Would It Kill Some Of You To Be NICE For Once??

OK, I'm not much of a rant-type person, but I have to bring this up. Lately, my visits on ATS have actually made me angry. Not because I have read about things in the world that are unjust, but because some of the posters have been downright snippy and rude.

Rudeness begets rudeness, and I must admit I have fired back in anger. If it wasn't for the strict T&C rules, I would have called them every name in the book. However this is exactly the type of thing which not only derails threads, but causes bad feelings all around. Many of us have done it, and of course there is the temptation to get snippy or subtly make fun of another poster with a judgmental statement followed by the laughing out loud face. What do you hope to accomplish by making fun of another poster? Are you trying to show that you are so much smarter and more superior? How does that advance our knowledge and help the online community? Are you so bereft of self-esteem that you have to get your good feelings by trouncing on others and trying to make them look stupid?

The chemtrail / geoengineering threads are the worst. They have gotten downright ugly lately. The posters who try and put forth their opinions, backed by what they feel is proof, are slammed and ridiculed by some of those who do not believe they exist. For those who do not believe, why do you go on those threads?

I myself have slammed somebody who wrote a post that basically said that God hates gays and that should settle the argument because it's in the bible. I feel bad that I did that, but I can't take it back now. I should have left the thread instead of launching a full attack.

I was attracted to this site because it makes people behave, and expects people to post things in a concise and courteous manner. This is starting to unravel, and I consider myself to be guilty of falling into the trap of fighting back in a way that is not constructive. I had somebody today slam me because my husband day trades for a living, saying that we were part of the problem and were doing nothing constructive or of real value, without knowing anything about our situation or why we are doing what we do. The incredible gall really made me angry, and I don't need to get pissed off when I come to ATS over something so stupid. Apparently, all the retirement funds, 401Ks and investment portfolios of the rich and middle class are bringing down America.

May I suggest that everybody remember to be polite, courteous and constructive with any criticism about a post? If you don't agree with a thread, you can indicate this without being mean, snippy or insulting. If you don't believe in a phenomenon or conspiracy, stay away from those threads if you cannot add your voice without creating dissent and hurt feelings. And, for God's sake, please do not judge the other poster as an individual without knowing a damned thing about them. Assume that we are all good people on this site, that we all have important things to say, and this is a forum for discussion and occasional disagreement over the issues. Let's keep it civil so we can all enjoy it, because if this continues and I keel over from a heart attack because I got mad as hell, I will be coming back to haunt you!

Thank you for reading. End of rant.

The thread title actually made me laugh. I quite agree you would think it might kill some members to be nice and not to always hate on something or somebody.

But the thing is that most people that get involved in being rude or nasty either believe that they are only responding to somebody else or that they are being HONEST with their feelings. Being 'honest' with your feelings of course somehow makes that person appear as if they are better people than the rest of us who are being 'fake' by not being rude or hateful.

It would my niece. OMG she is at it again. Help me now. ugh.

People do need to be nicer, I agree.
So much anger out there, and in here at times.

Don't let it get to you, stress is bad for your health.

reply to post by freethinker123


I don't consider civility to be fake, and I don't consider rudeness to be honest.

There are ways to get your point across, in an honest manner, without being mean. We as a country have forgotten this. You can be honest and be nice, can't you? People have forgotten how to get along with others.

I realize some are from the generation in which they were all told they were "special" and it was "ok" to express anger no matter what the outcome was. I consider this the biggest mistake of pop psychology, and it has proven to be a mistake in our society, causing a lot of people to lash out because they cannot control their baser instincts. The jails are full of people who were just being "honest" when they smacked their spouse or kids into next week because they were mad.

I am not advocating for anybody to fake being nice. How about this: If you cannot put your point across in a constructive, civil manner, keep it to yourself.

The chemtrail / geoengineering threads are the worst. They have gotten downright ugly lately. The posters who try and put forth their opinions, backed by what they feel is proof, are slammed and ridiculed by some of those who do not believe they exist.

I believe this is because there are a lot of shills on those threads to cover up what they don't want us to discover.

Get the REAL posters and contributors angry enough and they will stop posting through sheer frustration.

IMO

But they don't know us very well, do they? Us ATS'ers can be a very resilient bunch...

Peace

reply to post by snowspirit


Thanks, snowspirit. You are right, stress is bad, and it is only the internet, not worth getting upset over. Sometimes I just get up and walk away because I can feel my blood pressure rising. I am only imploring for niceness and consideration for other posters. The thread I was battling on earlier today actually had to have a mod intervene and threaten us all because it was getting nasty. We all need to take a chill pill and think more with our minds and less with our emotions.

