Alone

How could this have happened? I fail to understand, how my precious baby has slipped from my hand. I promised her on day one that she would be safe. Yet here I am all alone. She is gone from my life. My whole life has been one big disaster after another. Everyone I have loved has been stolen from me. I do not understand why and I demand answers.

Why me, God? Why my Mom? Why my baby girl!? I can understand punishing me if I am bad, but why must you involve other people? I do not understand. How could a loving god allow this to happen? What kind of a monster are you?

You sit there and laugh as I am tortured as a child. You stand by and watch as my dad destroys my Mom. Now this. God, how can you do this to me? What have I done to make you so angry with me? I am sorry! I am sorry! Please forgive me and stop this punishment. I cannot take it one more second!

My baby! You stole her from me! She is only three years old. She is innocent and pure. She has done nothing! I am all she has and she is all I have. Please God! We need each other. Do not separate us!

You win! I am broken! You have broken me, physically emotionally and spiritually. It took you 23 years but you win. Now please stop! I am begging you. Stop the punishment. I do not even know what the hell I did to deserve this punishment. It must have been pretty horrible though. Was I Hitler in my last life?

Well what ever it is. God I hope you are not real. Because if so I hate you! You are evil and sick and twisted, if you can do this to a person. You, are far worse than Hitler, of this I am sure. Yes, Hitler committed Genocide and tried to wipe out an entire people. But YOU. You have killed, maimed, injured and destroyed all things, with out prejudice.

You seem to get off on pain and suffering. What is wrong with you? No true God would do this. So I think either you are an imposter or you do not even exist. No true God, would allow this to happen to people. I want my baby back! You can have everything! You can take it all, All I need is my baby. Please! Oh God.

I want this pillow to turn into her. I want her here right now! It smells just like her. I can’t take this. I am broken. Please…. Some one… Help me. I am helpless. For the first time in my life I have no idea if I will ever be okay. I have been through the worst of the worst abuse. The things I have survived has shocked even the most experiences social workers… But this…. This is the worst pain I have ever felt and I don’t know if I can make it.


I want to hold her. I want to hug her. I want to kiss her. I want to tell her I love her. I want her in my arms. I want her. I don’t know what to do! I just keep sitting here. Watching as everyone goes around me. It all happened so fast. I can’t take it anymore! How is this fair? How is the right? Why her? Why a baby!? Why not me?

Take me! Take me so that she can live! I lived a full life! Let her live! Some one! Just bring her back! God. I am so helpless I cant protect my baby anymore. I miss her. I have failed. I always do. Everyone who I have ever loved has died, because I have failed on one level or another. My dad was right, wasn’t he?

I am just a waste of life. I am not good enough. I don’t deserve to be here. I bring nothing but pain and suffering to everyone around me…. Yet I remain, and everyone around me dies off like flies. I just want to love some one. I want to be loved back. I want that and I don’t want to be alone.

Don’t make me be alone. God. Please? I can’t handle being alone. Bring her back to me, please? Just bring her back to me. Am I even talking to anyone? Am I just talking to no one? Does anyone even care? Who the *SNIP* is out there, and why the hell is this happening? Hello? Anyone?

I guess I am alone now. I’m so sorry. Whatever I did. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me anymore. Please? Some one? Anyone? *SNIP*, I really am alone……. Ouch.


Mod Edit: Profanity/Circumvention Of Censors – Please Review This Link.

That was absolutely powerful. I really do not know what to say even on a personal level, I'm sure all of have been at that point were we ask the Universe, World, God, etc why thing's like this happen. I feel like we are all here for a reason and the character feels like everything has been taken from them.

Even if the character was completely fabricated, I still feel like you should let them know to keep on going and never stop searching for anwsers, Maybe in a next short story?

Never.Give.Up

Oh and mods, I am SO sorry. I completely forgot that there was a cuss word or two in here. My mistake.!

reply to post by EmpathicStorm


I am really glad you liked it... The premise of this short story is that a man has just lost his daughter... A single dad. Just him and her.... And this was inspired by something I saw on the news once. A man had just found out that his daughter had been raped and killed and understandably, he collapsed and just broke down.

I put myself into his shoes.... Wondered what I would feel, think, say?

I also mixed in a quite a bit of my own real life.... to make it more personal and... Well, this is the result.

I am so happy you like it.

