posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 11:38 PM
reply to post by freespirit1
This is going to sting a bit... but you brought it and claim to want "help". Sad fact is, right now, both of you are Married to alcohol, not each
other. I know that is not how it started, but that is where it be at. What ever you do to try and fix it without facing the underlying reasons why you
both drink... will just be another "fix". A new job, less drink, more together time, etc. Nothing can fix it unless you both seek rehabilitation,
separately. You are in the plunge already, without a parachute, just holding hands waiting to hit bottom.
It is time to seek out help individually by going to an AA meeting, standing up and telling what you just said here. Do it for you, for now. Listen
to the advice and check into a rehab until you can get sober. If you have been drinking to "smashdom" for 11 years, you will not be able to quit on
your own, let alone in the environment you are in. Neither will he. Both of you use each other as an excuse to drink right now, right? I am not saying
separate for good, take time out to get sober and then look to why you drink. What causes the pain that you hide from by drinking? Its not your hubby.
Neither does he really blame you.
But you cannot, will not find this out until you seek out and accept help from others who have been there done that before you. It will take time.
Do it for you, do it now. Tell him about it, then let him go his own way in that regard. You can't make him do anything you want him to. That is part
of the problem right now. Even if he threatens to leave unless you stay, still go for you. He will come around. Or not. Your life is at stake.
Get_to_a_meeting. There are ones nearby you at all hours. Walk in sit down, listen, then look for someone you can talk too. Ask for help.
I know, I was an addict / alcoholic for 35 years. I could put it off and deny it to myself for that long because I thought I was alone and unique.
And didn't think I had a problem that was "that bad". Or I could cut back, or get a job, etc. In the end, none of that worked. You have the benefit
of me finding that out before you and tellin you true. Save your marriage and your life by first saving you. Go now.