Sometimes I'm sorry I woke up.

It's almost too depressing when one realizes just how awful things are. I sometimes wish I could return to thinking everything is just fine, that the government is taking care of its citizens like they are blood related, that taxes are good for fixing education, roads, etc., that rising costs are just 'how it is and how it is meant to be' and that wars are because 'sometimes people just don't get along and we must take out the villains to save ourselves and our honor' and etc etc etc.

I long for the innocence of childhood when all I had to be upset about was naptime and all I worried about was getting my swing during recess.

Anyone else ever regret waking up to the hell that is life? Or am I the only one who doesn't embrace knowing what's going on everywhere? I mean, to me, waking up meant more blackness, despair and hopelessness than having a bright sunshiny moment when all is clear and nothing to worry about any longer.

I hope this New Year will bring about the life changes the Mayans spoke of. I hope it does bring in peace and enlightenment and hope and dreams wished and achieved. If not, what's the point of waking up when all it does is make life worse to bear?

I think that everyone has felt like this at least once, especially those of us that are in the know!

But today is New Years Eve, and you can now make a mends for what makes you feel this way, this is going to be a great year, if you want it to be.

I wish you all the best, and don't worry about everything, if you know something that makes you feel down, just remember you have a heads up and can change the course, not many people out there can say that!

This year, love more, hug more, and take care of yourself.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I'm definitely working on improving my spirituality more and my empathy and helping others and putting others first, etc. It's a part of the 'waking up' that is predicted for this year. I'm all for making a full transition in to that. Sadly though I'm still trying to balance that with the ties of life: having to work and trying to find work so I can pay for what I need to survive, etc.

I was kind of hoping that whole idea of 'we're moving to a new dimension - out of 3D, into 4D' for 2012 was true. Imagine not having to work for money to survive any more. Too bad that's just a fantasy, hehe. A nice what if though. A really nice what if.

but I think by everyone becoming more 'in' to what's going on politically and war wise and so on, it just may help us put all that war stuff behind us at some point. Dunno. I have faith no matter how bad it gets. Things can't stay rotten evil forever. Evil only triumphs for so long before change comes about again.

Just wish I could sleep through the evil and come back with the change. But then again, that's selfish and lazy. I can't expect change if I avoid the bad which comes along with change. Nothing in life is a snap and fix situation sadly. If I survive this evil crap, I'll definitely enjoy the good much more.

reply to post by sarra1833


I hear you!

I was watching the new years fire works display at sydney, they announced they sent 7 million on fire works.

I thought how good it would be if we had a leader who said "Instead of spending 7 million this year, we will spend 1 million on fire works and give 6 million to the hungry and homeless kids of Australia"
who cares if new york or london has a better display, i'm sure most people would respect such a call.

"Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?"

So is the woe of the conspiracy theorist.
Though things were simpler before my eyes were opened, I don't think I would ever choose to rejoin the ranks of the sleeping.

reply to post by sarra1833


I completely agree. I wake each morning and jump online to see what horrible event took place while I was sleeping. I HATE feeling this way. I HATE the compulsion to do so. I think almost all day long about what to do if the SHTF for my family. I think of escape routes, where to find shelter, will there be checkpoints along our journey of escape, should I take my weapons, should I not pay my bills and buy extra food/supplies, etc. I am sick of it. Not to think this way scares me of being ignorant of reality. I can't win. Let's hope that 2012 brings peace, prosperity and enlightenment to us all.

reply to post by Dorian9


What gets me on here and in most news based forums, the moment someone posts rare good heartwarming news, people tear it up or discredit it, or mock it. It's like, are we THAT gluttonous for bad news? That on its own tears my heart apart. We'd rather read about the evils going on and post our two cents about killing them in return and bloodshed this and revenge that, but some kid gets their dad back for Christmas and it's just rotten and horrible because this and that. Or some teen dies on Christmas day but sends out a message on youtube a week before about life after death, and people tear it up. Or some one gives tons of food to their neighborhood and people tear it up.

I shake my head and wonder what in the world happened and when did it happen to where people piss on good deeds and find suspicion and hate in them, and welcome and encourage the bad - yet sit and whine about how it affects them later on.

Originally posted by FugitiveSoul
"Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?"