Sorta sounds like the book "The Shack". After his young daughter is kidnapped and murdered and her body wasn't found, he becomes angry with God. Although in the book, God is called Mama. Also, the main character in this book was abused by his father. Beat his mother too. It is an excellent read if you haven't read it already.


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reply to post by gimme_some_truth


If this isn't how you feel, please continue the story.

However, I too wander this world alone. I consider it a adventure. I have had friends and family pass on and have grieved their loss, but I move on as I know they would wanted me too.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Originally posted by TDawgRex
reply to post by gimme_some_truth

 

If this isn't how you feel, please continue the story.

However, I too wander this world alone. I consider it a adventure. I have had friends and family pass on and have grieved their loss, but I move on as I know they would wanted me too.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Deep down it is a fictional representation that symbolizes how I feel.

Originally posted by gimme_some_truth

Originally posted by TDawgRex
reply to post by gimme_some_truth

 

If this isn't how you feel, please continue the story.

However, I too wander this world alone. I consider it a adventure. I have had friends and family pass on and have grieved their loss, but I move on as I know they would wanted me too.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Deep down it is a fictional representation that symbolizes how I feel.

I also wish to add, that this piece is done... For now... I write until I feel it is done and I feel this is done... So I doubt I will go back and add more, or a sequel or what have you.... But you never know.

I'm curious as to why you chose a very negative story? You could just as easily written a happy, uplifting story that might have actually helped brighten someones day and left your reader feeling at peace.

Thanks OP.

Not fictional for all of us.

The God thing...

First. rename the beast something disrespectful, like "Schmod".

Yes, NO respect. I mean ZERO.

Next, when you step out into the morning air, be it a beautiful day, or not, put your finger in the air. That will feel good after a while. Trust me.

Finally, every now and then, just make sure to keep tanked-up...

REMEMBER

Remember that suddenly empty swing, so still, so mocking.

Remember when you tore it down...For the wife, who could no longer bear looking at it...

Because you could no longer bear her crying.

Remember the monstrous empty hole in your middle, that nothing could fill.

Remember a whole world that did not come close to comprehending.

And then SWEAR, to never again entertain the childish notion of a "good" god.

Santa Claus isn't real anymore...What a shame.

But knowing is not enough!

From now on, you are "his" sworn enemy!

The simpletons all around you, who still imagine a "good" god, you shall seek to disabuse of such childish notions.

A poison you shall be, in their midst.

Even the parish priest, who has sacrificed his life, in service to this god, you shall not spare! You shall learn the things he knows, and then some, and he shall hear them, and his former vocation, shall turn to ashes in his mouth!

And you shall bravely stare into the abyss, and laugh when it stares back!

Don't worry! All who have experienced what I have, feel free to cross the threshold!

True, dark figures beyond this doorway of the Abyss do bind, and chain. You might as well know.

No, you can never go back.

But there is no sweeter satisfaction, then to spit upon the One who has made this Hell, and feel absolutely no regret.

Perhaps there is a god, but the Christians have it right...Crucify him!

JR

reply to post by gimme_some_truth


Beautifully written.

Second line.

Dunno why the hell I am replying but you had someone that cared and you pushed them away. So I can't help but wonder how many others you have pushed away too. In my own observatons..... people may hate you for scarring them in return as you have been scarred but meh this is just a fictional story so I shall leave it at that. Oh and don't bother replying to this and don't try calling me. I've moved on and I'm fine and no I don't hate you. Just what you did to me.

Nice story, but I don't understand why people blame God for their problems.

The problems that you suffer from are problems you make.

You have free will, God does not micro-manage peoples lives.

No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions anymore, always looking for something to blame it on.

Originally posted by Kaiju
I'm curious as to why you chose a very negative story? You could just as easily written a happy, uplifting story that might have actually helped brighten someones day and left your reader feeling at peace.

Great question! Simply put, it's all about inspiration. Consider what I was pulling inspiration from, a story of a dad who just lost his daughter and broke down.... I was inspired to write what I feel would go through my head, had it happened to me, so that is what I wrote.

Peace and love.

Originally posted by JR MacBeth
Thanks OP.

Not fictional for all of us.

The God thing...

First. rename the beast something disrespectful, like "Schmod".

Yes, NO respect. I mean ZERO.

Next, when you step out into the morning air, be it a beautiful day, or not, put your finger in the air. That will feel good after a while. Trust me.

