The War on Sex is Awful

reply to post by SpringHeeledJack


I've no comments to offer from the religious standpoint of this topic, but do agree that religions play an integral part in establishing what is acceptable & unacceptable in terms of sexuality (and many other things as well). As for the OP, it struck me as bordering dogmatism.

Thanks for the reply.

I love sex, I dont mind the the odd sex scene or naked woman on tv or in a movie, but not constantly, its in songs, music videos, every new tv show ( true blood, the tudors, confessions of a call girl, shameless, to name a few) sex scenes are now bordering on pornographic, theses scenes are there to turn people on, so what if family parents and mature teens are watching a tv program with a heavy sex scene it, is the intent to turn on the whole family, where are the family values gone from tv programs, now days if a tv show is totaly crap they just make it borderline pornographic,, and the main reason for this is the more we see sex on the tv , the more we hear about having sex in the songs we listen to, the less we see what is really going on in the world, people would probably do more for the victims of famine war and diasters if when ever we seen these people on the news at night the were having sex then we would pay attention, wake up people they are using sex to brain wash you to distract you to dumb you down sex is great sex is totely awsome , but is not everything there is more to life there is more to love there is more to there is more to women than just sex, the war on sex.. there is no war on sex there is a war on morality and family values, but if you want the next hit reality tv show to be Americas ( choose your country ) best preteen porn star please keep watching your tv moveis and music vids,

reply to post by Lucifersjester


Sex sells because we make it sell. It's bad because we define it as bad. It's that age-old argument of Europe vs the U.S. I recall a layover on the way to Iraq with some time off in Germany. Just sitting back with a beer at McDonald's watching commercials of naked women lathering up for a soap advertisement. It's just a matter of (I hate to use this word due to it's supernatural connotation on ATS) enlightenment on the part of the populace. Seeing that was nothing. No big deal.

It's all about sex...and If you wanna control somebody you use sex...it's our basic, completely natural drive in life...religion has heaped shame upon women for wantig to have sex, so the man has to work harder in order to get some. If sex were easy to get, no man on this planet would do sh!t. The inevitable happens when men don't get laid though...they turn violent and aggressive, psychotic even. Nearly every serial killer in America grew up in a strict religious household, where he was told his penis makes him a bad boy...The muslems even blow themselves up for ##SNIP## So religion killed 2 birds with one stone there...Make sex a shameful, sinful thing and you get obedient workers and obedient soldiers out of the deal...Religion seriously was like a psychological A-bomb on humanity and it's nuclear pollution can be felt, even in today's secular societies. Sex is a good thing...period. Completely outlaw religion and you'd see most sex-crimes dissappear within a decade, or two...also, corporation's use of sex in damn near every commercial,billboard would be far less effective at the very least and maybe even go broke. Which would be awesome.

Actually, there's a war on religion and the values associated with it.

reply to post by korathin


So true!
Woman. Have done a lot towards fighting for equality. Men should fight for their right for sexual tolerance.
Woman are attempting to control sex and label it immoral ifmitgoes against their childhood daydreams of flowers and princes and sweet build up to penetration

Sorry ladies , guys like it fast and often. Maybe it's time we make laws forcing woman to enjoy their sex the same way a guy does.

At the very least, make it a sex crime to try and legislate matters of sex. Legislators of sex are the biggest sickos out in the world todat

Why not fight a war WITH sex? We can show the governments the true horror of war! Lube grenades, Self heating oil bombs!

Off topic?

reply to post by Angelaisaac


A star for you, friend.

Commercial sex is, in my opinion, extremely un-titillating. When I was younger and more naive it was appealing, to be certain; half-naked women sipping Bacardi on an exotic beach, yum yum! But as I gained experience with actual intimacy (not that god-awful porny sex that so many people think is natural to apply to their own lives, my god that was the worst sex ever) I completely lost interest in mass-produced sex. I can't get any more aroused by a set of disembodied breasts than I am by a set of silverware. It's just meaningless without some sort of personal connection.

I have to say that I think porn has had some sort of negative effect on culture because of widespread sexual repression. When healthy sex is repressed and you are told that [healthy] sex is wicked and bad and makes you a "slut" (a word that really belongs in either porn or satires, not real life) what outlet do you have but porn? After all, sex is nasty, and so is porn! If you have sexual desires, you are a deviant... and that means you should love the unhealthy sexual relations prominent in porn!

There's a book that I ought to get from the library, having seen it at the store. Seems interesting! Mind you, I'm not anti-smut. I'm the kind of guy who makes the fairly meaningless distinction between porn and erotica, a distinction based entirely on whether or not I think that it depicts sex in good taste. Just so you know, "in good taste" does not mean sterile, boring sex. Crazy animalistic humping can also apply! As long as it doesn't make me uncomfortable by degrading one party or another.



