Would It Kill Some Of You To Be NICE For Once??

reply to post by ColCurious


Understood. The advice I have gotten about looking at posts more objectively and less passionately are very helpful. The rational way to look at it is that it is just the internet, but I do see hurt feelings from posters who are just trying to get their point across, and sometimes I am one of them. Other times, I have been the aggressor, and I always feel terribly guilty about it. Feelings ARE involved, whether it is rational to be that way or not. Such is the bane of being human. Eventually I will learn to rise above it, or simply leave the site.

I just had to get this off my chest, and I do feel better for getting it out there. I don't expect posters to be saints, but to me, when somebody attacks me directly and doesn't know anything about me, my situation, or my experiences, it ticks me off. Obviously it is my problem, but I also feel that the agitators should take responsibility for their role in it. Sometimes I feel that I have laid my case out quite concisely, and somebody will come along and nit-pick it to pieces in a way that makes no sense. Other times, I may lay my case out and nobody agrees. Such is life. That shouldn't make me a target for abuse.

I appreciate everybody who has commented on this rant, and this is a SINCERE feeling, not a fake one. It has been bothering me for a while, and it is helpful to see all sides of it, because I am just one person on a computer in the middle of BFE. I can't possibly know how others feel, or how they deal with things, unless I put it out there for people to read and comment on.

reply to post by AQuestion


Thank you for your perspective. I would like to think that we could all come to a place where we can agree to disagree, with mutual respect. It may not always be possible, because, as you wrote, we are dealing with different levels of experience and maturity. but it should be the goal.

United we stand, divided we fall. Nothing was ever solved in a nasty argument, but many things have been destroyed.

reply to post by FissionSurplus

when somebody attacks me directly and doesn't know anything about me, my situation, or my experiences, it ticks me off.

This happens to all of us. Some are attacked right from their start date. Seen it.

But I have developed one very important and effective tactic for dealing with this when it happens...don't respond.

The old adage of ignore them and they will go away actually works and is the best way to deal with it.

Sometimes it's really difficult to do this and just when you want to flame back, some kinda magic happens. Another poster or a few will actually do it for you!

When your fellow posters come and give you a hand it makes it even harder for the attacker to fight it from several angles at once. Seen it happen dozens of times and it has happened for me as well.

And that my friend is what makes it all worthwhile.

Peace

CallIing someone a derogatory name is still rude regardless if it's correct or not.

I've been called a shill more times than I can remember, I take offense every time this happens and in the past I've reciprocated in the personal attacks. Not going to happen anymore...

Calling names on either side is not conducive to productive discussion or argument.

reply to post by Chadwickus

Completely agree and yet it happens far too much. I can't see it stopping any time soon either. There is a difference between sarcasm and insults, many here however do not seem to be aware of that line.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Dear FissionSurplus,

I would like to think that we could all come to a place where we can agree to disagree, with mutual respect. It may not always be possible, because, as you wrote, we are dealing with different levels of experience and maturity. but it should be the goal.

I agree with you and I think you have seen that many do. I try and say hello to people when they join the site and I remember one of them saying how they were 15 or 16 and it really made me think. I was a lot harsher when I was in my teens and twenties, convinced I knew the truth when in fact it is a process that never ends. As I am now in my 50s I may "know" more than I did; but, in truth I may have better arguments; but, nobody has complete knowledge of anything. We are all on our own journeys and we get the opportunity to share our perspectives along the way. We can choose to share and question or we can convince ourselves that we are right and the other person has no logic. I like what it says when I log on to post, it says, "You are an experienced contributor to ATS. Please be an example for our newer members and make every post matter". Peace.

reply to post by jude11


You know, Jude11, you are absolutely correct. Jumping into the fight is a sure way to perpetuate it. I will take your advice and ignore it.

However, I stand by my pledge to be courteous, caring, and constructive if I feel I need to contradict. I cannot change what others do, I can only change my own behavior, and that is what I'm going to do. If you find that I am breaking that pledge, feel free to verbally slap me upside my head.

there is just nothing going on right now. Everybody is restless for WWIII to break out or Fema camps to start gassing Americans. Once the New Madrid Fault grenades and kills about 10 million people we will all be busy with "I told you so"s...or the NWO starts laying the smackdown on us we will be too afraid to be grumpy.

Until then, cheers!!!

No, it would not kill me to be NICE!!! But being an A-hole is so much more satisfying...

reply to post by rebellender


Rebellender, I think you may have a point there. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, is frustrating and can cause people to be on edge. Perhaps we may look back on this as a time when we should have been enjoying what was left of our empire.

I don't plan on being in no FEMA camp, though. But if I end up in one despite my best efforts, we can argue over the best way to make rat and cockroach stew, or how to make alcohol from leftover corn or fruit.

reply to post by hudsonhawk69


LOL! What can I say to that? All I ask is that you TRY.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


LOL, yes we could, yes we could

reply to post by FissionSurplus

Can't think of anything to argue here (constructively or otherwise) great reminder... I'd like to add that balance is key. Make an effort to take a break from the forums, the news, etc. when needed. Reconnect with the brighter side of life.

I do need to practice what I preach...

Starred and flagged.

Seriously, I doubt I've come across many threads we've both been in, but I reaaaaally hope you never actually take offence to anything I say. Sometimes it's the way I might say things, maybe it's because as a British wench we have this awesome eloquence you don't get . Either way, I really bloomin' hate for people to think I would dismiss them for their opinions...I always, no matter what I might say, go away and weigh up the odds.

But then again I wouldn't blame you if you thought I was a mahoosive twat.

LOL, there are so many awesome people on this site from all over the world, that's why I continue to come back. Here are a few funny pics I found which may make y'all smile:





And for the angrier, more sarcastic among us:

reply to post by FissionSurplus


I am that duck....
But only because I do really good duck impessions.



Unfortunately I'll do it one day and get the top of my head shot off for being a subversive, just for being here..
Rest assured I will die with a grin on me fizzog. Even though most people will think I only came here to take the pish.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
reply to post by hudsonhawk69

 

LOL! What can I say to that? All I ask is that you TRY.

Hahahahaha... Yes you're not the first person to point that out and I do make a concious effort to be less of a twat.

Can't we all just get along?

Originally posted by mnmcandiez
Can't we all just get along?

What would be the fun in that?

Originally posted by Manhater
What would be the fun in that?

From what I heard... probably spaceships.