Saw something that disturbed me today...

I work in a big city downtown, and I saw something today that made me lose faith in man just a little bit, myself included.

So I was outside having a cigarette on break, and a man approached me and asked if I had any change. I said no I am sorry, and that was true, I had no cash at all on me. So then he asked if I had a cigarette. I had a pack in my pocket, but I lied and said no. He looked at me with a kind of crazy eye and said "you have a nice fourth, man", and turned away. There are a lot of homeless in the area, and I get asked for money, and then cigarettes, three or four times a week I'd say, so I didn't feel too bad about it.

Right in front of where I was standing there is a button to cross the main street right there. The guy pressed it and waited for the traffic to stop. He turned around and looked at me and said, "It's not my fault. I'm gonna go F-word one of these homeless n-words." and then when the light turned he walked across the street, stumbling, I assume drunk. There were a lot of people out because the downtown firework show was about to start further down the road and a lot of people were walking that way. I watched him ask a few more people for money as he walked down the other side of the road without any luck. And then he came to a bench in front of a gas station and there was a homeless man lying there and he proceeded to just start beating the hell out of the guy. Standing overhand punches on a guy lying on a bench. Luckily, the store's security ran out and tackled the guy and held him until the cops arrived not even a minute later and subdued him. He screamed and threatened the entire time. The police arrested him and the guy on the bench appeared to be OK.

I guess it just got to me because maybe if I'd just given him a cigarette, he wouldn't have beat that poor man. I mean that's a stretch sure, but maybe it would have calmed him down, I don't know.
And whose to say if I had, he would have just smoked it first, and beat him up anyway because really all we wanted was to get arrested so he'd have somewhere to sleep out of the sweltering heat and something to eat.

And I think that's worth thinking about.. I don't know what it was all about, but I'm still thinking about it, so I thought I would share.

Thought provoking and disturbing. a reverse Butterfly-Effect? 6.66 degrees of separation?
This hits a nerve!

It's a tough call when dealing with the homeless, as you never know are they going to buy booze or drugs with the couple quid you gave them.

There was a Falklands vet sitting outside mc donalds asking for change instead of giving him change I went inside and bought him a 99p burger and a coffee.

If seeing homless people don't break your heart your not human.

Hey there mate, dont beat yourself up over this. welcome to the human;race.

Double post sorry

thats messed up man... But dont feel bad about it, if he hadnt beat him up today, he had beat some other poor soul up... And yes was probably because he wanted a place to sleep and eat...

Originally posted by JayDub113

I guess it just got to me because maybe if I'd just given him a cigarette, he wouldn't have beat that poor man.

I doubt it.

Hard to tell for sure, but I am under the impression that he was somewhat calm, when he said, "I'm gonna go #%@& one of these #%@&." Was he calm, or was he irate?

Doesn't really matter much though. It takes a certain type of weak minded person, in order to be capable of beating up a stranger while they're lying down. So even if it was you that 'pushed him over the edge', it still wouldn't actually be your fault. Even if he did have smoke in his lungs, he'd still be #%@&ed in the head.

Sounds like half the guys I went to jobcorps with.

His family didn't raise him right.

That is all this amounts to

reply to post by JayDub113


Bad situation

I work with the homeless both in my professional and volunteer life and it does get old; the panhandling I mean..

As a rule I keep a pack of Generics in my car to give out, but I do now frequently get swarmed as they know I have them and will give them out.. Little enough I suppose..

You are not at fault for anyone's actions apart from your own my friend

Semper

reply to post by BrokenCircles


I agree, and that's how I saw it.. I can't help he is crazy..

But yes he was completely calm. He had a wild look in his eye, but I didn't expect that.

I would treat this situation like I treat most any encounters.
Doesn't have to be homeless or a drunk, just any person.

Don't blame yourself for another persons actions/mistakes.

They make choices everyday just like you and I.
Their choices dictate what kind of life they live (just like you and I).
That person chose to be cruel and will get handled accordingly.
Things work out that way in this world.

I doubt that cigarette would've changed things.
Also, I'm not so sure I'd get hung up on it too.
There are going to be times where you just have to say "No."
Once they know they can take advantage of you, they will.
So why give them that chance? Pity? Nah!
I don't have pity for drunks and drug addicts.

Which is the exact reason why I don't give out money or anything like that anymore.
You give an inch, they take a mile.

So don't give that inch.

You shouldn't feel bad about what he did. His actions were his choice. But if it were me, I would have felt bad if I didn't give the man a smoke or some change if I could spare it, but that's just me. I would have really felt bad if I lied to the guy about it. If I don't give somebody something, no loss to either of us. If I lied to him, I would have been less than the man I believe myself to be. But, that's just me.

Personally, I'd have given the guy a cigarette. What is it for someone working to share with the mentally ill?

Sometimes a little goes a long way.

