Obama News Conference at 11AM EST Today

www.washingtonpost.com...

Predicted bullet points for todays Obama news Conference proving once again that the White House and Washington are out of touch with the American people;

Obama: Occupy Wall Street we hear you, thats why my jobs bill is so important, Republicans are obstructionists, Republicans suck...first question

News Reporter: Mr President what did you know about "Fast and Furious" and when did you know it?

Obama: The original was much better than the sequel...Republicans suck, obstructionists...next question

News Reporter: Mr. President will you fire Eric Holder?

Obama: Eric Who? My Jobs bill create jobs, jobs and more jobs AND is a deficit reduction tool. The GAO said so, they just moved a couple zeros around (American people will never notice) and wala..instead of $447B in cost it's $100B in savings....Republicans and Tea Party suck, obstructionists.

Fox News Reporter: Mr. Presid...

Obama: Have that man arrested, he's a terrorist.

News Reporter: Mr. President what about reports of the White House harrassing Sharyl Attkisson who has been following the "Fast and Furious" story?

Obama: Sharryl who? My Jobs bill create jobs, jobs and more jobs AND is a deficit reduction tool. The GAO said so, they just moved a couple zeros around (American people will never notice) and wala..instead of $447B in cost it's $100B in savings....Republicans, Sharryl Attkisson and Tea Party suck, obstructionists.

Fox News Reporter: Mr. President as your approval rating steadily drops who do you consider your primary GOP opposition?

Obama: Is he still here...give me a gun and I'll shoot him myself...terrorist, terrorist. What do you mean by Primary? Did somebody tell Hillary she could come back from the Balkans?

My Jobs bill create jobs, jobs and more jobs AND is a deficit reduction tool. The GAO said so, they just moved a couple zeros around (American people will never notice) and wala..instead of $447B in cost it's $100B in savings....Republicans, Sharryl Attkisson, Hillary and Tea Party suck, obstructionists.

News Reporter: Mr. President how do you repsond to critics who say these are just more of the same previously failed policies from your administration.

Obama: OK I'll fire Eric Holder will that make you happy? That should make it all better.

News Reporters: Uh Mr. President the question was actually about your jobs bill this time...

Obama: My Jobs bill create jobs, jobs and more jobs AND is a deficit reduction tool. The GAO said so, they just moved a couple zeros around (American people will never notice) and wala..instead of $447B in cost it's $100B in savings....Republicans, Sharryl Attkisson, Hillary, Eric Holder and Tea Party suck, obstructionists.

Sharryl Attkisson: Mr. Presid...

Obama: NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!!!

reply to post by beanandginger


The sad thing is. Your not far off on this. This is pretty acurate.

Sad but true.

Ohh! Let's count the lies that flow from his mouth! Keep a tally!

Thanks for the laugh! It's funny because it's true!

You should have left a spoiler alert lol there's no need to even watch it now.

you are awesome.

S&F!

ah...you made my morning!

4th line.

reply to post by beanandginger


Pretty close, but you forgot a couple of things.

The Uh's....

The Um's....

The standard, "Let me be perfectly clear." line.

And the occasional, "This ain't about me, this is about the American people." line.


Health Warning!

Never play a drinkin’ game with this President. You’ll die from alcohol poisoning.

reply to post by TDawgRex


I'll bet before 11AM we could have his speech written on this site verbatim....come on everyone join in the fun!

That was good.
I could actually hear him annunciating each and every word as I read along.

Speaking of jobs, in classic opportunistic Obama style, he will probably try to throw himself into the top story of the day, Steve Jobs.

But then again, there is no other person more qualified than Obama that can talk about the subject on
The Death of Jobs.

reply to post by beanandginger


Yeah maybe Charlie Sheen and Alex Jones can help wri.....ooohhhhhhh...

Originally posted by Alxandro
That was good.
I could actually hear him annunciating each and every word as I read along.

Speaking of jobs, in classic opportunistic Obama style, he will probably try to throw himself into the top story of the day, Steve Jobs.

But then again, there is no other person more qualified than Obama that can talk about the subject on
The Death of Jobs.

Oh yea, I can hear it now....

Uh...while the death of Steve Jobs is a terrible and saddening event. I see this as a opportunity.

With his death, there is now a position open at Apple as people move up the ladder. This will help lower unemployment through a ripple effect.

Now let me be perfectly clear, I know it is just one job...uh, but it's a start in the right direction.

Now I know that this is a lot to ask, but if all truly patriotic elderly employed Americans would just follow Steves example and die, there would be positions opening all over America. And the recovery could begin.

more blamestorming I suppose


Wasn't it Goebals (sp) who said that in order to create truth you simply repeat the same lie over and over and over ?

reply to post by Alxandro


The late night comedians should have a field day.

I can hear Conan now "Obama lamented the loss of Steve Jobs today saying he 'knows the feeling of loss because he killed 401,000 jobs last month'."

Anybody know of a live feed?
2nd line(sorry)

Mr. President, do you honestly believe you can win re-election, and if not would you be willing to donate the now well over $100 MILLION in campaign funds you have to creating real jobs for the American people?

Originally posted by Fractured.Facade
Mr. President, do you honestly believe you can win re-election, and if not would you be willing to donate the now well over $100 MILLION in campaign funds you have to creating real jobs for the American people?

Thanks. Now I have to see if I can get all of the coffe off my monitor.

Notice the timing. He makes sure that he can get on the Noon news and doesn't interfere with the soap operas.

WOW! One of the posts of the day! You have it down so well you could run for potus, win, and gain two terms by default- you really did hit the nail on the head! I will not attend this press conference. This man only wants to hear himself speak things other men have written down. What does a man covet when he already has everything money can buy? Power! This is the only thing this man seeks; [Power in his eyes is control over others]
Nah not going to hear this conference. It will be a compilation of lies, deceit, and doubletalk. Followed by attacks on anyone that doesn't follow his commands.
DH

reply to post by beanandginger


"Obama: Occupy Wall Street we hear you, thats why my jobs bill is so important, Republicans are obstructionists, Republicans suck...first question"

Sounds like he is trying to woo voters and OWS supporters to his platform
We will see just how far he gets with that.

I dont get this bill..

There are 310(approximately) Million people in the US, this includes old and young babies and people almost ready to die..

Why do they need this much money for jobs? I dont get it...

Originally posted by beanandginger
reply to post by Alxandro

 

The late night comedians should have a field day.

I can hear Conan now "Obama lamented the loss of Steve Jobs today saying he 'knows the feeling of loss because he killed 401,000 jobs last month'."

Brilliant -- now I must clean the coffee off my keyboard...

star for you -- and thanks for the laugh