Who You Really Are...Is...When You're Alone

Choosing to be alone is an option, but when you are constantly alone, it becomes deafening to know who you really are. You see exactly what masks you wear to go 'outside in the real world'. And that becomes tiring. Someone who spends more of their life naked (as in without a mask) finds it intolerable to be forced to wear one when they have to interact with people.

The tomb you encase yourself in, can become very distracting...

I would say that who you are is not governed by wether you are alone or amongst company. Who you are is what is on the inside and sure, your habits and actions may differ when alone to when you are with others, but it is your inner self that guides those actions.

How you treat others and communicate when in company is driven by you, your personality, your belief systems, your desires and any number of influences too numerous to mention. But as different as you may act when solo, the difference in actions between being with one friend, or in a group or indeed with family can be equally as diverse, but this is still driven by your true self; despite the influences you still ultimately choose how to act in any given situation.

In the words of Twisted Sister; 'I am, I'm me'

I think I heard this from Deepak C., who says, "we are not ourselves in the presence of others," which struck me as interesting in it's angle. We become reactionary around others, as we engage in conversation and perception. Not that this isn't good, it's just different than being alone, where a thought can unfold, uninterrupted. A peace can fill the void for some, and create fertile grounds for creativity. I dig immersing myself in art and music, playing and painting. I sing out loud too Caladonea, and talk to my dog.
Then, as others have mentioned, solitude out in nature has it's healing and inspiring qualities for sure. Again, an uninterrupted sensory experience, connects you with the surroundings and the experience at a deeper level, imo.

Peace,
spec







"When i'm alone I tend to be hilarious." - Chukkles

reply to post by caladonea

So...what do you all do when you are alone? Who are you really?

If I am literally all alone, meaning no internet, since that involves other people, (that means no multiplayer video games like Modern Warfare, ATS, ect....)....I sometimes think up fantasy "journeys". Im 24, but I still think like a kid sometimes. I will still envision myself as a prince or knight back in the middle ages, put my mind in a situation dealing with aliens, and all that kind of stuff.

Or,

I'll see myself in a decade with just an apartment, with a small time job, but living a humble life, but on another day I will see myself as someone that holds immense power, such as being president.

It's basically just an "anything goes" kind of moment for me

when i'm alone I take on an aged prestigious character. calm, relaxed, effortless grace. and most humble
in all honesty though it's difficult to accurately portray myself. thinking back to a moment where I was completely alone, i'm very intuitive, always wondering or feeling something new about the changing world in and around me.
physically i'm wearing black ninja slippers, t-shirt and trackpants while I listen to anything from Bach to Opeth, Ozric Tentacles or Tool.

I do what I want

HI, I am new, this is my first post. I tried to find out how to do the introductory thread, and I failed.
I was thinking of this yesterday, the who I am when I am alone vs within other's company. I am a true introvert, I am a writer, and my mind is the never ceasing with creativity. It just doesn't stop. One moment I may be painting bamboo in the bathroom while thinking of the charachters I am writing, the next moment I may be listening to music from the 80's and pride myself on (still)knowing the words, I never run out of ways to entertain myself. I do have manners while alone, just not full manners-as in I do not always say excuse me to myself...when I feel bored or restless, I either clean house, laundry cook or go out and about.
When it is time to engage be with friends, I may feel nervous and unsure of what to say always, because when I am alone, I speak and think with confidence, no one to shut me down...and since I have this creative mind to write imaginative things, I worry I may think too much, say too much and be too awkward....
anyhoo...let me sit in my silence now.

Originally posted by artistpoet
reply to post by caladonea

 

Great Thread.

When I am alone I daydream listening to my inner voice. As a kid I used to love being alone still do.
I think about childish things like how can I paint a painting that will touch anothers soul.
How can I write a poem that will uplift another.
I leave the washing up piling in the sink often and let the dust settle on the furniture.
Sometimes though I read or see something that fires me up and want to partake.
I tell myself off sometimes too for daydreaming too much.
Sometimes i get low thinking about how this world is and how it could be.
I look at the stars and feel connected, I look inside and feel connected.
I sometimes feel that life itself is magic and full of wonder and want to share this feeling.
I go see my two friends White Horses who I feed apples and carrotts - We are always pleased to see each other.
I go to our garden and tend the plants and find joy in simple things like bird song and buds blossoming
I am a romantic dreaming a dream.

aritistpoet- you are very smiler to me, must be an artist thing

I think who I am when I'm alone is just a part of who I am.