Yes, you may have triggered his rage. He didn't get what he wanted.

Either way, he is mentally ill. Until he gets help for that he will continue to victimize.

I should add that he's basically a bully and either way he may have beaten that man.

reply to post by JayDub113

Originally posted by JayDub113

But yes he was completely calm......

I thought that was what you meant. Personally, I think that one little detail is just that much more of a reason for you to not let it bother you.

It's possible that some of his intention was to make you feel bad, but if that's the type of person he is, then he doesn't deserve any handouts anyways.





reply to post by aaaiii

Originally posted by aaaiii

Personally, I'd have given the guy a cigarette. What is it for someone working to share with the mentally ill?

Sometimes a little goes a long way.

Limitations are a necessity. You can only feed the strays so much before they become dependent upon you, and begin to feel that it is your duty, and that you are obligated to feed them.






reply to post by VictorVonDoom

Originally posted by VictorVonDoom

You shouldn't feel bad about what he did. His actions were his choice. But if it were me, I would have felt bad if I didn't give the man a smoke or some change if I could spare it, but that's just me. I would have really felt bad if I lied to the guy about it. If I don't give somebody something, no loss to either of us. If I lied to him, I would have been less than the man I believe myself to be. But, that's just me.

That's a bit odd. You basically made a complete 180° turn, and headed back the opposite direction. By the time you reached the end of the paragraph, you completely contradicted what you had said in the beginning of it.

reply to post by BrokenCircles

Yeah, it would be terrible if you got to talking to a homeless guy.

Funny, we adopt pets from shelters, throw crumbs to the birds, but when it comes to our own species, that's when it gets a little weird.

reply to post by aaaiii


I guess that's it. Not even the cigarette, but just hey guy how's your fourth of July? Doing OK? you know.. I so wanna blame the world for being "the world" but that could have made a difference. We are so engrained not to.

I dont think it was you. I think you are right when you say he did it on purpose to get into prison to get fed and out of the heat.

Could you imagine not having a decent meal or bed to sleep on with your life falling apart? Prison would probably seem like a good deal.

Especially in the UK where they have PS3's, LCD TV's and a choice ofrom 5 different main courses per day.

£40,000 a year to keep 1 inmate...

Originally posted by aaaiii

Yeah, it would be terrible if you got to talking to a homeless guy.

Funny, we adopt pets from shelters, throw crumbs to the birds, but when it comes to our own species, that's when it gets a little weird.

lol. You haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. You know nothing about me.

'Homeless' is not a different type of person. Anyone anywhere at any time, is capable of losing everything they know, but they still remain that same person.

There are many people who won't hesitate to take advantage of someone who wants to help, and is just being nice. ↑That is the reason for limitations being necessary.

Originally posted by JayDub113

.......and I saw something today that made me lose faith in man just a little bit, myself included.

[color=A8F1FF]"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

[color=7DCFFF]Mahatna Gandhi

reply to post by jrmcleod

Originally posted by jrmcleod

Could you imagine not having a decent meal or bed to sleep on with your life falling apart? Prison would probably seem like a good deal.

I have no idea what city the OP is referring to, but that doesn't really matter. If this was downtown in a big city, there are much better options. There is a food bank(s) and/or community kitchen(s), somewhere around there. After swallowing one's pride, food becomes much easier to find.

Originally posted by JayDub113

I work in a big city downtown.......

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
]reply to post by VictorVonDoom

Originally posted by VictorVonDoom

You shouldn't feel bad about what he did. His actions were his choice. But if it were me, I would have felt bad if I didn't give the man a smoke or some change if I could spare it, but that's just me. I would have really felt bad if I lied to the guy about it. If I don't give somebody something, no loss to either of us. If I lied to him, I would have been less than the man I believe myself to be. But, that's just me.

That's a bit odd. You basically made a complete 180° turn, and headed back the opposite direction. By the time you reached the end of the paragraph, you completely contradicted what you had said in the beginning of it.

I don't see how. Maybe I didn't explain myself well.

If someone asks me for some change, and I have some in my pocket, I tend to give it. Whatever change I have in my pocket won't make much difference in my life, but it might mean more to them. I'm not going to open up my wallet if they ask for change, but if it's convenient to reach in my pocket and pull out some change, here you go.

If someone asks me for a cigarette, I tend to give them two or three for the road, if I have a half a pack or more. No big deal, I can buy another pack. But if I can't spare the change or cigarettes for some reason, I won't lie to them. I just explain that this is all I have, sorry. In all fairness, though, I don't encounter a lot of people bumming change and cigarettes. If I did, I might have a different attitude about giving, but I still wouldn't lie to people about why I won't give. I'd rather give up a couple of smokes or some change than give up a piece of my integrity.

But if you don't give someone some change or a smoke, and they do something stupid as a result, it's not your fault. They are responsible for their own actions. Hope that clears it up.