I feel so silly now , but cant get my head around all of the above.

I gave her my heart and wholeness and she always threw it right back with violence , weapons and promiscuity.

How do i get past 'this' ???? I'll tell you one thing.....

Its extremely difficult...... i dont have anyone now it seems

edit on 17-10-2012 by the2010apprentice because: spelling error

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:21 PM by freedomSlave

There is no magical cure sure you can drink your face off but what about when one wakes up life still carries on there is nothing but time also not dwelling on it helps get on with your life.

Pick up a new hobby sitting around thinking about what could of been or poor me doesn't do nothing except to gain sympathy from some people . Frankly I see no point in this kinda threads aside from playing the poor me angle.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:27 PM by FissionSurplus

reply to post by the2010apprentice

Good grief, dude! You are obviously battered, abused, and are an enabler.

You enabled that crazy girl to depths that almost nobody else would do. Pretty on the outside is nothing if there is only ugliness on the inside.

An abusive relationship takes two people. The best thing that ever happened to you was that girl exited out of your life. Because you enabled her insanity, I can only suggest counseling as a way to tear the veil from your eyes, so you can see just how bad it was, and how you are confusing co-dependency with actual love.

Best of luck to you.

reply posted on 17-10-2012 @ 08:36 PM by Advantage

Get up at about 5 each morning. Difficult demanding workout routines. Running until you puke... and run some more. Violent physical contact sports. Ive been doing that for about 20 years... keeps me sane. For once Im dead serious.You push yourself and ramp up your expectations of yourself.. you have no worries. Your self esteem and confidence will be fine.

Or if you dont like to get off the couch much, drink until you puke then drink some more... plus a lot of sport sex. Go to a parking lot, drive around in circles with your window down middle finger up screaming I DONT GIVE A F... oh wait, thats a song. Watch some cheech and chong. A marathon.

I was told today that you CANT be in a bad mood if you listen to that LMFAO song Shots. All it makes me want to do is drink and get rowdy... so there may be some correlation between drinking and happiness.