There are a myriad of pieces that make up the real me.

The person I am around my family---positive, loving, and attentive--- is just as legitimate as the person that I am when I am alone and reflective. That person is more private, quiet and introverted.

The person I am at work---attentive, focused and pleasant--is yet another part of me.

I am all of these things...and one doesn't seem more real to me than the others.

I'm alone a fair bit, ain't all it's cracked up to be, guess its just me...

Get it

I'm becoming an expert on the topic of being alone. My wife passed two years ago today, I'm retired and live in the country. It's important to know when being alone becomes agonizingly lonely. As you get older being alone is a natural state of affairs...kids are living far away, friends and relatives passing away, everything you used to do ...just insignificant. I'm responding by working out, taking a lot of walks, working on my firewood... I still split my wood with a maul(ax). Being alone is good for reflection, but when I get lonely I reach out to my friends and kids on the phone or on the computer.

reply to post by speculativeoptimist


Yes I agree with what you quoted from that Deep C guy.
Leonardo Di Vinci said about painting in company something like - One can not give oneself entirely to oneself when in the company of another and that you owe half of yourself to the other

Originally posted by hoonsince89

Originally posted by artistpoet
reply to post by caladonea

 

Great Thread.

When I am alone I daydream listening to my inner voice. As a kid I used to love being alone still do.
I think about childish things like how can I paint a painting that will touch anothers soul.
How can I write a poem that will uplift another.
I leave the washing up piling in the sink often and let the dust settle on the furniture.
Sometimes though I read or see something that fires me up and want to partake.
I tell myself off sometimes too for daydreaming too much.
Sometimes i get low thinking about how this world is and how it could be.
I look at the stars and feel connected, I look inside and feel connected.
I sometimes feel that life itself is magic and full of wonder and want to share this feeling.
I go see my two friends White Horses who I feed apples and carrotts - We are always pleased to see each other.
I go to our garden and tend the plants and find joy in simple things like bird song and buds blossoming
I am a romantic dreaming a dream.

aritistpoet- you are very smiler to me, must be an artist thing

Yes it is an artist thing I guess but like I said I am a romantic by nature so I missed out how much I like to break wind as loudly as possible and other bodily joys. Now I have ruined it and burst my own bubble

Thank you Caladonea for such a timely and important thread. I just had this conversation with someone a couple of hours ago. Then I turned on ATS and found this. I wish I could star and flag you a thousand times! I got the feeling that you were talking right to my heart and circumstances.
Also, special thanks to Atlantis and MoEskiMo - your comments also resonate deeply - star and flag for you both. Hard to talk about the situation I am in but I just wanted you to know that this thread has lifted me up at a time that has felt hopeless. It's gives me hope and courage to know that there are people like you out there. Sending much love to you guys - you have really helped a stranger!

I would really like to post but Im afraid it would violate T&Cs :-( :-( :-(

:-D

edit: i reread and it sounded like some pr0n joke...i dont make such

When I am alone I find that I talk to myself alot I sing songs whistle even when there is no music.I talk to my beloved dog of 14yrs telling him how much I love having him around and that I love him more than anything else on this earth (my husband and son know this and they are ok with it..LOL) I tell him that I want him around forever and not to leave me because it would kill me.

I look thru my cookbooks that I have read front to back a gazillion times...why? I don't know.

I over feed my birds outside ....anything yummy I can find in my pantry nuts dried fruits cookies cereal I can watch them for hours enjoying themselves.

Sometimes I cry sometimes laugh, thinking of loveones gone.

I take a long bath with bubbles up to my neck and float on my back trying to be weightless and invisible.

I pour myself a large glass of red and open the hidden forbidden can of Chef Boyardee Raviolis that no one knows anything about .

Walk through my gardens in the summer and deadhead my plants and transfer any baby seedlings I see.
Listen with my eyes closed on my front porch in my wicker rocker to my surroundings.... wind, animals, insects and birds.
I actually like being alone I feel very comfy with myself.

