Why in the hell do we make friends ?

It only sucks in the end.
Back in June I lost the best friend I've ever known. A tremendous human being and a chick magnet to boot. I separated from my wife and this vagabond took me in and he didn't know me from Adam. I was devastated for quite some time after word but this guy got me going and again and is the only reason I'm here today. Sorry for the early post peeps but I'm so friggen upset at the loss of another good friend to cancer just last night.
This year has been quite a test for me. I'm sorry for trying to post with such a broken heart. Forgive me .

Alright regrouped. Back to full fill my obligado. Now I have another funeral to attend. Long time friend since high school died of cancer just last night. Right now all I know is this is exactly why I don't have pets. But thanks to my wife and her daughter we do have pets.
I just have a hard time bearing the loss. So why even have friends when it sucks so bad in the end ?

Invisible friends?

I hate hitting enter on accident!!!

ETA - I am not sure if you are using "lost" as in he passed or "lost" as in falling out. If it is the former, you have my deepest sympathies because that indeed does hurt...tremendously.

We have friends so we can share our lives with others and they can share their lives with us. The good memories generally outweigh the bad when things happen such as death or a falling out. We learn from everyone. Sometimes we have them only for a short time, other times we are blessed with more time. Who knows why that is? We will have answers one day....but for now, it does make it harder to cope with.

reply to post by randyvs


Because we are idiots..?

No but seriously, I think we make friends because being alone is not cool. People like to share, compare and need someone to talk to.

Why do some friendships last a lifetime ..and why some not...?

reply to post by randyvs




we make friends because we see like minded people that have an outlook on life that we admire.. or have qualities that make us smile, laugh, and forget about the troubles of the world that we can sometimes do little about.

To talk to during those boring days and times when we need them.

I don't think it's up to us really...

I think we're just attracted to people based on the waves we tend to surf --- waves, frequencies... whatever it is that attracts us to each other!

When we meet people, we seem to get along/appear to be on the same wave - and voilà ---- we're buds... unless we have trust issues---then we don't seem to allow friendships to even happen, which brings me to making a moot point!

never mind..you changed it

Originally posted by randyvs
It only sucks in the end.
Back in June I lost the best friend I've ever known. A tremendous human being and a chick magnet to boot. I separated from my wife and this vagabond took me in and he didn't know me from Adam. I was devastated for quite some time after word

edit on 20-8-2012 by randyvs because: (no reason given)

Caring for someone means grieving when you lose them...but the joy and good times you had together, are worth it..are they not?

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your friend..and my sincere condolences to you. The grieving of a loss is always the hardest part of a friendship.

Originally posted by randyvs
It only sucks in the end.
Back in June I lost the best friend I've ever known. A tremendous human being and a chick magnet to boot. I separated from my wife and this vagabond took me in and he didn't know me from Adam. I was devastated for quite some time after word but this guy got me going and again and is the only reason I'm here today. Sorry for the early post peeps but I'm so friggen upset at the loss of another good friend to cancer just last night.
This year has been quite a test for me. I'm sorry for trying to post with such a broken heart. Forgive me .

edit on 20-8-2012 by randyvs because: (no reason given)

A long time ago (in a land not too far away, lol) I used to have friends that I respected so much that I would have taken a bullet for them. One by one, and in one way or another, they all revealed their a$$holiness.

I just don't do 'friends' anymore.

i]Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by randyvs


I just don't do 'friends' anymore.

I'm feeling you man.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds

caring for someone means grieving when you lose them...but the joy and good times you had together, are worth it..are they not?

I'm just not sure of that anymore.

Originally posted by randyvs
reply to post by WhisperingWinds

 

caring for someone means grieving when you lose them...but the joy and good times you had together, are worth it..are they not?

I'm just not sure of that anymore.

That is just how you are feeling for now, because the pain hurts.

Caring for people and making friends is always worth it , but with caring always comes some sort of sorrow because you do care.

It will get better .... and you will feel differently.

My opinion, for what it's worth is that it's sort of why we're human, it's an intrinsic trait to seek out and befriend other people with similar outlook and interests. I think it's more of an imperative when you're younger. Maybe as animals back in the wild it was/is a biological advantage to have more pairs of eyes looking out for large hungry predators.

I have found in life though that as we age it becomes less important. Family seems to take over, not just in terms of the place you get your emotional support and happiness from but also it eats up all your time.

Hey ho, life would be pretty dull without other people so best to keep a few around. Or take up knitting i guess.

Originally posted by randyvs
i]Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by randyvs


I just don't do 'friends' anymore.

I'm feeling you man.

edit on 20-8-2012 by randyvs because: (no reason given)

Thanks, and back at ya!

I'm not alone though. I have lots of acquaintances. Only, I let them into my head, but not my heart.

reply to post by randyvs


Randy... with life comes our mortality. It simply cannot be avoided. As a man of 65 years, I've seen a full share of tragedy and it is never easy to take. It doesn't matter whether it's a great friend, a sibling, parent or pet, the result is a deep feeling of loss for those we love the most in our lives. The grief we feel lasts much longer than is really good for us, I can attest to that myself.

If you feel like you're welling up when you think of your friend, that means you are a complete human being and not a sociopath. It means you care, which is the most fundamental requirement toward spiritual health. When you are able to weep over having to put down a pet or even feel empathy for (ie) a bird your cat has killed and left at your back door, then you are displaying what it truly means to be human.

Each individual person or pet that I have lost over my already long life regularly comes back to me in my thoughts. They are never forgotten... none of them. Because of that, they are never completely gone from me. I see my dog Boris and his happy antics, my parents and their love for each other, my uncles and cousins and how they looked and acted... all of them gone many years. I see my big black tomcat Pert and how much he trusted me in everything right up until the moment the needle slipped into his foreleg while I held him in my arms at the vet. He was dying of liver cancer and there was no hope.

Right now, my eyes are tearing up just thinking about that wonderful animal. I loved him so much.

It's THAT feeling you should hold close in those moments when you're alone. Let it wash over you. Let the love of your lost friend cut you deep and then, tomorrow, look for someone else to love just as much as you did him.

Your friend would be proud to know that you do.

reply to post by Hopeforeveryone

Hey ho, life would be pretty dull without other people so best to keep a few around. Or take up knitting i guess.

Great post. I was thinking more along the lines of under water basket weaving.

reply to post by masqua


Masqua it's pouring here right now and there isn't a cloud in the whole of the sky over me. Thanks for your help in washing out this horrible feeling. Great great words indeed.



I'm a mess.

Originally posted by randyvs
I'm a mess.

I understand because I know how you feel.

Thanks for that CCR tune. I sang the whole song through and now I'm smiling.

reply to post by randyvs


Thanks Randyvs, i was probably looking at things a bit too scientifically. Sorry to hear about your loss. It's like Masqua said, it proves you're a decent human and that you actually have empathy to feel the way you do. Loss is one of the hardest things to deal with, my sympathies again.

Just don't close yourself off completely from others. There will always be pain and sufering, but there is also joy and laughter to be shared and experienced. My deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear friend. HUGS!