How to Avoid Rape...in a Rape Approving Society

There's a pamphlet circulating from a college in Sacramento CA about helping women to "avoid rape". The pamphlet makes it clear what women should and should not do if they desire to avoid a rape.

Communicate your limits as clearly as possible. If someone starts to offend you, tell him early and firmly. Being polite is all right, as long as you are firm and assertive. Say "no" when you mean "no" and be prepared to repeat it.

Be assertive. Often, men interpret passivity as permission. Be direct and firm with someone who is pressuring you.

Dress comfortably. Dressing provocatively is interpreted differently by different people. Make sure the image you project is the image you WANT to project.

Pay attention to your surroundings. Watch body and facial language of those around you. Do not put yourself in vulnerable situations. Look to your sides and in back of you, not just in front of you.

I don't have a link to the pamphlet PDF, only a screenshot from the individual who picked it up, as well as a link to the Facebook page where this was posted. The college is American River College in San Diego CA. I couldn't find a direct link to this pamphlet (though as a person who works in a college, not being able to find information on a college website is not surprising).

"Women" Pamphlet with Commentary on Facebook

Reiteration: this information was provided via Facebook, via an unapologetic feminist group, with their own commentary. I am not a subscriber to this particular Facebook group. I received this information through an acquaintance.

MY THOUGHTS:

The pamphlet is trying to disseminate specific information that a woman should follow to avoid being raped.

The assumption is that the signals, behaviors and dress code that are talked about in this pamphlet are triggers for the apparent inherent raping behavior in men, and that a woman should accept the consequences of not following this advice against rape, and therefore be complicit in any rape that happens.

I ask:

1) Are these signals, as discussed in this flyer, truly triggers for the rapist behavior in men? That is what the flyer states. Is that true?

2) If yes to the above, then how do we deal with the influx of societal pressures that encourage women to behave in this way. Television shows, movies and ads clearly promote the feminine ideal as the "slutty sexpot" (with the virgin mary making a brief appearance for wives, daughters and mothers).

3) If the above is acknowledged, is there a companion position that will help to educate men about how to quell the inherent raping behavior in themselves, should they encounter these signals, which are both biological and societal?

If anyone comes across a pamphlet/page/discussion that provides advice to men about avoiding rape could you please alert me so I can link it in this thread for a counter-balance.

reply to post by otherpotato


jk...
The answers are: 1.yes 2.solid parenting and then all u can do is hope. although the standard for solid has been lowered significantly over the years.3. self control and a penchant for NOT being a predator. the pursuit of a single partner to enter in to a monogamous relationship with so you can do it whenever you want, as long as you both want to get down that way...

reply to post by otherpotato


some guys like me are not the type, but come on... (no pun)
We want sex always, didn't we hand out out the pamphlet?

At least you know what we want..

I havn't done anything in 3 days (girlfriend being boring) and I am questioning my very sanity. Seriously.

Its kinda a troll topic (not saying you are trolling). But the thing about dressing provocatively is a slippery slope. Yes a woman has the right to dress however she wants and no it is not an invitation to be hit on or raped but, if you dress like a hooker and walk around a bad neighborhood at night alone should you really be surprised if people treat you like a hooker?
I have the "right" to leave all my cash on my lawn but is that an invitation to steal it? Should I really be surprised if someone takes it?
I have the "right" to do black face in the ghetto, is that an invitation for an ass kicking?

Common sense is the best way to avoid most bad situations.

reply to post by Superhans


Like that Dave chapelle skit...

"The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is #ing confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform."

reply to post by otherpotato


The first and main trigger is opportunity. If a person has NO opportunity to rape another, then...there will be no rape. The most provocatively dressed person on Earth, who pays zero attention to the actions of others, cannot be raped if there is no opportunity for it to occur.

Anything else is secondary.

Don't be in a position where you can get jumped, basically. The only thing on that list that makes sense to me is "pay attention" as in, hey don't walk down that long dark alleyway alone, you don't have full line of sight and someone could be in the shadows.

Clothes? They're gonna rape you no matter what clothes you're wearing.

Communicate your limits as clearly as possible. If someone starts to offend you, tell him early and firmly. Being polite is all right, as long as you are firm and assertive. Say "no" when you mean "no" and be prepared to repeat it.

Well this is not the case in every state. In some states once it is in with consent the victim can't say "no" and then have it be called "rape". But this point is retarded because of the "be prepared to repeat it" part, if you have to keep repeating it chances are you are being raped and saying "no" one more time is not going to make him stop.

Be assertive. Often, men interpret passivity as permission. Be direct and firm with someone who is pressuring you.

This is stupid. When I put X in her X,Y or Z and she is passive about it, yeah...That is permission in my book.

Dress comfortably. Dressing provocatively is interpreted differently by different people. Make sure the image you project is the image you WANT to project.

Yeah that kind of makes sense to a degree, but a rapist will rape what he wants in the end.

Pay attention to your surroundings. Watch body and facial language of those around you. Do not put yourself in vulnerable situations. Look to your sides and in back of you, not just in front of you.

Watch body and facial language? This is the same kind of stupid crap I see in the survival forum, like someone watched 3 seasons of the mentalist and thinks they are some kind of expert or stupid crap. Here is a tip, that guy running towards you with an erection and a rope will probably not ASK you for anything.

