I'm going to confine these comments to the OP, I'll be back with more for another who's really got it coming to him.
For the OP I'm going to go a bit easier because at least he acknowledges men's roles in this (or the lack there of).
He does need a bit of wisdom though - let's get started, shall we?
From the OP ~
As a man who had a childhood with his mother absent I KNOW what a curse it is to be deprived of the affection of one's mother through
childhood and how that can have very dangerous and severe repercussions in adult life. These poor kids of non-working single mothers atleast have
their mothers there for them, to make some kind of human adult in the future.
You BLAME these women for doing this? Your blame is misplaced. I tell you none of these women actually want their lives to be like that. We all want a
stable partner and an income that can allow us to aspire to the greater things in life. The reality of life and society is that not everyone can have
I take it you're a grown man. Whattaya whining for your Mommy for now?
The world is too full of Mama's Boys - suck it up soldier and be a
man. You could consider yourself lucky
that you were introduced to the hard, cold realities of life when young.
Now you don't say *why* your mother was absent - I'll assume she was out working. You do realize, yes, that she was doing this FOR YOU. Love is not
all kisses and cutesy poo - if she was out working to put a roof over your head and food in your belly - you ought to get down on your knees and kiss
her feet in gratitude. You got a helluva lot more that many get.
I believe your anger at women
and your lament of lack of affection is misplaced, also. Where the hell was your father? If anyone is to blame -
perhaps it is him.
Let's say for the sake of argument that both of your parents were 'there' and they simply both worked. Maybe they did this to make a better life
ALL of my relatives worked their asses off to provide for us a nice life. Male, female, even the elderly - my immigrant Nana who barely spoke English
was out busting her ass in a factory to bring in more money. Do I have an anger towards these people? HELL NO! I ADMIRE
them and I always did!
I got a damned good work ethic out of it, too.
I'll tell you who decided to STOP working - my father. Why? He fell in love with booze. And drugs. And then took up with a whore. Did Mom give him
the heave ho? You bet your sweet ass she did and good riddance to the loser. He was in no way a loser when she married him, either.
Did she go on welfare? Hell NO - she went to WORK! I am damn glad of it too - like she always said, the few times I lamented the lack of a
stereotypical family - I couldn't have that around you kids. EXACTLY.
Who was at fault here? HE WAS. He CHOSE to empty the booze down his throat and the drugs into his veins. He *chose that* over his family. Good
Expletive Riddance! I have no use for this turd of an excuse of a waste of flesh and when he dies I will not even expend the energy to spit on his
Am I angry that my Mom "wasn't there"? NO! I admire her guts and determination. And she was there *enough*.
I have a perfectly good relationship with her. Do I feel like I missed anything? NO. I feel I GAINED a great deal by having an educated and determined
Did she latch onto another man and start pumping out more kids? NO. And that is why I agree with all the sentiments posted in the thread you're
rebutting here -
IF YOU CAN'T FEED 'EM - DON'T BREED 'EM.
ESPECIALLY the welfare leeches who are doing it *on purpose*. As for those who wind up single mothers due to circumstances beyond their control - 1)
you go after that man for child support. 2) if that's not enough to live on - you seek money for work training in a divorce.
If neither of these things are possible - you get your ass out there and you WORK anyway! My Mom did - and my "father" paid not one damn dime in
support. NOT ONE. He sure had money for booze and drugs - and- making more kids though. (He abandoned them also.)
Let's put the blame where it belongs. And let's stop making things easy for people just because they didn't think things through carefully. You
screwed up? You *suck it up* and deal with it. It's not society's mess - it is YOUR mess to fix.
No more free rides for fools. I don't even believe in free rides for victims of circumstance. Sick, disabled - SURE.
Bad luck, partner turns into a jerk - at most - they should get some aid for job training.
We need to stop promoting weakness. Kids need to be toughened up - not coddled *more*
I don't mean to direct any undue harshness at you, OP. I believe you are just confused. You need to run yourself a reality check - nothing can be
done to change *your* past. But *you* can change how you look at it. And perhaps let it go and move on.