What church doesn't want you to know, page 1

Originally posted by FugitiveSoul
Yeah.... I'm not even Christian... nor any of the Abrahamic Religions for that matter...
but I'm pretty sure you just compared Jesus to Gort.

I'm afraid we're gonna need a source for that.

edit on 1-12-2011 by FugitiveSoul because: (no reason given)

I have recently made up my mind not to reply to any religious threads anymore. When I do I only get trashed talked. But I have to agree that I'd love to see your source on this.

OT: And of course the above quote "but I'm pretty sure you just compared Jesus to Gort" had me rolling on the floor.

Thank you FugitiveSoul for my best laugh of the day.

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 04:53 PM by Akragon

reply to post by WarJohn

I would be careful with saying the book of john is false...

Perhaps you might give examples of why you would think that?

Remember Jesus did not write these books... They are seperate accounts of Jesus from the authors understanding...

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 04:57 PM by abeverage

Wait a tick...which church doesn't want me to know? Oh and what powers this said robot?

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:01 PM by abeverage

Originally posted by FugitiveSoul
Yeah.... I'm not even Christian... nor any of the Abrahamic Religions for that matter...
but I'm pretty sure you just compared Jesus to Gort.

I'm afraid we're gonna need a source for that.

edit on 1-12-2011 by FugitiveSoul because: (no reason given)

Wait another tick...wasn't "Mr. Carpenter" (always loved that pun name) the comparison and Gort his servant? Well all I have to say now then is Klaatu Barata Nikto!

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:05 PM by annakin1

reply to post by subcsailor

very funny, so many people look into some freaky stuff, its scary, i feel if they spend so much time looking into stuff what time do they have for work etc? oh dear, I hope i see some stuff clearly and not sat around on some benefit and nothing to do...gotta go work to do lol

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:05 PM by Razimus

1. Teleportation is real.

I learned about teleportation at church.

2. 666 is fake.

I've never learned anything concerning 666 at church, except for the one passage that mentions it, and the exact meaning of that passage is a mystery because you need the spirit of prophecy to even understand it, but the book of Revelation was written by John the Beloved, and is a true book.

3. The Gospel according to John is a false book.

False. This is a true book by the Apostle John.

4. The Son of man is real, but he is a non-living robot soul that is able to get sent by "God" to do what "God" wants.

Bogus, where are you getting your facts, the terminator?

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:10 PM by diamondsmith

Originally posted by Razimus
1. Teleportation is real.

I learned about teleportation at church.

2. 666 is fake.

I've never learned anything concerning 666 at church, except for the one passage that mentions it, and the exact meaning of that passage is a mystery because you need the spirit of prophecy to even understand it, but the book of Revelation was written by John the Beloved, and is a true book.

3. The Gospel according to John is a false book.

False. This is a true book by the Apostle John.

4. The Son of man is real, but he is a non-living robot soul that is able to get sent by "God" to do what "God" wants.

Bogus, where are you getting your facts, the terminator?

666 The sixth angel,from the sixth sky,in the sixth day when God create the world Satan try to....

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:14 PM by pierregustavetoutant

"The Son of man is real, but he is a non-living robot soul that is able to get sent by "God" to do what "God" wants."

So John Connor is God?

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:31 PM by lonewolf19792000

reply to post by WarJohn

I can't stop

Man i'd believe project blue beam over that theory of the rapture.

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 05:56 PM by ShadowLink

I think some people should be denied Internet access based on their IQ level.
Gort, lmao!

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 07:07 PM by richierich931

reply to post by Akragon

They aren't even accounts written by witnesses, they are stories passed down orally from generation to generation. The bible as we know it today was processed by the same people who brought you The Inquisition. Unless you're down with burning 'witches' and homosexuals alive by the thousands.

It amazes me that people think that the bible is the definitive history of modern christian beliefs. It's a COPIED story from earlier Aramaic and Egyptian stories.

A few left out, original stories in the bible...

Baby Jesus, Dragon Slayer

And, lo, suddenly there came forth from the cave many dragons; and when the children saw them, they cried out in great terror. Then Jesus went down from the bosom of His mother, and stood on His feet before the dragons; and they adored Jesus, and thereafter retired.
-- The Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew, Chapter 18

Some kid bumps into little jesus and what happens?

Jesus was provoked and said unto him, "Thou shalt not finish thy course." And immediately he fell down and died.
-- Infancy Gospel of Thomas 4:1

Jesus blowing up a snake for doing what snakes do...

Then the Lord Jesus calling the serpent, it presently came forth and submitted to him; to whom he said, "Go and suck out all the poison which thou hast infused into that boy"; so the serpent crept to the boy, and took away all its poison again. Then the Lord Jesus cursed the serpent so that it immediately burst asunder, and died.
-- First Gospel of Infancy 18:13-16

Jesus is creating birds from mud, a child splashes some water with a stick.

"O evil, ungodly, and foolish one, what hurt did the pools and the waters do thee? Behold, now also thou shalt be withered like a tree, and shalt not bear leaves, neither root, nor fruit." And straightway that lad withered up wholly.
-- Infancy Gospel of Thomas 3:2-3

After killing children slaying dragons and blowing up snakes, the town of Nazareth gave Joseph a choice, make little jesus use his powers for good, or leave town. Jesus says,

"I know that these thy words are not thine: nevertheless for thy sake I will hold my peace: but they shall bear their punishment." And straightway they that accused him were smitten with blindness.
-- Infancy Gospel of Thomas 5:1

What a nice person!

A few more great lessons from the book.

Lot Has Drunken Sex In A Cave, With His Daughters.
Jacob Has Sex With Two Sisters and a Handmaid
Judah Wants To Do A Prostitute, Turns Out To Be His Daughter-in-Law
Giants Have Sex With Normal Women
God Lays Down Rules For Male Masturbation, Nothing about Females

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 07:42 PM by Akragon

reply to post by richierich931

You'll also find murder rape and torture within the pages of the bible...

The church has a huge history of violence in the name of God... They do not speak for everyone on scripture nor are they any authority.

Yes many texts were left out of the bible because they conflicted with the beliefs of what the church wanted to express... mainly control over the populous.

The infancy texts were left out because they revealed that Jesus was not perfect as they want you to believe... though many claim those texts were not valid because of their dating as well.

You have to look past the stories and find the truth within scripture my friend...

Find that truth, and you will understand why so many follow the man they called Jesus

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 07:51 PM by NOTurTypical

reply to post by Akragon

Lol, is the OP serious? I'm waiting for the punchline, but it's not coming..

Of course the first 3 gospels are alike and different from John. That's why we call them them the:

"SYNOPTIC" GOSPELS.

reply posted on 1-12-2011 @ 07:55 PM by Akragon

reply to post by NOTurTypical

If im not mistaken, the OP was the punchline...

though i could be wrong...