I realize this thread is about other things than just child-support, but there are parallels in my life right now that has made me rethink my stance
on this issue.
I was sitting in on some child-support hearings the other day, and it astounded me the number of men that were trying to get lower child support
payments, or were already in arrears. The economy is hard, and I do think a lot of people are in a difficult situation, but it was very obvious that
some of these men did not want ANYTHING to do with their kids. Never made their visitation, certainly not going after the mother for custody, late or
missing child support payments, no attempts to get a job. Those men are the reason that the decent fathers among you don't get any leeway when things
are rough. A few bad apples spoiled the entire barrel, and you're paying for it.
Why shouldn't the non-custodial parent be just as responsible as the custodial? Why should they get to walk away and not lose any sleep?
Right now my husband and I are the relative caretakers of a family member's child. This family member, while she has her own problems, has been smart
enough to realize that she has to have some responsibility. This isn't about her.
The father on the other hand, while he makes a big show about calling us drunk/high at 3 o'clock in the morning Christmas eve demanding to see his
child, has never made any REAL, concrete efforts to do the right thing. (He's an active drug user/maker, and frankly we don't trust him based on his
background; still we have afforded him supervised parenting time, he's decided not to take advantage of it. He's almost forty, is "voluntarily
unemployed" and lives with his parents. And this baby wasn't an "Ooops", they actively tried to have a child.) He contested the child support. We will
have had his child for almost six months now, and still haven't seen a dime, and I doubt we ever will.
It's really not about the money (well, it is a little bit, since we have no children of our own and live firmly below the poverty line), it's about
responsibility. The tax-payers are paying for his child, as are we. We are going to do right by this baby no matter how much money comes out of our
pocket, because s/he's worth it, as is every child. If he can afford to get high every day, why can't he afford to buy his child some diapers? "Men"
like him make me sick.
edit on 28-2-2012 by Dontshootthemessanger because: important detail
edit on 28-2-2012 by