P.S. There is absolutely a healthy way to use the words slut, bitch, even whore, but they have to be negotiated between partners because of the diverse emotional loads that each word carries.

wow - disturbing OP. really. Seems like a whiny rant to me about not having the freedoms to behave as wanted when it comes to sex and sexuality. But i will add my two cents in on the subject.

first off, sex is blatantly everywhere. it is hard to escape it, so if there is a war, we all know who is winning. I can't even let my girls listen to the radio in the car anymore because i have begun getting too many questions from my five year old about things i am not willing to answer.
Sex needs to be reigned in again. It needs to be taken from the children and locked away. if not until marraige, then at least until maturity/ adulthood. It needs to be wiped from television and music and movies or else the rating system needs to become both more severe, more enforced and with greater penalties. Sex is the ultimate pandora's box. It is wanted, oh to open that box! (sorry for the pun - not intended) but when the box is opened, only negative things fly out of it - unless the person opening it is in a committed, long term relationship, with the intention of remaining in that relationship forever. Anyone else that looks is doomed to unhappiness. Maybe it is different for men. They seem to be able to tell themselves that hey, for a minute there it feels really good, so i wanna do it all the time with everyone. I dont think many women would think that.
Sex is often disappointing, never feels as good as we have to make it look like, never leaves a woman feeling like a better person than before she did it. t just does not benefit from becoming just a thing, like sneezing in public or playing pool. It needs to be reserved. For special people and moments.
As for children - there should be laws on how parents are allowed to dress them. Right up until they graduate. They way young girls dress is really quite vulgar. And the parents never seem to step up and fix it.
as for gay marriage, that is just a big load of controversy for nothing! I think it is just a political noisemaker. The truth is, if gays want rights, let them file a marriage certificate. Who cares. give them the legal rights for taxes and whatnot. If they want a wedding - well, not in my church please. They can find a justice of the peace to do a civil ceremony, but as the act of homosexuality is sinful, i do not think gay marriages should be done in church.

reply to post by chrissiel123

I can't even let my girls listen to the radio in the car anymore because i have begun getting too many questions from my five year old about things i am not willing to answer.

Your daughters will suffer in the long term if you refuse to put things into context when they ask you to. They will have to look elsewhere. I sincerely doubt that you want your daughters to learn about sex from a stranger. How could you control their sexuality then?

Sex needs to be reigned in again. It needs to be taken from the children and locked away. if not until marraige, then at least until maturity/ adulthood.

Point and case: RELIGION.

Now, who decides when your daughters are mature enough to have sex? Obviously it must be you; after all, who knows their hearts better than someone other than themselves who is afraid of sex?

Sex is the ultimate pandora's box. It is wanted, oh to open that box! (sorry for the pun - not intended) but when the box is opened, only negative things fly out of it - unless the person opening it is in a committed, long term relationship, with the intention of remaining in that relationship forever.

I suspect that your religious upbringing has spoiled any enjoyment you could have derived from the simple act of Touch. As Salamandy has so wisely said in this very thread, the problem is your phony baloney expectation of what sex should be; your post demonstrates both a clear ignorance of what mature, healthy men actually want and enjoy, and your belief that sex should be as clean and boring as possible.

Sex is often disappointing, never feels as good as we have to make it look like, never leaves a woman feeling like a better person than before she did it.

Speak for yourself. I'm sorry that you have had a terrible, unfulfilling sex life but your hangups are no good reason to deprive your daughters and everyone else of sexual enjoyment. All of the women I have been intimate with have enjoyed it and had transcendent, ecstatic bliss. But then, I have never associated with women who were afraid of their own genitals!

There is no war against sex its everywhere!

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap


I think it depends on how old his daughters are before we jump to something.

reply to post by Salamandy


So you are on here crying that you think a very specific group of women are trying to dictate sex to everybody, but you are demonizing and dictating to them that because they are: 45,mothers, periomenopause and female and dehumanized and belittled them in the process, making them lesser members of society.
If anyone is doing this, most likely they have teens and they don't want their kids to get hurt. Oh the horror.
I sense you just have issues with your own mother.

reply to post by korathin


You are right, these periodic 'moral' revolutions do seem to originate with the right-wing matriarchy. Consider the Prohibitionists; they wanted to abolish liquor because of the negative effect it had on 'male virtue.' In particular they protested men who would get drunk, beat their wives, spend their meagre paycheck on more liquor, and beat their kids next.

I think that these were well-meaning women, but they were victims of trauma and not to be trusted to have healthy opinions. Of course, as a victim, they would be acutely aware of the problems of spousal abuse. They would also, incorrectly, home in on liquor as the cause of the problem. The problem was not that beer made their husbands abusive. They were abusive men and lubricated their passions with beer. These well-meaning but traumatized women would have felt justified in decrying the evils of alcohol and I don't think that we can or should blame them, although we ought to hold them responsible. They falsely accused men in general of being drunken beasts when it was just the men that they knew who were at fault.

The right-wing matriarchy was also at the heart of the anti-sexual revolution of the 70s and 80s up to today. I am thinking of Phyllis "Marital Rape is impossible" Schlafly, here. Maybe she is more vindictive than anything else, I am wont to believe that because she is a very nasty lady.

Of course, when crappy men go to work or the bar and leave their battered/neglected/exploited wives alone with the kids, they are free to abuse the children any way they see fit. Punishing them to teach them morals, that's the kind of thing I mean. Training sons to feel like pigs for liking a girl; training daughters to feel like sluts for liking a boy.

