I am not a freak! But I sure feel that ways sometimes.

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posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 03:40 PM
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I have been hanging out on ATS a lot more lately.
Guess I am filling the void of need to express myself more and more. The internet is a great place to speak freely and openly to a wide audience and get feedback.

I post mostly in the paranormal threads, as I am very interested in sharing and learning about ghosts and spirits and just the whole afterlife concept. I have a lot of opinions, ideas and just general first hand knowledge in this area. But then, I go back and read what I have written, and I feel after like I want to hide. Not because what I am posting is not true, but because I sound like so much more than I am when I put it out in text.
It is hard to explain.

I remember when I first started coming here, and I would tell my story, and get accused by others of advertising, or people telling me that I shouldn't be telling these things, because if I was what I say I was, I wouldn't be here doing this. I wouldn't be asking questions about moral issues when it comes to ESP or right and wrong with charging for abilities etc, which I might add I never have. I have always felt that when spirit contact or psychic abilities happen, for me anyways, it is to be freely given. I don't do readings, I used to, many years ago, as practice to see how I was doing or if what I was thinking was correct. I was learning. That was a part of the process. For me, there is nothing to read on someone unless there is a spirit there, and if there is, and it wants to talk to me, it will. For some reason spirits seem to know I can somehow connect with them, and they let me know they are there. It has happened several times,with several different people. Although I understand why it happens, I don't understand why it happens.

That is why I have an interest in the paranormal threads here. I am still learning and searching for answers for myself.

I am a quite normal guy in the everyday world. Very down to earth all things considered. I don't talk about these things in public unless someone brings it up or something triggers off a psychic response that makes me tell someone something. It doesn't happen that often. Maybe a few times a year, mostly co workers or friends.
I could make it happen a lot more if I wanted to, I know this, but I choose not to. It does take a lot of mental/spiritual work that I just don't want to do. Perhaps I am lazy, well, I know I am.

I don't think like a normal person. My mind is always on the metaphysical in some way. It's like I am caught in a buddah state of mind. I keep it to myself until given the chance to express it. I drive my wife crazy when I start talking sometimes. If I get a flash or have an experience, I will go on and on about it for days until I figure out what the hell just happened, it is not always clear cut, though sometimes it is.

I have no schooling in the metaphysical unless you count experience and logical conclusions drawn from those experiences.

I am either crazy, or I am psychic.

I questioned this for many years, any sane person would.
My conclusion?
You have to be a little crazy in order to be a psychic.
The Mental Health Systems conclusion?
I should go help the local police department.
Crazy huh.

It is not some great ability that is above and beyond anyone or anything.
It actually sucks sometimes.

I never know who I can and cannot relate to in these matters. I feel so alone sometimes. It is hard to be like this, but at the same time, it is what it is, and so I just do what I do. I am no different or more special than anyone else, I am not perfect,in fact I am far from it and that too makes me wonder why.

I guess I just feel the need to express myself, what I am feeling at right this second. A creative writing exercise and mental dribble.

I am not a freak even though I feel that way sometimes.
You don't know what it is like.




posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 03:57 PM
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That, at least to me, was one of the most honest rants that I have read here. I'm glad to have read it.

S&F

Thanks
edit on 28-4-2012 by Bigfoot12714 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 03:57 PM
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we are all freaks in our own way I think now (thanks to you
lol)
I can fight so well that it scares me sometimes.
it's not something I boast about to anyone but i'm very aware of it's presence within me.
perfect precision and power, timing and perception combined in a synchronicity one can only experience.
I never have to use it thankfully but I know it's there, I can feel it, and use it on command.
i've played with it when a friend wanted to spar while drinking,
I kicked him in the face in such a way that didn't hurt him that much the moment he thought he was about to hit me, he asked me to prove to him. he understood what I was talking about from then on.
it's a reason I believe in some kind of psychic ability or external energy presence that effects us with our freakiness.
because it's effortless and comes natural.



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:04 PM
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reply to post by Darkblade71
 


The problem is that most people are morons.

You sound like a cool nice fella to me.

Its good to be different.

If someone thinks you are a 'freak' you should consider that a great compliment.

I dont think you are a freak but Im a proud freak so dont feel bad that I dont consider you a freak hey



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:22 PM
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I think I have atmokinesis. Does that makes me a freak? Everyone can be an atmokinesis with proper training.



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:29 PM
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Originally posted by swan001
I think I have atmokinesis. Does that makes me a freak? Everyone can be an atmokinesis with proper training.


Seriously? Can you prove this? Because that's pretty sweet if it's true...



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:29 PM
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Originally posted by swan001
I think I have atmokinesis. Does that makes me a freak? Everyone can be an atmokinesis with proper training.


I have definitely questioned myself about Atmokinesis but for the most part I remain skeptical.
what is it within yourself and the environment you find yourself in to give you that feeling?
is it natural and effortless?



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:30 PM
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I have to say that I don't much believe in psychic abilities or ghosts etc. Especially psychics that predict the future. If they could it would mean we can all just sit back and everything will happen anyway. Or that we actually have no free will as everything is already decided.