Maybe they should hand out leaflets to men on how important it is to respect other people and not rape them

By placing the blame on silly things such as how a woman dresses your effectively lessening the responcibiliy of the mans actions - which is retarded because he's the one comitting the crime

Whereas i do fully agree there are women who leave the house in just their underwear, in a "civilized" society - the kind that we claim to exist in - rape shouldn't really be a problem.

My only fear is that attitudes to rape are changing and as if we adopt the notion that somehow the victim is to blame then we might as well start rolling back the years to the ages of total ignorance.

reply to post by Superhans


So you're saying if I get trolled I was "asking for it"?

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.... )



I understand what you're saying, because that's exactly what the pamphlet says, and it's the same argument that's used all the time. But there's a mixed message here as I stated before:

how do we deal with the influx of societal pressures that encourage women to behave in this way. Television shows, movies and ads clearly promote the feminine ideal as the "slutty sexpot"

You can't deny that this expectation and encouragement exists, it's everywhere. This is what I mean by a rape approving society. There's a cultural expectation set that women should behave this way, and yet somehow there's also an expectation that women need to shoulder the blame for the consequences of behaving in that way. Isn't that a tad contradictory?

This is what I take issue with.

I disagree with all of that. If a rapist rapes a woman, it is because he is a rapist, not because she is dressed inappropriately. There are actual ways of preventing rape. Such as taking self defense classes and carrying mace; having some kind of weapons training and carrying said weapon; not walking alone at night in poorly lit, unpopulated areas; behaving in an alert, unharrassed manner; and being prepared (and i mean really prepared, like you know where to hit/stab and how to escape, not just YEAH I'M READY TO BRAWWWWL) to fight for your life if you have to. In fact, those are generally good ways of minimising the effect of violent crime of all sorts.

This kind of thing is disgusting to me, because it tells men that they are all rapists waiting to happen. That is insulting to all men, and guys you should be offended that your entire sex has been reduced to knuckle dragging cavemen who have such low impulse control that you cannot literally cannot prevent yourself from committing a violent crime against a woman simply because she's wearing a tank top.

Did the pamphlet mention concealed carry?

The guy would only try it once.

CX.

Sure.

Let's teach women to be suspicious of all men, cause we are all rapists if given the opportunity right?

Nonsense.

Rape approving society?

Oh yes, let's educate ALL men on how not to be rapists, cause none of us have figured out for ourselves that violent sexual behavior is bad right?

I see the Misandry movement is alive and well.

The ideas and thoughts presented here are startling.

~Tenth

So, the whole flier can be distilled down to two words, "situational awareness"?
Huh, I guess Col. J. Cooper was right.
Again...

do you guys/gals ever think men and some women will asend past this rather barbaric past time if you will?

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
Sure.

Let's teach women to be suspicious of all men, cause we are all rapists if given the opportunity right?

Nonsense.

Rape approving society?

Oh yes, let's educate ALL men on how not to be rapists, cause none of us have figured out for ourselves that violent sexual behavior is bad right?

I see the Misandry movement is alive and well.

The ideas and thoughts presented here are startling.

~Tenth

edit on 9/13/2012 by tothetenthpower because: (no reason given)

Lol, its now classed as misandry to hand out leaflets informing men that rape, i.e non consensual sex, is breaking the law? But hey, its not insulting at all to tell women to cover themselves up and stop dressing provocatively because apparently, you guys cant help yourselves! The leaflets seems to be suggesting that women are at fault for merely being in those situations.

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
Sure.

Let's teach women to be suspicious of all men, cause we are all rapists if given the opportunity right?

Nonsense.

Rape approving society?

Oh yes, let's educate ALL men on how not to be rapists, cause none of us have figured out for ourselves that violent sexual behavior is bad right?

I see the Misandry movement is alive and well.

The ideas and thoughts presented here are startling.

~Tenth

edit on 9/13/2012 by tothetenthpower because: (no reason given)

Let me again explain my point:

The pamphlet (and many other sources) state(s) that women who dress provocatively risk rape. So there is an assumption that provocative dress and rape are linked.

Provocative dress is encouraged in women. It is encouraged from the time women are young through Barbie, Monster High and Bratz Dolls, through advertising, through television shows, through glorified slut celebrities, through "Girls Gone Wild" videos... the list is endless.

So explain to me how I got this "rape culture" statement wrong.

"Ladies, dress provocatively and you could get raped"

"Ladies, dress provocatively."

This has nothing to do with misandry. I believe men are just as much the victims of this line of thinking. I would venture to guess there is a whole lot of date rape that is the direct result of this type of message.

Most rapists are not "monsters." They are average men who would never have believed they were capable of what they did had you asked them before it happened.

And most "sluts" are not that way because they genuinely enjoy it. They were brought up to believe that their function in life is to be a pretty toy for men.

This is an equal opportunity issue - and a very big problem in my mind. Why not talk honestly about it instead of getting defensive.

It used to be women carried around mace to spray in the face of attackers, but now if a woman pepper sprayed a rapist she would probably be charged with assault.

You know what, screw the mace, a real woman from a bygone era would just slap the man upside his face, but now violence is wrong, so we have to kindly plead with a potential rapist.