Here are some of my favorites from Hubby:
Me: Honey, the drain is clogged and I don't know what to do. Can you please help?
Him: Sure, Honey. In a minute.
What he really just said: Bugger off woman, you have a better chance of bringing peace to the middle east than you do of having me fixing the
Me: [Looks absolutely dreadful after a long day of house cleaning, errand running, and child watching].
Hubby: [Walking in the door] You look BEAUTIFUL!
What he really just said: You look like hammered hell but I need to butter you up because I invited my parents for dinner and they'll be here in 15
minutes. Hope you made enough for everyone.
Hubby: I just want to hold you.
What he really just said: And then we'll be having sex.
Hubby: I love the way you look without make-up. You don't need it.
What he really just said: But... um... you're still going to put some on, right? Please?
I don't call it cowardice. I call it 'fight avoidance.'