That being said, I think the worst insult I could ever receive would be, to be called NORMAL! I'd rather be a freak any day!

One other little thing, you say you don't think like other people. Well for a start you can never know how other people think, as you would have to be them to know that.



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:32 PM
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reply to post by Darkblade71
 


Short little freak back here...in the back of the room...behind all the other freaks reading this. They'll read and relate, but won't post. That's me, standing behind all of them.....


Excellent self observations OP. I think you spoke for more than a few of us fellow freaks...Thanks....


Des



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 04:38 PM
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reply to post by yourmaker
 


All the reports are the same, which makes me believe that this is an actual medical condition and is widespread. Emotions like rage or sadness generate clouds, while happiness disperse them. The phenomenon is bizarre but is ingrained into the atmokinesist's inconscience.



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 05:00 PM
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Originally posted by mee30
I have to say that I don't much believe in psychic abilities or ghosts etc. Especially psychics that predict the future. If they could it would mean we can all just sit back and everything will happen anyway. Or that we actually have no free will as everything is already decided.

That being said, I think the worst insult I could ever receive would be, to be called NORMAL! I'd rather be a freak any day!

One other little thing, you say you don't think like other people. Well for a start you can never know how other people think, as you would have to be them to know that.



I played with predicting the future for a while, just to see if I could do it. On a personal level with people, I can, but on a global scale it was mixed results. Most things did happen, but the timing was off from 1 to 5 years on a lot of them, and then, some things were just wishful thinking on my behalf. One of the problems with psychic abilities is that your own thoughts and perceptions taint what you get, and it isn't spelled out for you, you have to learn what some things mean like personal symbolism. My problem was I always let what I thought interfere with what I was getting.


I don't think like other people. If people thought like I did, there would be a lot more people like me around. I am sure some people do, don't get me wrong, but I start talking about things around people and most of the time they have never experienced someone like me. That tells me that not a lot of people think this way.

I can understand not believing. If you don't experience it for yourself, you won't believe it, at least you shouldn't. That's the smart thing to do. I have always hoped that people would have some of these kinds of experiences at least at some point in their lives, to kind of help them out in seeing that life is so much more than just chemical reactions. I totally understand not believing.

Thanks all for the words



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 05:04 PM
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I had to go look up atmokinesis. That is the first I have ever heard of it, or at least a name for it.

Reminds me of cloud melting, where you pick a cloud and then focus energy at it until it is gone. I've done that one before. Was teaching my daughter how to do it a few weeks ago, but she has a short attention span and lost interest...lol



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 05:48 PM
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reply to post by Destinyone
 


It is the short ones you gotta watch out for ....




posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 07:47 PM
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Originally posted by swan001
reply to post by yourmaker
 


All the reports are the same, which makes me believe that this is an actual medical condition and is widespread. Emotions like rage or sadness generate clouds, while happiness disperse them. The phenomenon is bizarre but is ingrained into the atmokinesist's inconscience.


I meant ''the atmokinesist's SUBCONSCIOUS''. The part of your brain which you can't control.
With a bit of training you can acess this subconscious and gain control over its actions.
It's as if the subconscious is directly linked to the barometric pressure around you. When you get upset the pression lowers and when everything goes well the pressure rises. Controling your thoughts before your subconscious recieves them can enable atmokinesists to avoid or enable weather modifications.
edit on 28-4-2012 by swan001 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 08:18 PM
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DarkBlade, you're not a freak and you're sure not alone.

I'm not exactly "normal" myself and it scares me spitless.

Time



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 08:21 PM
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reply to post by Time4aChange
 


Please, share with us. I want to know what some of us can do (or experience)!



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 08:30 PM
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Originally posted by swan001
reply to post by Time4aChange
 


Please, share with us. I want to know what some of us can do (or experience)!


I have a real hard time talking about it, swan.

I'm empathic to the nth degree. Not just with humans. Was being taught to control it but that was cut short so I'm trying to learn on my own.



posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 08:41 PM
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reply to post by Time4aChange
 


''empathic''... This word has been used alot of times but I never really knew what it meant. Can you elighten me, please???
Or you can U2U me if you don't want everyone to read your post.



posted on Apr, 29 2012 @ 09:03 AM
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reply to post by swan001
 


Best definition I could find:


An Empath is a person who can psychically tune in to the emotional experience of a person, place or animal.


I'm not much of a Wikipedia fan but here's an article that kinda explains it:
Empath

Check your messages, swan



posted on Apr, 29 2012 @ 11:08 AM
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Originally posted by swan001
reply to post by Time4aChange
 


''empathic''... This word has been used alot of times but I never really knew what it meant. Can you elighten me, please???
Or you can U2U me if you don't want everyone to read your post.


Swan...being an 'empath" is like being a radio that picks up signals on the dial of a radio. On this radio, there are the numbers for all the stations that everyone can hear. But, for an empath, there are an unlimited number of stations constantly being picked up, that aren't on the dial. You can't tune them out...they emanate from everything.

I was born an empath. I can't tell you how it affected my life, until I learned how to *selectively* tune into the constant input, and sort out what I let in and what I didn't.

Here is a good definition on empaths.

www.empathguide.com...

Des





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