Death to a Five Year Old....What to Say?

reply to post by lonewolf19792000

I can have kids bro... I had one taken from me without even having a say and after the fact!

I'm not stupid... I am free as a bird now

-----------------

the bible says we're here to procreate and to be the father... to bring light into the world.

I am afraid, plain and simple... sometimes I think if she had the baby what kind of man I would be right now, would I be different?

how can an Angel break your heart...

OP, why do you think your son started worrying about death?

You might consider introducing your son to the beliefs of different religious groups and why you think they are silly. That might help him if he ever finds himself among a group of pushy born-again Christians or Jehovah's Witnesses or Hare Krishnas or whatever.

Raising him as an agnostic is like leaving him as a blank sheet of paper for religious groups to scribble whatever they want.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Hi. Im curious to know why your son asked you about death?
What else has he asked you?

Originally posted by sk0rpi0n
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Hi. Im curious to know why your son asked you about death?
What else has he asked you?

His pet fish died.

What has he asked me? Just about everything under the sun.

Originally posted by emberscott
How about "No one really knows what happens." You cannot go wrong with the truth.

That will encourage him no doubt.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Let him watch videos of kids who have had NDE's. They can tell him what they saw when they died.

Telling children you don't know what happens when they die does not cause anxiety or confusion. I for one am not going to lie to my children and say that I KNOW their is life after death in another realm. I don't and neither does anyone else truly. Children who die and come back with tales of what they saw, are often influenced by parents, media, and constructed similarities. If we are to believe ever OBE are valid without proof, then we have to consider all alien abduction valid and testimony.

We don't give our children enough credit in my opinion. They are quite capable of listening to multiple ideas about what happens when they die so that 1. It helps feed their imagination. 2. Calms them that nothing "bad" is coming to get them. and 3. Opens them up different ideas and concepts surrounding the ideas of what happens after death.

Ironically, my 5 year old asked it we can make some sort of magical potion to pour on graves and make sure they STAY dead. LOL. (Zombie phase).

reply to post by CirqueDeTruth


You say it's wrong to lie to children, but we tell them a fat man in a red suit slides down the chimney to leave them gifts under a tree. You say we don't give children enough credit, then say their too ignorant not to tell if another child is lying or not. Your answers aren't consistent IMHO.

Teach them the tell-tale signs of people when they are lying to you, tell them when a person is speaking or answering questions and their eyes trail upwards and to the left (their left, your right), that means most likely they are accessing the right side of their brain which is where the imagination comes from. Looking directly in someone's eyes are looking upwards to the right (their right, your left) when they are thinking of an answer most of the time leads credence to the truth. Prefacing their testimony with truth statements generally means an embellishment is coming forth "To be completely honest....", fidgeting is a sign of a lie, getting angry when someone is questioned is a sign of a lie (not always, usually when accompanied by the other signs), teach them these things.

Let them listen to kids who have had NDE's, generally all their stories are consistent from around the world, personal testimony is the greatest form of advertisement on the planet for a reason. Have the child look at a bunch of them,. not just one, and pick out what the consistent themes are from all their testimonies.

smyleegrl
I would respond with quick and simple answers after all your son is only 5 years old..
I would just say when we die we just go to Heaven to be with Jesus ..Death is a natural thing that children are going to wonder about ..Just tell him what feels right for you...go with your gut. peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by NOTurTypical


I don't teach them Santa exists without reason! *shrugs. It's a sad day when they ask if Santa exists and I have to tell the tale of St. Nicholas and how Santa is a remembrance/memorial of this great man who lived during the third century. Then onto the story of the wise men bringing gifts to the Baby Jesus. *Sigh. Either way, once their positive it's me making the list - they get bloody demanding and expensive! Anonymity is a much better way for one's pocket book to go! LOL.

Death in my household isn't focused upon. Questions come up all the time. There are six of us in my family. Two parents and four kids. It's encouraged that they research anything they ask us directly if they are old enough. Should they want to look up info on NDE's they could. They are most certainly NOT told they have to.

reply to post by smyleegrl

His pet fish died.

Oh.. ok....
my pet kitten which I loved so much died in front of my eyes when I was 16.
I mean literally in front of my eyes....it was mauled by stray dogs at night...yet somehow managed to make it back into my house with severe injuries... I found it dying early in the morning...and I tearfully watched it gasp and wheeze for breath in its final moments. And then it suddenly went quiet.

I recall feeling extreme grief, knowing I'm never going to see it alive again..... and also a sense of relief because I knew it was finally out of its misery...

I guess when you are a kid, witnessing a pets death makes a pretty big impact on you... and you start thinking thinking about things kids normally don't.... like death and what happens after it.

Originally posted by CirqueDeTruth
reply to post by NOTurTypical

 

I don't teach them Santa exists without reason! *shrugs. It's a sad day when they ask if Santa exists and I have to tell the tale of St. Nicholas and how Santa is a remembrance/memorial of this great man who lived during the third century. Then onto the story of the wise men bringing gifts to the Baby Jesus. *Sigh. Either way, once their positive it's me making the list - they get bloody demanding and expensive! Anonymity is a much better way for one's pocket book to go! LOL.

Not to mention the great leverage that Santa provides in getting them to shut up and behave pretty much on demand as Christmas approaches...I miss that

reply to post by smyleegrl


Actually, it may surprise many that what the bible actually teaches about the first part of death agrees with agnostics and atheists. When you die your soul & body recombine with the atoms of the earth, as that is where we came from before conception. It is the long term hope down the line is where we differ, that God holds basically a frozen copy of that person in his memory with everything they are, to be recreated at later time when the earth is restored to a better place.

I would tell any child that they are sleeping in God's memory, they are dead, but God will see that they live again one day.

From Jesus perspective the really dead Lazarus was sleeping as he had the power to wake a person from death itself.

Bible Verses that support this.

Genesis 3:19

In the sweat of your face shall you eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you shall return.

John 5: 28 & 29a

Don’t be so surprised! Indeed, the time is coming when all the dead in their graves will hear the voice of God’s Son, 29and they will rise again.

Ecclesiastes 9

The living at least know they will die, but the dead know nothing.

reply to post by smyleegrl


My son was in the house when it was discovered that his Grand-dad had had a heart-attack in his sleep, and then saw him taken out covered over on a stretcher. He was about six. A bit too much for a child to come to terms with, but he and his cousins did, and remember the good times. Anyway, at the time, to the same question your son asked you, I asked him back, 'what do you think happens?' Took it from there.

Now, three years later, we sometimes together imagine him sat on a cloud with a cup of tea and his feet up looking down on all his Grand-kids growing up. Kids are pretty disgustingly morbid and are quite aware of all the rotting side of the physical aspects of death, so I've never had the need to really get into that, it is the essence of the person or thing that they loved that they are really concerned about. Just as we all are. And like the rest of us, left to their own devices, will believe what they want to believe, and what gives them comfort.

I will tell my son (when i have one) that when you die, you just return to earth. Simple. They can read up on at burying/cremation and make sense of it.

When they are a bit older and ask about "souls", i would say they just go into space and join the stars.

Bets part is i'm not lieing and it makes sense.