posted on Apr, 28 2012 @ 03:40 PM
I have been hanging out on ATS a lot more lately.
Guess I am filling the void of need to express myself more and more. The internet is a great place to speak freely and openly to a wide audience and
I post mostly in the paranormal threads, as I am very interested in sharing and learning about ghosts and spirits and just the whole afterlife
concept. I have a lot of opinions, ideas and just general first hand knowledge in this area. But then, I go back and read what I have written, and I
feel after like I want to hide. Not because what I am posting is not true, but because I sound like so much more than I am when I put it out in
It is hard to explain.
I remember when I first started coming here, and I would tell my story, and get accused by others of advertising, or people telling me that I
shouldn't be telling these things, because if I was what I say I was, I wouldn't be here doing this. I wouldn't be asking questions about moral
issues when it comes to ESP or right and wrong with charging for abilities etc, which I might add I never have. I have always felt that when spirit
contact or psychic abilities happen, for me anyways, it is to be freely given. I don't do readings, I used to, many years ago, as practice to see how
I was doing or if what I was thinking was correct. I was learning. That was a part of the process. For me, there is nothing to read on someone unless
there is a spirit there, and if there is, and it wants to talk to me, it will. For some reason spirits seem to know I can somehow connect with them,
and they let me know they are there. It has happened several times,with several different people. Although I understand why it happens, I don't
understand why it happens.
That is why I have an interest in the paranormal threads here. I am still learning and searching for answers for myself.
I am a quite normal guy in the everyday world. Very down to earth all things considered. I don't talk about these things in public unless someone
brings it up or something triggers off a psychic response that makes me tell someone something. It doesn't happen that often. Maybe a few times a
year, mostly co workers or friends.
I could make it happen a lot more if I wanted to, I know this, but I choose not to. It does take a lot of mental/spiritual work that I just don't
want to do. Perhaps I am lazy, well, I know I am.
I don't think like a normal person. My mind is always on the metaphysical in some way. It's like I am caught in a buddah state of mind. I keep it
to myself until given the chance to express it. I drive my wife crazy when I start talking sometimes. If I get a flash or have an experience, I will
go on and on about it for days until I figure out what the hell just happened, it is not always clear cut, though sometimes it is.
I have no schooling in the metaphysical unless you count experience and logical conclusions drawn from those experiences.
I am either crazy, or I am psychic.
I questioned this for many years, any sane person would.
You have to be a little crazy in order to be a psychic.
The Mental Health Systems conclusion?
I should go help the local police department.
It is not some great ability that is above and beyond anyone or anything.
It actually sucks sometimes.
I never know who I can and cannot relate to in these matters. I feel so alone sometimes. It is hard to be like this, but at the same time, it is what
it is, and so I just do what I do. I am no different or more special than anyone else, I am not perfect,in fact I am far from it and that too makes me
I guess I just feel the need to express myself, what I am feeling at right this second. A creative writing exercise and mental dribble.
I am not a freak even though I feel that way sometimes.
You don't know what it is like.