So is the woe of the conspiracy theorist.
Though things were simpler before my eyes were opened, I don't think I would ever choose to rejoin the ranks of the sleeping.

Yeah, it is a good/bad kind of thing and both sides have their good/bad - both waking and sleeping. I suppose I'm glad to be awake cuz I won't be caught off guard when whatever format of shtf literally htf like those sleeping will. Can you imagine going from 'Oh life is great, we're taken care of, we are protected' one minute to 'Government officials at your door, leave everything behind but yourselves and come with me. contact no one' and having mass confusion the next minute? I'd rather at least be glad I know what's going on so bs doesn't come as a HUGE surprise. :/

Then again, to be non aware and have bliss up to that moment and maybe even a week or so after would be good too. Just the sudden forcing of waking up and learning years of bs in 30 minutes would probably mind blow and destroy the sanity of the one being forced-awakened.

Hope I described that right. I know what I'm trying to get at but putting it in to words is hard. Guess its like 2 kids each have ice cream. One knows it will be taken away in 30 minutes. He has known this for ages. The other is blissfully unaware. Who's going to react differently for knowing vs unknowing? Who will enjoy it more, the one who's known this whole time or the one enjoying it as if nothing will change? They both win and lose. Just in different pov's.
That's a little better of an analogy I suppose.

I agree, I actually feel like I am at a point where I cannot relate to my family or friends. When you see peaceful protesters get beaten, have their jaw blown off, eyes gouged out. When you see officials get away with robbery and accuse the poor. When what makes us human gets stripped away piece by piece as people sit down every day to watch the latest TV program. It is hard to not become depressed, I care about the Earth and my hope for making the world positive is the only thing I have and I think we all share. Don’t let them get you down, we need to think of solutions, be positive because going to sleep or losing our minds means humanity has lost.

reply to post by OwenGP185


No truer sentence could be said. Long as we stay asleep, humanity is doomed.

I suppose we can't fix the bad if we're not knowing what it is. Can't plan ahead, can't figure out how to work to null it. With the bad comes the good. I hope that this year will prove to be the change written of all those centuries ago. I hope this is what they were talking about. I want to cling to any hope there is, no matter how out there it may sound. Even a thread of hope is worth hanging on for, right?

reply to post by sarra1833


I have felt as you do many many times... just dont loose what you have in your last paragraph, HOPE...

reply to post by -W1LL


Ah I won't, definitely not. It's the one thing no one can take away from me. They can take my possessions, my freedoms, but hope? No way.

reply to post by sarra1833


I remember when I was 10 all I had to worry about was being the tether ball champion, making my bed, and drying the dishes. Ah...those were the days!

I am awake and aware now...of what is really going on in the world...and right now unfortunately the outlook is bleak.

What keeps me going really is the love I have for my friends and family...that keeps me going. So I think...at least everyday I wake up to love.

To me this is a very frightening time in history....and love is what I have to hold on to.

Also....I really have a deep fondness for ATS and all of the community here. I do so appreciate (all of you)...yes even though at times (we agree do disagree).

Love and hope are my lifeboats...in these uncertain times.

Your thread sounds similar to Mary's about "dying in sleep".... Life can be complicated and tough. The scriptures mention something important about these days:

But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come

2 Timothy 3:1-5 Us- the whole world actually, is living in dangerous, perilous times.

As I mentioned to Mary, the same basic solution applies here as well. While not trying to sound redundant, I'm reposting the essence- to make sure that the relevant people viewing this thread only have a chance to read this as well.

You may want to 'die to the world', but be alive to a different one.... all while not physically dying. The world, is not the physical earth, but the system that dogs, or tries to dog, all of us. All the corrupt politics, the wars and rumors of wars, the predictions of disasters,..... I could go on and on, but you get the point. It can be overwhelming, if looked on from a negative perspective.

Here's some verses that relate to the dilemma.

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.

1 John 2:15-16

Maybe your being chosen by Jesus as well?

16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another. 18 “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world...

John 15:16-19a

If you're being chosen, then by definition 'the world' will not relate to a lot of what you communicate:

1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

1 John 3:1

If you're feeling a pull in this direction, pray to God and check out your local Assembly of God church. No, you don't have to go there for the rest of your life, but they are a good starting point.

Good luck with your future endeavors. I hope that this helps.