Men and Women please answer this honestly.

reply to post by chiefsmom


Don't confuse that with being stubborn. there's a difference.

Strong willed meaning that you're focused on succeeding at something and you do.

I'm one of the most intelligent men you'ld ever want to meet, but I don't have the success that should come with it. And that's partly because I didn't have the focus and determination needed to see the intelligence through.That has to change, and it's going to. I need a woman who see's that that is my priority in life and is equipped to help me reach that goal. I have many other skill sets I can use to help her reach whatever goal she has as well. Friends helping each other if anything.

If I can't find her then I'll go it alone. Whatever it takes to reach my goal. I'm doing this for my own personal gain as well as helping to establish my daughters future.

These are the main reasons why it doesn't matter TOO much what the woman looks like. Don't get me wrong, looks aren't a deal breaker, but lets be honest here. They help seal the deal.

Originally posted by Alyssa
Men: Would you date/have sex with a woman if her face was VERY deformed and/or burnt. Let's add that she had a nice body, great job and she wasn't shallow about your flaws?

Women: Would you date/ have sex with a man if he was charming, handsome face, great abs, strong minded, but was VERY short as in 5'5, broke because of medical issues and lacked ambition to move up in the job world?

Don't know. Would the Eyes look normal and does she have control over them? Do the deformation touch the mouth and is she able to give a big smile still? Does she have and incredable pesonality and a small ego? Does the great job make her work a lot of hours or will she be around mentally when you are with her? What are her views on world issues? Does she wants kids?

Sing along with me guys and gals

cult of superficiality
cult of superficiality
cult of su-per-fic-iality

it's all about the outside
and not about within
you can't be medium sized or super loving
you have to be super thin.
you have to run the rat race
a race to win to lose
lets all live the simple life
go out and drink some booze.

Originally posted by Alyssa
Women: Would you date/ have sex with a man if he was charming, handsome face, great abs, strong minded, but was VERY short as in 5'5, broke because of medical issues and lacked ambition to move up in the job world?

Charming: YES
Handsome: YES
Great Abs: YES
Strong minded: Provided his beliefs were compatible with mine, YES
5'5 tall: YES
Broke due to medical issues: YES
Lacked motivation: NO

Honestly, if he lacked motivation, he probably wouldn't be classified as strong minded either. Regardless, that in itself would be a deal breaker.

reply to post by Alyssa


if i wasent married yes, appearance while a nice bonus is the last thing i look for in a mate and therefore unimportant

Originally posted by Alyssa
Men: Would you date/have sex with a woman if her face was VERY deformed and/or burnt. Let's add that she had a nice body, great job and she wasn't shallow about your flaws?

Women: Would you date/ have sex with a man if he was charming, handsome face, great abs, strong minded, but was VERY short as in 5'5, broke because of medical issues and lacked ambition to move up in the job world?

By date, do you mean, hooking up in a bathroom at a bar and then never calling?

Yeah but I'd make sure not to get it pregnent

I guess my question would depend on how much they paid

Being intimate or being in a relationship with someone isn't about what is should be anymore. Men and women alike search for a partner based on what it perceived as security. Be it emotional or financial or physically. Rarely do do we see a couple anymore that just has that connection. Instead of finding someone who makes your soul stronger and more complete, we search for someone who will make us look better to the rest of the world, emotionally physically financially.

Originally posted by Fisherr
Why dose the women have to be deformed / burnt Vs the man just being lazy?

Both questions fit both gender of human.

Love will overcome anything.

Good answer.

Personally I don't let the sight of physical appearance dictate over what my heart tells me. If I meet someone who is somewhat physically impaired and got to know them, then after time found out they were someone who I could really start to have feelings for The issue of impairment wouldn't even be a deciding factor. I can't fight what my heart tells me, I guess I'm old fashioned that way.
As for the sex question , I doubt very much girls with deformed faces or burnt faces do much time hanging out in clubs or bars.

reply to post by Alyssa


I dunno, it depends on circumstances... anything is possible
2nd line

reply to post by Alyssa


I wouldnt care how the women looked to a certain degree, only if she believed in my same views of spirituality, family, abstinate till marriage, love for children, and the man is the boss.

But in your case, no I wouldnt have sex with them. Either good looking or not, if shes not my compatible, then to bad.

Originally posted by Alyssa


Women: Would you date/ have sex with a man if he was charming, handsome face, great abs, strong minded, but was VERY short as in 5'5, broke because of medical issues and lacked ambition to move up in the job world?

Yes i would, because i believe that if someone can realise there full potential then they will blossom,
Behind every good man is a women giving him that little nudge,

so yes i would date that kind of fella and i would shake them out of it and tell them there's a big old world out there for them,

Someone to hold you hand a bit in life can do wonders untill you can fly on your own,

Originally posted by Alyssa
Men: Would you date/have sex with a woman if her face was VERY deformed and/or burnt. Let's add that she had a nice body, great job and she wasn't shallow about your flaws?