A (second) thank you...to everyone who has responded to this thread I created. After reading all of your posts this morning....some made me laugh....some made me reflective...some my eyes teared up a bit. I enjoyed all of them!

I send out a...big hug to you all...with much caring.

Fondly,
Caladonea

reply to post by gabby2011

I personally love being alone.. to a point that I sometimes feel guilty over it.

I can have inspirational moments alone.. frustrating moments ..very content and peaceful moments .. as well as just apathetic moments.

I love nothing better than to spend my day wearing nothing but flannel pj's or "comfy" clothes.. sipping coffee and contemplating life ..and reading things on the net.

Wow, gabs!

Now that is some personal disclosure I would not have expected, nor anticipated! So, like we agree on Nancy Grace's lack of grace, we ALSO agree that alone time is precious....
and are probably at the same time sitting in jammy pants drinking coffee...

The only diff I can see from this post of yours from my point of view is that I don't feel guilty about it....

I know full well that you have no interest in my suggestions or input, but, nevertheless, I would encourage you to let go of the guilt! You are entitled to alone-time, and thought, and self-reflection. It is your God-given privilege, and your best course of action.

Hug to you, gabby.

Originally posted by wildtimes
reply to post by gabby2011

 

I personally love being alone.. to a point that I sometimes feel guilty over it.

I can have inspirational moments alone.. frustrating moments ..very content and peaceful moments .. as well as just apathetic moments.

I love nothing better than to spend my day wearing nothing but flannel pj's or "comfy" clothes.. sipping coffee and contemplating life ..and reading things on the net.

Wow, gabs!

Now that is some personal disclosure I would not have expected, nor anticipated! So, like we agree on Nancy Grace's lack of grace, we ALSO agree that alone time is precious....
and are probably at the same time sitting in jammy pants drinking coffee...

The only diff I can see from this post of yours from my point of view is that I don't feel guilty about it....

I know full well that you have no interest in my suggestions or input, but, nevertheless, I would encourage you to let go of the guilt! You are entitled to alone-time, and thought, and self-reflection. It is your God-given privilege, and your best course of action.

Hug to you, gabby.

I'll take the hug.

As far as feeling guilty about alone time..its more about feeling guilty that I could be spending more time helping others.. volunteering.. and maybe I will do more of that.

I realize alone time is good for you.. but it can spoil you to the point where you find being around others a bit of a drag.. and I would like to have a more loving tolerant loving spirit than that .

I think I need to find the right situation...where I can feel like I am doing something worthwhile...instead of situations with idle chatter about the weather and other people.

You probably understand where I am coming from ..so you can keep me in your prayers that I find that right balance.

((hugs back at ya))

Edit: After reading my post I realized.. that talking about the weather and idle chatter about others.. is pretty much what a lot of ATS is about as well..

[color=deepskyblue]What if you are almost never alone?

My kids are two and four and I go to school part time. They are non stop, very inquisitive and creative. Busy, busy. Overflowing with questions (We are in the 'Why?' and 'What's that?' stage right now). The only time I am really alone is when I am driving to and from school, the kids go with me anywhere else I go. If I am alone after they have gone to bed, it's not for long and I am usually either doing laundry, homework or I'm on ATS during that time.

Sometimes I drive all the way to school with the radio off just because I like the quiet. Quiet time is extremely rare around here. Other times, I blare the radio the whole way. Just depends, I guess. I get that mini vacation 3 nights a week this quarter, weather permitting.

While I agree that too much alone time could be a bad thing, I also think that a lack thereof can be harmful. I very much look forward to my hour long drive to and from school. I love my kids but sometimes just really need a bit of quiet time...

Edited to Add:

During the day when I am not alone, I talk and read stories and sing silly songs to my kids during whatever we happen to be doing. I pick up toys all day and feed people and.. just do whatever needs to be done.

And I totally talk to the dogs.

I was alone once, and by that I mean truly, utterly alone......completely disconnected from EVERYTHING......totally emotionally, physically and mentally isolated from every human being around me.

It was only then, in that moment of nothingness that I found out who I truly am.