An Answer to a vanishing post: I am black and yes I sometimes have an attitude

This is in response to the post I saw that I assume was removed since I was trying to post a response and it said I did not have permission to do that and when I looked the post was gone. Anyway, the question, I believe, was why do black people have attitudes. This is an issue of perception. You percieve it as an attitude, while some of us (not all since it is impossible for one person to speak for EVERYBODY else) percieve it to be a response to what we "feel" we are recieving. Emotions, unfortunately, play a huge role in this. We (the some I spoke of earlier) are EXTREMELY passionate about whatever we are feeling. We tend to allow our emotions to guide us. We tend to do this because it's easier than holding it inside, allowing it to fester and really turn into a fiery inferno that can consume everything around us. It sounds dramatic but that is how it seems, even to ourselves. Is this an excuse? justification? No it isn't. It's just a little bit of insight from a humble being such as myself. When I first entered the military , the day I got to boot camp, I got in trouble because my jeans were too big. The instructor was yelling in my face and I made the mistake of laughing. I wasn't doing this to embaress him. I was laughing because I got worse "set downs" from my mom and I figured all it is is talk, it's not like they can beat me up or anything. Due to this "attitude", I spent the next 16 years of my carreer being told I need to stop letting my emotions control me, I was losing my military bearing etc, etc. So about halfway through, I decided suck it, I'll just mask all emotions. I did pretty well but then I started being accused of being rude, abrupt, uncaring etc, etc. It seems I couldn't win. And then it happened, all that burying my emotions caught up with me and to make a long story short I was medically retired from the military because of mental problems. I do not think I'm crazy but I guess when you threaten to kill someone and spend a week in the psych ward, you kinda get a reputation. The whole time I was in, I was treated as if I was threatening everyone I came into contact with, so I guess I decided to give them what they "wanted" and so I acted/reacted accordingly. It was like a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm not making excuses, just trying to give a small bit of insight into a situation that not many outside my race, have a chance to glimpse. But I bet there are many people of all races who can relate to this, it is just more prevelant, I believe, in those who are black, or in my case, even partially black (my mom was chinese and black/my dad is american indian and black). So I guess the long and short of it is this: We react to what we feel we are receiving. Simple equation- We will *attack* when we perceive we are being *attacked*. We will *disrespect* when we perceive we are being *disrespected*. We will be *rude* when we perceive you are being *rude*. In this equation perceive equals feel, and the starred words can be replaced with any descriptive word you can fit in there. It's simple but complicated. I'll answer to the best of my ability, any questions you may have. Please no trolls, this issue is too important for that, IMHO.

PEACE

DevFem

I know this post seems disjointed but I'm trying to answer a very complicated question, you know? I don't know if I'm accurately portraying my thoughts. I have been told I'm very charismatic so I feel much better speaking orally and not typing, which I suck at by the way (if you haven't already noticed. :lol. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself...

Sachyriel snaps his fingers twice while moving his arm left and right in front of his face.

Mhmmm, you tell em.

Sorry, I couldn't resist, but it sounds like you had to get that off your chest. I didn't even know there were black people on ATS, I kinda assumed it was filled with the tinfoil hat group and the suburbanites who disagree with them cause they have nothing better to do.

I think your thoughts are awesome! I don't think this is a race thing, it is a human emotional thing. It doesn't matter black, white, yellow, or pink, we bleed the same. Someone might as well ask why women cry more than men, rather than why one race is mad.

Well said and worth the read. s&f

*quietly sneaks out looking over her shoulder before this get 404ed*

I entirely agree with this thread. And let me tell you...it has nothing to do with color. It has to do with culture.

In my ver honest opinion, I believe that media is poisoning the younger generation...teaching them to "Get money, go wild, die happy."

In other words, go one of two routes: abuse illegal substances while getting rich off of chanting messages revealing the naivety of the youngsters, but making it look cooler than it really is...

Or ...nah, nothing else.

The media is teaching us to respect the world less and less, and it looks so cool on tv that kids can't help but believe it. Besides, it means they can just sit around and be awesome all day...or so they think.

It's win win...but really, it's lose lose, and eventually die die.

reply to post by Sachyriel


Oh I'm willing to bet that there are more like me out there. I HAVE to believe it, you know.

When I saw the OP 's post I HAD to respond. And then it went away, but I still had the urge to respond. It's that emotion thing again

reply to post by Doodle19815


EXACTLY We ALL do it but because I've lived around "my own kind" predominantly, plus throughout we gravitate to each other so our exposure to ourselves is out of control, you know...again disjointed, I know, but I hope you're getting me, (laughing nervessly (sp?))

reply to post by Starchild23


I agree. During my life I have had the pleasure and pain of experiencing quite a number of situations, just as everyone of us has, so I can only offer my quite "narrow" ( in the big scheme of things) point of view.

I come from a VERY VERY closeknit diverse family. My Maternal grandmother is chinese. She had 3 husbands- 1 black, 1 white, and 1 hispanic. She has 9 brothers and sisters who disowned us long ago. My paternal grand father is black and american indian. We are a true melting pot.

