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Things Men Should Know About Women

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posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:11 AM
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Okay, I'm not sure what the post advising men as to womens' behaviors contains, but I have to take a whack at this:

What Men Need To Understand About Women
1. Men believe women can be very bossy, demanding men dress, speak and practice hygiene in specific ways. However, a woman, regardless of her defensive capacity such as martial arts degrees and firearm ownership, wants to know two things about her mate: (1) that he believes she can wield the powers of all that is feminine at-will thereby encompassing everything her man could ever need from a woman and (2) he won't take sh*t from nobody. If you've ever heard this conversation:

woman 1: "I tried telling Harold he needed to trash that awful Pac-Man relic in our garage, but he won't budge."
woman 2: "I tried telling Arnold he can't wear his pine-sap-covered flannel shirt for Christmas Eve, but he won't budge."

...then you need to understand these women are bragging. Bragging? Yes. Because we all know that if you'll back down from one of our demands which actually has no consequence, then you'll also back down from the hairy scary fellow offering you a $5 bill and his broken tractor in exchange for a night with your sweetheart, lest he stab you in the face. We test you. Just because we aren't cavemen anymore, and you won't need to defend our honor on a nightly basis, doesn't mean we can override the instinct to take your aggression for a test-drive in the event our lives depend on it.

2. Just as men try to make certain things look easy, women also try to make things look easy. Remember the time we left you to your own devices as you attempted to navigate us toward City Hall by crossing state lines (thrice?) and paying for an extra axel [we didn't have] at the toll booth? And the time you thought you were silently pick-axing the mayonnaise jar open in anticipation of our tuna-salad-laden gratitude? We knew you were struggling, but we allowed you to struggle with your honor intact. We do the same thing with the housecleaning and cooking. We try to make it look easy because we want you to believe you have coupled with the ultimate woman. But just like how you didn't make it to City Hall to pay that traffic ticket on-time because you were lost, there's sometimes a price to pay for making things look so easy. And for women, it happens between 9 and 11 at night. Right when total exhaust is setting in for us, and you gaze at UltiWoman hoping to turn her libido upside-down, you hear something odd. Muting the television, it sounds like a low growl. And as you run from one window to another, you realize the din is emanating from your sweetheart as she quietly snores. So when you see your sweetheart the next day, as she flits and flies from one task to another, ensuring you don't bathe with black mold, eat Doritos for dinner, or have your house quarantined by the Department of Health, please realize this isn't her attempt to arouse you with cascades of hair flying behind her as beads of sweat congregate on her brow. She needs help. Help her, hire a crew, or suffer the consequences.

3. Women know the difference between when men are trying to satisfy our request, and when men are hoping to never be asked to fulfill said request again. That way your eyebrows knit together and you practically wag your but like an anxious puppy tells us you hope you've performed well-beyond any standard we've dreamed up. It's that post-coital "how did I do?" face. You also do it right after you parallel-park us into a space the size of a postage stamp, when you teach the dog to fetch the remote, and when you buy us a gift you knew we wanted badly but would never buy for ourselves. And it's the absence of that look that gives it away. Standing next to the vacuum cleaner in the middle of a room without one vacuum-swirl on the carpet while asking us what we need next as you stare at the floor while spittle drips from the corner of your mouth tells us all we need to know: "I hope you never, ever, ask for my help with this." One day, we'll forget how to tell whether the glue in the bottom of the pot means the pasta's done and if that yellow toilet-water all over the bathroom floor means we need a plumber. Unless you convince us a vacuum cleaner isn't all that complicated to operate after all.

4. There once was a time, not too long ago, when we women needed you men, just so we could have rooves over our head and food on the table. That time has passed. You are no longer needed in order for us to survive. And there is something so much better than being needed: you're wanted. Revel in that. Embrace it. And understand what that means in terms of behaviors for which you will be forgiven. That list is much shorter than it was just forty years ago. It's much shorter than the one your dad had. And yes, to a degree, that means your dad had it a bit easier in a way. But he also knew there was a chance that he wasn't adored down to his tippy-toes - and that he was just necessary for survival. Still warm and fuzzy for dad's life?

