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Originally posted by WWu777
Case in point:
Right now my girlfriend is miserable and stressed. Her son is a tyrant that won't let her go anywhere or do anything. He refuses to be babysat by others, refuses to hang out with grandma, refuses to go to daycare, refuses to let her go on vacation, etc.
What can she do?
I hate to say this, but having a child can be one of the WORST mistakes and WORST things that ever happens to you. You lose all your freedom, just as if you joined the army, and can't do anything about it, esp if your kid is like a tyrant who controls you.
What can she do? How can she break free of her son?
I know it sounds bad, but children are VERY ENSLAVING. It's one of the worst predicaments cause there's no way out. You can quit a job, quit a marriage, but you can't quit children. How can you break free?
Why doesn't society ever warn us about the neverending enslavement of children? It's a cruel scam.
I certainly wouldn't want to be enslaved in servitude to a child. I have zero interest in doing so. I have no desire for self-sacrifice. What can you do?
I think some people do have a desire to self-sacrifice. Parents usually have this desire. But I guess some don't have this desire. Perhaps they lack a "self-sacrificing" gene?
Originally posted by OhZone
And I can tell you that being a parent NEVER ends. Guess who is spending life savings on currently unemployed due to economy son. !/4th of it gone already. Being old is bad enough.
Those who call you selfish are just mad because you didn't yield to their attempts to manipulate you.
I know some people who are selfless and have taken into their homes various friends and sometimes strangers who were down and out.
Well, results were that they ate for free and stole stuff.
A homeless woman with an infant--This lady couldn't just let them on the street. So she took them in.
Next day the woman's boyfriend came by to pick up her and baby, along with TV, and some jewelry and tools.
Selfless to a fault, always getting ripped off.
Originally posted by WWu777
Does one have the right to be selfish? Why does society act as though one were obligated to be unselfish? It's not possible to force someone to care about others if he doesn't right? Isn't this an unrealistic expectation?
Besides, isn't it wrong to force someone to compromise or sacrifice his interests, life, freedom, resources, needs, etc. for the benefit of others? What if he doesn't want to? Why should he force himself to do something he doesn't want to do? Especially if these "others" don't include his friends or family.
Isn't is self-destructive to be too selfless and only care about others but not about yourself? If so, why doesn't society consider that a bad thing too?
Key point: If everyone wants you to do something that you don't, should you give in, or should you listen to yourself and be selfish? Is one obligated to do something one doesn't want to do, just because everyone else says so?
Originally posted by blackmetalmist
I use to be quite selfish when I was younger, and truth be told, I was much happier since I put myself first.
Now, Im not selfish at all, and people just like to step all over me and run amok. If only I can find a way to be selfish again, I would, In a heartbeat, but I dont think its in me anymore.
Originally posted by WWu777
Originally posted by darkbake
reply to post by WWu777
I have a solution for your girlfriend's son. If he is autistic, she might want to find a sitter that is at least somewhat compatible with him, be reassuring with him the first few times, and keep the same sitter, that way he can get used to him or her and become more comfortable with the situation over time.
There might also be reasons that he doesn't like visiting his grandmother, including loud noises, unpredictable behavior, or something of the like.
Overall, a solution needs to be found for this problem, because letting him be in control of her like this is actually an unhealthy decision for his future, her life, and their relationship. There are probably creative solutions to this and other problems that crop up that she can utilize if she thinks about it a bit.
edit on 21-5-2012 by darkbake because: (no reason given)edit on 21-5-2012 by darkbake because: (no reason given)
He's not autistic. He just wants everything his way and doesn't take no for an answer. He just has a strong personality that wants his way. Grandma is just boring to him. He doesn't like to play with other kids too. I think he's an introvert and other kids bore him, esp since they are different than him and more simple.
I don't know what she can do. Why didn't society warn us about having kids? They trick us into thinking it's the most wonderful thing. But I've never found raising kids to be joyful or pleasurable in any way. Maybe I'm just different than everyone. There's just no excitement in raising a family. If you watch the "Vacation" movies with Chevy Chase, you'll see that family vacations are more stressful than fun.
Originally posted by pierregustavetoutant
reply to post by ottobot
So I guess you are opposed to the whole idea of natural law and embrace the worship of the collective. No thanks to your bee hive mentality.
My rights come from the Creator/nature/whatever you want to call it. "Society" can choose to accept that fact, shape policy around it, and prosper or it can decide that "society" makes all the rules and enforce a tyranny. Sounds like you prefer the latter.
Per the OP's original question: Absolutely.
Being forced by governmental action to "help" others is not compassion. It is tyranny.
A community that rewards acts of voluntary kindness and that uses sound policy to promote cooperation is bound to be a successful one. But that community should also promote competition and reward success.
A society that forces "compassion" tends to create a culture of dependent, entitled morons, hence the growing dependency rates in the U.S.
Compassion is an individual or community function. Not central government's.