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap


bwahaha - you are so wrong it is is funny. First off, my daughters are two and five. They are not old enough to be exposed to the types of sexual references that are in music and tv. It is not a matter of asking where babies come from or why mommies and daddies kiss, we are talking about promiscuous sexuality before they have even learned the basics. Do not worry yourself over the future of my daughters. When that are old enough for certain information it will be revealed to them in ways that are age appropriate. I will not sit down with them and explain some of the lyrics i hear in music, that is just disturbing.
As for religion playing a role in my stunted sex life, sorry, you are wrong again. Religion taught me to anticipate what was to come between husband and wife. I was rather looking forward to that. It was going to be fun, functional and bonding. If i have changed my mind about sex, do not delude yourself into thinking it was religion that did it. It was men, to be very honest. My first husband never wanted any, never talked about it, never seemed to enjoy it. I think there were some homosexual issues there with him possibly, i dont know. Trying to talk about it did not help. He had his hangups for sure.
My second partner, whom I kept commonlaw after the first divorce for my own reasons, was the opposite. He wanted porn style sex all the time, every day. I had to "perform", being criticized if the noises werent right or if i didnt "look" like i was having a fun enough time. So no, sex has amounted to very little to me. At first I was upset by this, but as i step back and look at the whole picture, I see it differently now anyway, and am fine with the whole thing. Sex is a physical thing. It is a way to make babies, can be enjoyable with the right person in the right circumstances. But that is about it. It is not "cosmic" or "divine" it is just a basic animal function. If people think it is anything more than that, well, they are welcome to their fantasy, but the reality is it is for procreation. we are in fact no different from animals.
I just think it has no place outside of bedrooms. Society paints a false picture of what it is for, what it should look like and how it should be regarded. It sets people up for disappointments in life when it turns out to be nothing like they expected.
sex is a thing, like sneezing or taking a crap. It is just a bit more fun and only feels slightly nicer. BEtween a committed man and woman it can be great. Treated with respect and approached the right way can make it great. But it just doesnt belong on the radio at 8am driving my girls to preschool. It doesnt belong on evening family television. what is wrong about keeping it behind doors where it is supposed to be? A sweet mystery of life that we all earn entry into when we are of age? You would have sex be nothing more than a casual way to pass some time. "Hey want to go shoot some pool or just stay here and have sex"' Do you not see that that just cheapens it, devalues it. Family is already under fire and failing. People like you are making it less attractive to get and stay married by taking away the things that made marriage work. Why bother getting married when it is more socially acceptable to just run around an have sex where ever with whom ever?

reply to post by Viking9019


thank you - my daughters are two and five. Very young. too young for the lyrics out there. And i am not saying i will not educate my children. But i am not going to start with lessons about casual sex and promiscuity, often associated with partying all night and drinking and such, before i have a chance to lay down the foundation of their sexual education. When they are older. I will know they are ready because they will ask questions they have come up with on their own, not questions directly related to nasty lyrics they just heard.

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap

"Of course, when crappy men go to work or the bar and leave their battered/neglected/exploited wives alone with the kids, they are free to abuse the children any way they see fit. Punishing them to teach them morals, that's the kind of thing I mean. Training sons to feel like pigs for liking a girl; training daughters to feel like sluts for liking a boy.
"
good grief where do you get this stuff from? I agree with a previous poster in that you just have mother issues! No one treats their children like that. If i had a son I would warmly encourage him to have an interest in girls - a healthy interest that was age appropriate of course. And my girls are encouraged to like boys, or will be when they begin to show an interest in them. I will not make them feel like sluts for this, as it is natural and normal and i would prefer it to them deciding they have an interest in other girls. I do not condone however, them using their bodies as a tool to get attention from boys. They will not be allowed to dress provacatively, to wear skimpy clothes, low riding pants, thongs, etc. They will be forbidden to behave that way from day one. When they go to college and leave home, they will be free to learn for themselves how unsatisfying that type of lifestyle really is, but they will not learn it under my own roof. They will dress conservatively, and if they want attention from boys they will need to be creative and think outside the sex box by coming up with ways that do not invove slutty dressing to get their attention. They have minds too you know. If they do not learn how to use them while they are growing u they never will. You can criticize me all you want, but I am correct in feeling this way. There is no need for them to dress innappropriately while still in school. If they try, I will discipline them, but I am lucky to live in a rural area where it is not really tolerated at such young ages like it is in the city. It is high school I worry about, and I foresee a lot of arguments between me and my children. But parenting isnt easy, and at the end of their lives, I dont think any woman lays on her deathbed and sighs, saying "if only I had spent more time as a child acting like a slut" I would bet, however that a good many women look back on their lives and wish they had lived their youth with a bit more respect, dignity and conservatism. Kids dont get STD's and teen pregnancies by acting properly and age appropriate.

You lot can't see the wood for the trees. If there's a family living together under one roof, how much revenue for the government is there? Now...if the family has split up, and is living under different roofs...how much revenue is there now? I garantee the government gets more money from the split up family...and that they are easier to control cos theres no support for them.

reply to post by chrissiel123


Nicely put.