5. Women compete with other women in an effort to land the mate who will make us feel as if we're the most beautiful and safe maiden in the land. We also know a woman with no female friends finds meeting new people difficult. When faced with a well-equipped female adversary, some women often ensure the adversary is friendless, almost ensuring she's mateless as well. This is cruel and immature. Learn to recognize these behaviors, and you will go far in finding a woman who at no point treats you with cruelty. Yeah, I know it's fun to watch a good old-fashioned verbal mud-wrestling match in an attempt to exercise our feminine wiles and land a date with you, but trust me, that avarice generates from a genuine place in her heart and you don't want to share your home with it.

...more to come...





edit on 12/22/2011 by chasingbrahman because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:21 AM
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Men usually switch off after the first sentence...



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:30 AM
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Originally posted by CrimsonMoon
Men usually switch off after the first sentence...


eHighFive for you my friend..........

.....real men don't need a second line



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:32 AM
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compare the length between the points of (men -> women) & (women -> men) and you will quickly notice how complicated women are. Where every single point of the other thread is crisp and sharp formulated, every single point here needs a 10liner. No offend against women! Just funny to see



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:34 AM
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I don’t mind if women have an opinion,

As long as they keep it to themselves



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:42 AM
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And women wonder why we are so stereotypical... but of course we know not all women are the same... In fact I'm sure most are wondering where the hell you get your results from... If I expected women to be like this I'd never want to date...

This thread is as stupid as one of those Lexus or Diamonds are forever commercials...
edit on 22-12-2011 by SmArTbEaTz because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 10:44 AM
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reply to post by chasingbrahman
 




This post is a perfect example of the Man's/Woman's brain funtion chart that was so popular in e-mails (man's brain: ball rolling straight from point A to point B / woman's brain looked like a devise from the mouse trap game). The men's list were a bunch of funny one liners. The woman's list only has five and it is like reading a book. disclaimer*** just joking and poking a little fun at the girls, no pun intended****




posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 11:01 AM
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reply to post by Turkenstein
 


I dare you not to steal my joke

This was a joke also



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 11:02 AM
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The difference between Women & Men is

Women want to find that ONE man who will fulfill all their hopes, wants, and desires….

Where men want ALL women to fulfill their one hope, want, and desire.

I love this joking around

Welcome to Man’s Town



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 11:08 AM
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Why do women convince themselves that they are so complicated?

I never understood it. Relationships are very simple. It's very easy to pick the right person, but all you need to do to make it work is to be generous with your time with one another. Also, never be reckless with someone else's heart, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

There must be a billion women on this planet that I could have a long happy relationship with. Stop overcomplicating things girls.

Peace



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 11:12 AM
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reply to post by chasingbrahman
 


women who want to get there point accross need to do so in short stright to the point sentences men will quit listining if it is dargged out with long explainations we dont need examples we are more intelligent than you give us credit for



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 11:46 AM
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Originally posted by Thundersmurf

Originally posted by CrimsonMoon
Men usually switch off after the first sentence...


eHighFive for you my friend..........

.....real men don't need a second line


Damn strait.


This is why men don't read that insipid Cathy comic strip. Way too many words.

After the first two sentences that come out of a woman's mouth, all we hear is "blah, blah, blah", kinda like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons.

If you want to teach men something about women, you have to keep it short and to the point or we'll lose interest fast. Either that or tattoo it on your breasts so we'll have something to read since all our attention is directed down there anyway.



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 11:47 AM
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As a men. I am not one who thinks women are that much complicated. Paying attention to their behavior since a couple of years now, I found out 2 major statements/realities about them.

First, their thinking is based on emotion (right brain/female thinking) which means if it is mastered enough can lead to disastrous results. (I am sure some women will understand what I am saying here).


Second, they all suffer to a different degree of insecurity (this is due on their thinking based on emotions).
Those women needs to trust their feelings, but the biggest challenge is to look at these in a logical way (left brain/male thinking).

I am no psychologist, but as a constant watcher of human nature and a man, women are not that much complicated when you really look at it in a logical way (yes guys, using our left brain/male side to understand these great creatures).

Some food for thoughts you all,






Thruthseek3r



posted on Dec, 22 2011 @ 12:38 PM
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Originally posted by Thundersmurf
Why do women convince themselves that they are so complicated?


Why? Humans (all humans) are highly complex, socio-dynamic creatures. So yeah, shiz gets complicated sometimes.

Seems simple to me ...

edit on 22-12-2011 by followtheevidence because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 01:48 PM
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Comparing the two threads, the men's points are short and succinct, while the women's are long rambling diatribes with no real meaning. Perfect example of logic VS emotion.

Just like in real life.



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