Both my parents, are/were alcholics as well as drug users. My father was my mother's first husband, but her second baby daddy. I was 3 months old when my mother left my father. They both had tempers and both were fighters (often physically). This is due to various factors that involve a history of lies, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotionale abuse, every nightmare scenerio you can imagine. Passed down from generation to every closeknit yet so far apart generation. So much emotion it drives to just trying to find a way to live through the next day. You're stuck in a recurring nightmare. IT IS TRUELY UNTHINKABLE, but yet somehow you have to go on. Again I may sound disjointed. Sorry. I'm better dealing verbally

*Disclaimer*

I am white. In the 8th Grade, my first love was a black guy (that was raised white/black). Sure, he was raised in a white AAA high school. However, he didn't act wronged because he was outnumbered (which has to suck considering there were 5 blacks). Do you find it interesting he was straight A, athletic, polite, funny, everyone enjoyed him and his entire family finished College. They make mad money and I am happy for anyone's success. =)

My mom taught me color wasn't an issue. I can do the running man, Roger rabbit, drop it to the floor, I can be-box, I am feisty, I have a strong vocabulary (when I choose to), I can speak and comprehend Ebonics like most of my white friends, we accept it, and anything you can do we can do, too.

Now, why white people are offended and tired of feeling bad for their Grandparents Grandparents learned behaviors:

Some black people (including most black comedians) make fun of the white man for reaching out when people need help, making themselves fully available to help w/ directions, etc. Like some black men, every white man in my life makes an effort to be friendly, helpful, and loves thy neighbor w/o wanting something in return.

Yet, my black friends never leave home w/o their defensive offended side. My experience has been the black men in my life have been unavailable-unless they need me or mine, and they annoy my white friends with honey do lists a mile long; move me, love me, hook me up and don't stop giving us the shirt off your back, white man, because I might not "get" what I "want" if you cut me off. BTW, we sure do have issues seems w/in my brown circle - their cup must be fuller than mine, as long as they "get" what they "want" from me, they keep coming around. Then, they disappear until the next time they need some vanilla guy to put in work.

We are victims of our society because we all act a fool. Blacks expect certain perks simply because our past history; RIP MLK (Yes, I am very proud of his work and I allow my white daughter, to attend the MLK events - Although, I have to sign a school waiver.)

If we choose to be wronged, we are only victimizing ourselves. Only you can decide whether or not people offend you. If someone hates on you, so what. The world is hate. Plus, black people have a tendency to be rude to me in stores, brush past me, they NEVER hold the door for me maybe because I am a prissy girl - haters. And didn't all mommas teach their babies to say "thank you"?

White and Black men are responsible for hate, rude behavior, prejudice thoughts based upon their upbringing.

There are a few things you should consider:

Never has a white girl acted like she wants to lay me out just because they are wronged.

Never has a white girl acted like she wants to lay me out just because I looked at her wrong.

Never has a white girl pushed up against me in a club because my clan could drop it like it's hot, too. If deemed necessary, a white girl is equally qualified to saddle up for battle and white girls appear vulnerable, but you know white girls are nuts too.

Black College.
Black Dating sites.
Black holiday to support your grandparent's grandparent's unfortunate PAST experiences.
Black only Barber shops.
Whites will turn cold on a moment’s notice...just like the black man.
We are equal.

White, Black, Brown, Tan people are ugly at times, but no colored race should receive special perks, be allowed to voice their colored opinions w/o backlash, or act wronged because because because...who knows. Really? Is the problem because of color or could it be a person of any color has been "taught" to discriminate based upon their parents teachings?

My mom taught me how to be thankful, giving, available, cautious and, so on. When was the last time you personally donated your time, goods or services for the good of mankind? Isn't that what life has come to?

Let try something new and accept our lives as a gift. We have one chance to be our best and to prove our worth. Love your opportunities, and forgive 777 times. If you choose to be bitter, at least leave the white/black issue at home.

Life as we know it is over...in the days ahead. Just love all men so you aren't judged. Be your very best.

Regards

reply to post by DivineFem


I have to say that you are brave sir for standing up and offering an answer to that OP (that vanished). I read it and was a coward for not posting. I thought to myself that this is one fire I am not going to step into. I don't know why people stereotype - eg....Irish temper, whites have a stick up their butts and are snobs, blacks are thugs, indians are poor and live on a reservation, you catch my drift, I could go on.

No matter what stereotype you fall under it really gets under your skin if somebody mentions it. The defense mechanism comes full force which usually leads to name calling and verbal insults if not worse. Why do humans feel the need to stereotype? I have no idea. I don't get it. Maybe once all the human skin is just brown we will get over ourselves and just learn to love and except.

I always say don't judge me by my looks, judge me by my actions. Thank you for offering your side, even if the OP vanished.

reply to post by Nautidreamer


Oh I agree with that also. I would never deny that everybody is going through something, has issues etc. What i am saying is Our views no matter what anyone may think or say, are quite narrow in the big scheme of things. No matter what we've been through. The only thing anyone can offer is just that, their point of view. the kicker is this, it says so little, but it's kinda huge. The factors that mold our points of views our infinant. It isn't a competition but we often treat it like it is.