Finally, every now and then, just make sure to keep tanked-up...

REMEMBER

Remember that suddenly empty swing, so still, so mocking.

Remember when you tore it down...For the wife, who could no longer bear looking at it...

Because you could no longer bear her crying.

Remember the monstrous empty hole in your middle, that nothing could fill.

Remember a whole world that did not come close to comprehending.

And then SWEAR, to never again entertain the childish notion of a "good" god.

Santa Claus isn't real anymore...What a shame.

But knowing is not enough!

From now on, you are "his" sworn enemy!

The simpletons all around you, who still imagine a "good" god, you shall seek to disabuse of such childish notions.

A poison you shall be, in their midst.

Even the parish priest, who has sacrificed his life, in service to this god, you shall not spare! You shall learn the things he knows, and then some, and he shall hear them, and his former vocation, shall turn to ashes in his mouth!

And you shall bravely stare into the abyss, and laugh when it stares back!

Don't worry! All who have experienced what I have, feel free to cross the threshold!

True, dark figures beyond this doorway of the Abyss do bind, and chain. You might as well know.

No, you can never go back.

But there is no sweeter satisfaction, then to spit upon the One who has made this Hell, and feel absolutely no regret.

Perhaps there is a god, but the Christians have it right...Crucify him!

JR

I really like your take on it. Thank you as well!.

I will admit, I have not put that much thought into it, and I should have seen the potential debate about God coming up.

Let me just state this to everyone. I do believe in God. I do believe in an after life, but I do not follow any one religion. I follow what feels right in my heart.

So, take that for what it is worth, and please, continue enjoying.

Originally posted by ofhumandescent
reply to post by gimme_some_truth

 

Beautifully written.

Second line.

Thank you so much. That means so much to me.

Originally posted by ANOK
Nice story, but I don't understand why people blame God for their problems.

The problems that you suffer from are problems you make.

You have free will, God does not micro-manage peoples lives.

No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions anymore, always looking for something to blame it on.

That is very true. I completely agree with you and I wrote the thing. Go figure, huh?

Well, like I said, I do believe in God and an afterlife, but I do not follow any one religion. I was raised Episcopal, but I follow what feels right in my heart....

What I wrote, was a sort of.... What if.... What if it happened to me, what would I think? And in this story of what I would think, I apparently fell back into my old ways, if you will, and blamed God.....

Hey, growing up so many are taught, that he is responsible for everything, so it just seems natural to blame him, even though, I don't believe any God interferes in our lives at all....

I am loving this thread. It has opened up a bit of a conversation about God of all things it seems. Something, I did not expect.

reply to post by gimme_some_truth


In order to write that well it must come from the heart.

If you are in that much pain, a possible solution is to get out and reconnect with nature and also maybe volunteer to help someone less fortunate than you.

For me, doing something nice, helping others out, is like therapy.

More than ever, even though your soul feel heavy, try to listen to uplifting music, watch only stuff that brings you up vs down...............you can fall off the cliff if you hang around the edge too long.

Hope this is helpful.

Safe journey.

Also, you might be a first or second wave - a wanderer, which is why you are so empathetic.

reply to post by gimme_some_truth


So glad you took it that way. I thought my comments might have been a bit mean after I wrote it lol. Didn't mean to be mean of course.

What was it Dr. Winston O. Boogie said? God is the concept by which we measure our pain?

But you were right to include it in the story though, don't get me wrong, as that is what people do. God is not even on peoples minds when life is a peach.

reply to post by ofhumandescent



You know, I am becoming more and more proud of this little bitty thread. Everyone is adding so many great thoughts. I cannot thank each of you enough.

Now first, thank you. When you refer to my work and say "In order to write that well", this means the world to me. I love writing and would love to one day be one of the lucky few to have a successful writing career.

You offer fantastic advice for those who are in great pain. Get out and reconnect with nature. Volunteer, help others in need and you will feel so much better...there is a certain satisfaction that comes with that, and it really makes you feel proud, useful, happy, needed.

Doing those things truly is therapeutic...

Your post is more helpful than you know.

Not just to me, but to all those who will read it.

Now, I am listening to the video you posted as I write this. I have not really heard of first or second wavers so I cannot comment on that much, but so far, it sounds like a very amazing possibility.

Thanks!