Women: Would you date/ have sex with a man if he was charming, handsome face, great abs, strong minded, but was VERY short as in 5'5, broke because of medical issues and lacked ambition to move up in the job world?

it sort of depends. i would date a charming, handsome man who was strong minded and short (i'm short myself so 5'5' is acceptable to me although i've mostly dated in the 6' range). if broke because of medical issues it would depend on what that meant.... how extreme are the medical issues? lacked ambition to move up in the job world? again that depends on what that means. does it mean he's a big loaf who sits around (yet works on his abs) and is lazy? or does it mean he's not that interested in living that kind of lifestyle? i don't gravitate to super ambitious people. i want someone who is confident and happy with their life. i'd rather they be currently satisfied.

reply to post by Alyssa


Once again a very informative and awesome thread Alyssa.

But for real why does the woman have to have a disfigured face and all kinds of things, and the worse thing the guy has is he is a bit on the short side, and no ambition. Whats up with that #? But I guess judging from all these responses I suppose them ambition thing is a must, and it must of been one of the reasons why I never got any fish when I tried that dating thing some months ago.

"note to self, get me some ambition"
"note to self, don't forget to find out were I put the note to self notepad, and write it down"

Anyways to answer your question...I don't know! Why ask such a stupid questions? Hypotheticals are stupid, and one of the things that attracts me, and most everybody else be they both males and females is the face, they even did a study on it "look it up" But ya I aint going to lie. It would probably turn me off, but that don't mean that i would not go ahead anyways. It all depends on the person.

However if she had some facial scars, that would be awesomely cool and dangerous like...Even if she was missing an eye or some body parts I suppose that would still be cool...But if she is missing an eye, then she must have an eye patch and a pet parrot, and must say arrh after every sentence, that would be real awesome. And if she had a peg leg or arm...Ah whatever.

Ya you get me, I'm saying your rhetorical questions are stupid....

This is what I think of this thread, and all you ambitious people.

I think this subject can go a little deeper...follow me.
Take into account our human nature, in order move foward in life we all make mistakes and live failures. Those things tend to define who we are, so following those instinct we always aim for better right?
No one willingly regresses with their life style but its different for men and woman.

Men don't go back sexually. If a guy slowly starts scoring and going for ''hot girls'' he most likely won't go back to what he considers average because ''hot girls'' become what he defines great sex is...Where woman tend to be more tolerant and open minded about this issue.

Woman don't go back in life style. If a woman hangs around guys who pampers them she most likely won't go back to more modest guys because they won't meet the expectations she got used to and probably won't be able tolerate it.

I've asked countless woman if they would date/have sex with a guy who has a lazy eye and was always anwsered with ''hell no!''
Then I ask what if you were in a loving long relationship and at one point your boyfriend got disfigured in a accident, would you stay with him. I always got the morally conscious ''of course''
But then I present them this scenario. What if you started noticing your ''social entourage'' started feeling uncomfortable with your partner's disability? Wouldn't you agree that things would slowly start going downhill?
Would you let things go downhill so you can eventually move on instead of putting effort to make things work as they were? I always get an hesitant....''I guess so'' type of anwser.

Deep down people don't want to handle anyone who they feel hinders their personal sucess, thats obvious...Relationships even though they are ''teamwork'' is still a personal interest game.

is the chick like "Joker" deformed, "Elephant Man" deformed, or "Freddy Kruger" deformed?

reply to post by gunshooter


How bout Joan Rivers like

Deformed women: Tough chance, male attraction is primarily physical. There will be always be some ultradork who will supplicate to a deformed/damaged woman, but that's an extreme exception to the rule. There are also some guys who will genuinely feel attraction to the girl and look past her shortcomings, though again this they are the exception to the rule. Most guys will simply avoid the disfigured girl because of the toll dating her could take on their social status. Lower status generally means less sex, and thus less opportunity to spread seed.

Financially struggling, unmotivated short guy: Women are wired to seek alpha traits in men, and alpha traits do not mean looks, money, or motivation. Basically, a man's shortcomings are his shortcomings as long as he allows them to affect him. There could be a physically repulsing, unmotivated, poor guy who doesn't let his shortcomings effect him, and so he has an extremely fun, carefree personality which women are drawn to because 99% of guys are socially retarded, boring, and eager to supplicate thinking women will like them for being materially successful regardless of their personality and mental stability. Will a woman marry a poor, ugly, unmotivated, but fun and easygoing man? Probably not; women want to marry provider beta males because the provider beta will stick around and financially support her kids. Women do not, however, want their children to come from a beta male; they know that if the guy doesn't get laid, his kids might not get laid, and thus their genes may die out.

There's a pretty interesting book on the subject called Sperm Wars, its worth a read but don't let it screw up your head. The gist of it is that women will marry beta male providers, then go and hook up with alpha males in an attempt to harvest a stronger seed. The beta male provider will then raise another man's child thinking it is his. It's not something to judge/hate women on, considering they are basically WIRED to do this and evolutionary progression requires it of them.

reply to post by DarthMuerte


That IS ambition. Financial motivation and passion are too completely different things. A person whose ambition is to achieve some superficial status or goal for financial success is not much different than a person who is motivated by a cause i.e. saving the whales, and so devotes his or her time and energy to aid said cause. Unmotivated/unambitious is more like just sitting around doing nothing and going nowhere and being fine with it. There's nothing wrong with this, but its good to like SOMETHING, otherwise there is very little point to living.