I don't make you angry. You make yourself angry. The first step to take is in taking responsibility for your own anger. My job is not to be "nice" to you. I don't know you. I'll never meet you. There's really no incentive in being what you call "nice." Lots of times you get angry not because I'm not "nice," but because I disagree with you and tell you why. You don't like the criticism, so you get angry.

If you were truly objective, you would take the links I provide and digest them. You might come to the conclsuion that I might be right and then maybe examine your own motivations for the position you have taken. Is it becasue you simply did not have sufficient facts? Or do you have a vested interest in your position that prevents you from changing your tune? On the other hand, if you ARE right, then I have motivated you to strengthen your argument and fill in its holes so that you can make a stronger case next time. In other words, my not being "nice" may be the best thing that ever happened to you.

And really, being "nice" to you could be seen as my being completely unfair to you. If being "nice" means I am pretending that you are correct, I've done you no favors at all. When I say things like, "Well, I see what you are saying and understand your point" when you don't really have a point at all, then I'm actually being dishonest with you to the pont of lying to you.

And bear in mind that around here those who yell the loudest know the least. Those who are the most emotional about a subject really are not contributing to any sort of resolution. And that's kind of the point here at ATS. Most people have no desire to come to a resolution on issues. They're not really here to learn anything new, but to push an agenda. Whether that is "Billy Meier is the Real Deal" or "Ron Paul is our salvation" doesn't really matter because they believe they are correct. Ron Paul got 7% in Florida's election yesterday, just about his worst showing ever, but there are those who say he can win. Go figure.

I guess the bottom line is that if you take this stuff seriously, you've already lost. Just think of it as entertainment because you;re not going to change any minds around here. That's hard to do when everyone here considers himself a genius.

I agree. But I will confess...I can be that way too about certain topics. I usually try to stay off of those threads though. Or try to make a point...then leave before I let my mouth get the better of me and I end up

Like this here. It's hard, but sometimes I have actually learned when to keep my mouth shut...

reply to post by FissionSurplus


I do agree with you. I hope that we have somebody who is 'courageous' enough to put the opposite view accross. I sense that anybody of that opinion would be a little angry at your comparing their behaviour to those that beat their families though I know that isn't exactly what you meant, but these types are usually ruled by emotions so would probably interpret that way.

I would say that you shouldn't take it too seriously though. Of course its easy to get into a heated discussion with somebody, but I try to use humour to rise above it all. That can also have the added benefit of annoying the 'opposition' rather than lowering to their level!

reply to post by jude11


I hope it wasn't the op that starred you.

Your response is exactly what the op was talking about...

Calling someone a shill is not in the spirit of ATS and just isn't nice.

You're not being smart or funny, you are being rude and condescending.

reply to post by schuyler


Hmmm...first of all, I don't think I've ever read anything from you concerning anything I've said, so everything you write is hypothetical, although you act like I wrote this rant against you personally. Secondly, I think you've missed the point of my rant. There is constructive criticism, and just plain rudeness. If you criticize me constructively, I can take it. If you're just out to show how smart you are, and you try to make me look stupid, that's just plain wrong. How does that help the discussion?

I take responsibility for being angry, there is no doubt about it. Can you take responsibility for your contribution to the dissolution of the conversation by being snippy and mean? Your last statement about how we all think we're "geniuses" perfectly proves my point. If we all thought that, we wouldn't be on here, we'd have our own webpage or Twitter account in which we can trumpet our intellect to the world. Yes, there are smart people on here. That's part of why I like it. Humility is a virtue that more of us should exercise, because none of us knows everything.

I will continue to do my best to be civil, constructive, and supportive when I feel the poster deserves it. I will try to avoid being nasty and rude, as this doesn't help the thread, and makes other people feel bad. This is MY responsibility on this site. Whatever you do is up to you.

If it wasn't late I would post one of the Welcome to the Internet you must be new memes show me any forum where there isn't rude stupid people and idiots and I will go there, people are people, I think ATS has an even mix of experienced and intelligent posters and bottom feeders, just use common sense which ones you pick to debate with

Originally posted by Chadwickus
reply to post by jude11

 

I hope it wasn't the op that starred you.

Your response is exactly what the op was talking about...

Calling someone a shill is not in the spirit of ATS and just isn't nice.

You're not being smart or funny, you are being rude and condescending.

Do you not think or believe that there are some posters on this site that give the perception of covering for something or somebody? I'm pretty postive there are ones that attend this site mainly to broadcast misrepresentations or downright lies.

I thought that jude11 was very liberal in making his point and I for one starred him.