I don't want anyone to feel like I am justifying in any way shape or form, any type of behavior dealing with any "hot topic issue". This thread was written as my personal response to a question that seems to have disappeared. I don't want anyone to think that I just posted this randomly, you know

Originally posted by DivineFem
reply to post by Starchild23

 

I agree. During my life I have had the pleasure and pain of experiencing quite a number of situations, just as everyone of us has, so I can only offer my quite "narrow" ( in the big scheme of things) point of view.

I come from a VERY VERY closeknit diverse family. My Maternal grandmother is chinese. She had 3 husbands- 1 black, 1 white, and 1 hispanic. She has 9 brothers and sisters who disowned us long ago. My paternal grand father is black and american indian. We are a true melting pot.

Both my parents, are/were alcholics as well as drug users. My father was my mother's first husband, but her second baby daddy. I was 3 months old when my mother left my father. They both had tempers and both were fighters (often physically). This is due to various factors that involve a history of lies, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotionale abuse, every nightmare scenerio you can imagine. Passed down from generation to every closeknit yet so far apart generation. So much emotion it drives to just trying to find a way to live through the next day. You're stuck in a recurring nightmare. IT IS TRUELY UNTHINKABLE, but yet somehow you have to go on. Again I may sound disjointed. Sorry. I'm better dealing verbally

Wow! Your family sounds so American!

...no, seriously. It does.

reply to post by Doodle19815


Thanks for posting. More than anything I want to let you all know that I'm not just tossing a personal thought out there and just saying whatever, never to think about it again. I want you to know that I am reading and responding to your posts, to the best of my ability. Thereby taking into account and truely listening to your point of view, you know. That until this matter has met it's day in the sun. Will that be today? When it falls off the first page of the recent topics? Who knows. But I truely am enjoying our interactions at this point in time.



PEACE

reply to post by Starchild23


I agree. I hope you guys are not assuming I'm fighting some kind of crusade. This is just the answer to the question that was raised. The question was- Why do black people have an attitude? Then went on through a small lists of scenerios. We ALL have issues but when the question is asked, and you dare to answer, all you can offer is your point of view. Which I was expressing. But I see how it may seem like a random post from a bitter black woman trying to make excuses for some decision that she made that didn't turn out as well as she thought. That was never my intention. If anyone has perceived it as such, I truely appologise. I purposely did not put it in the rant section because it's not a rant. just a personal POV.

AhahahahahahahA! Uhhhh............ Hahahahaha!

Well geesh, I owe you an apology for stereotyping you! As I read your OP I assumed you were a man. In any case one day maybe humans will just love one another as we are, flaws, scars and all.

Coming from a blonde haired, blue eyed, girl. Sending an internet *hug* to a black WOMAN!

reply to post by Doodle19815


I hope I don't come off as a man...and yes, from sister to sister, we want the same things

reply to post by DivineFem


Look, I should have taken a deep breath before I reacted. I could have slowed down and checked my response for errors. Instead, I choose to make a honest 30,000 foot assessment and speak from the heart.

Due to our Global Catastrophes, I am witnessing so much the love in the air. Funny how the fears we choose not to accept, actually keep us alive-passionate, huh? Finally, my masked "Taurus" bitterness has disappeared. I was born an oozing love machine. So, why on Earth did I waste so many years hurting?

My spontaneous disclosure could have been summed up:

I will never eat Curry, cats, gizzards or green's w/ hot sauce and a pigs foot. Our parents customized our paths based upon their lives. We spend our lives breaking their cycles because Mom messed up her daughter and dad messed up his son. Which makes each person different.

We don't come together until we need each other, but we find it easy to judge the ones we love and especially our Brothers & Sisters (if you get me).

Please, I am begging everyone around me to change their being. Never stay the same, Earth will never dig out, stop wasting time on secondary emotion, and move something.

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick~

Mission of Opportunity
Mission of Honesty
Mission of Love

reply to post by Nautidreamer


Exactly. I agree with your sentiments, had the original question just asked why do PEOPLE have attitudes, the answer would be the same, it's simple but complicated. But by immediately making it a race issue I (my taurus self) jumped in with both feet to answer the question. That easy, with the addition of one word my passions arose., so I know exactly how you feel. It was just a reaction of a moment in time, one of many. As long as we keep trying our best to get there, that counts for alot

reply to post by DivineFem


People either really love or hate a Taurus (most Virgo's love us to death). After all, we are Bulls and aren't afraid of much. Spontaneous disclosure is how we roll and I "get you" now. Like you, my convictions still apply.

And I still like you the same

Originally posted by Nautidreamer
reply to post by DivineFem

 

People either really love or hate a Taurus (most Virgo's love us to death). After all, we are Bulls and aren't afraid of much. Spontaneous disclosure is how we roll and I "get you" now. Like you, my convictions still apply.

And I still like you the same

Ditto