However, I do agree about the civilty that should be mantained when writing out one's thoughts on this post. Sometimes, anger clouds a persons thoughts especially when they are very passionate about the focussed topic.
Even with clear pictures in hand, sometimes fervent (non)belief will blind a poster. A suggestion: write your post as if the most severe critic will read it. Focussed thoughts and common sense will trump passion most of the tiime.

Originally posted by Chadwickus
reply to post by jude11

 

I hope it wasn't the op that starred you.

Your response is exactly what the op was talking about...

Calling someone a shill is not in the spirit of ATS and just isn't nice.

You're not being smart or funny, you are being rude and condescending.

But, but, but...

Please read again...

"I believe" and "IMO" were the terms used. In other words "My Opinion."

And having re-read my post, I don't see anywhere that I actually called anyone a shill. Just that the threads are attracting them. If you don't think I am right in this view, that is "Your Opinion" and you are entitled to it...just as I am.

Thanks anyway.

Peace

reply to post by freethinker123


You are correct. My jail comment may have been off the mark, but I meant it as a illustration of where the "me" generation is ending up with their unbridled emotions.

I do take some of these things seriously, for several reasons. First and foremost, there are issues which are destroying this country, and they should be taken seriously. Secondly, I am an emotional sort of person, and if I think somebody's feelings were hurt by somebody else, I will jump in and raise hell, which I shouldn't do.

My rant was inspired by my experiences on ATS in the last few days, and boy, am I getting an earful from people! Some are mad because they feel that it is my problem when I react. Perhaps they are right, but that absolves them from their part in the whole mess.

For instance, I can go up to a stranger and insult them because I don't like what they're wearing. Then I can turn around and say it is their problem because they are taking it personally, and they shouldn't. The internet is the same way. We put our feelings, thoughts, hopes, dreams and suspicions in our posts, and to be slammed is like having a stranger come up and insult you in the scenario I just mentioned.

If you put yourself out there in print, I think it is only common courtesy to be nice. You can disagree and be civil. You are right about humor as well, I will try to rise above it using that.

reply to post by Chadwickus
In the case of the chemtrail threads I am going to have to agree with Jude11. There are some downright Nasty pointed comments by a certian few individuals.

I can not speek as to their 'shillness" ,but if you look at their nuber of posts compared to their member date...
WOW!!! (no names... That's not my thing. I'll keep my personal opinions about someone elses motive to myself.)

I personally aproach everything from a place of love...

There are a lot of people here that leave love out of the equation. I know that is their preference and I accept that. It doesn't mean I have to enjoy the venom they spew out!

Momma always said "Treat others the way you want to be treated!"
She is a smart lady!
Love Red

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Dear FissionSurplus,

For what it is worth, someone recently was rude to me for whatever reason, I ended our exchange and considered that the end of the matter wishing them well. They contacted me later, in public and in private and apologized. I thanked them and the matter is over. There are instances when we have had a bit to drink, have stayed up too late, are just in a bad mood or are so passionate that we misunderstand what someone is trying to convey. I think we often find after an initial unpleasant contact that we begin to understand one another and can communicate with people at a later time without the anger as we get to understand them better.

There are however others who merely because they hold a different mindset will hate you automatically, it is just how it is. Because of my spiritual beliefs there are those who will never treat me civilly. As soon as someone convinces themselves that "all" people who believe this or that think a certain way you are dealing with a bigot and bigots are often overly passionate which causes them to cease thinking rationally because they think they already know you and will project their biases on you.

When I first came to ATS there was a thread about a form of occultism, it is a subject I happen to be interested in even if I do not agree with their conclusions. The person gave a very good description of what they believe and why, I thought it was one of the best summaries I had seen for the layperson. I posted that while I was of a different belief set, I thought they had done a fantastic job and did not explain where we differed. I was told that everyone who believed like me should die; but, they had never asked what I believed and I had only given the generic term for people who share my beliefs. I cannot say I was upset as I am used to it; but, we are dealing with different levels of understanding and maturity.

Good OP F&S and Peace.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


I completely agree OP. For the reasons you stated I left that thread. It was just getting stupid and going nowhere. S n F

reply to post by Chadwickus

Just for the sake of curiosity, what would you call someone who spends all their time on this board doing nothing more than debunking ideas that do not fit in with "government" ideas at this time and on multiple subjects while appearing to be an expert on all subjects commented on? And I'm not referring to you just in case you think that...

reply to post by FissionSurplus

Here is my little advice for Keyboard-warriors.

Never let anything or anyone on the web get to you. Ever.

If you chose to engage in a heated debate, take time-outs, log off and come back when you're calm again.

If you're subject to ridicule, take a step back and think... maybe your argumentation is really invalid.

Don't be part of the problem, it doesn't hurt to admit when you're wrong.