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I just can't take it anymore. I thought I could but I can't.

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posted on May, 20 2011 @ 05:25 AM
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Hi. I'm in Japan, like some of you. But not for much longer.

If you want to read the backstory on who I am and what I am doing here you can read it here, not that it matters very much. I'm just a human being from America who happened to be here and I am still here.

Today's quake was what did me in. I thought we had come through all those aftershocks and then suddenly there was a huge quake this morning. It's never going to end, I thought. And then It's never going to end its never going to end itsnevergoingtoenditsnevergoingtoend.... And then I was crying for the whole morning.

I don't know how you people can stand it. I tried, I really did. I'm sorry, Japan. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. I feel sick about the whole thing.

I know there are other people on this board in Japan but I can'T remember any names or anything so if you are here could you post in this thread just so I know which members are? Or mabye somebody else could tell me.] Because I want these people to be told how brave they are. And I'm sorry I can't be one of you anymore.




posted on May, 20 2011 @ 05:31 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Explanation: Wise Idea!




Personal Disclosure: I don't blame you!



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 05:40 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Hi Partygirl, you are much stronger than you think. Never let fear get into your essence. It is like a virus!
If you really have an intution that Japan is not the place for you to be at the moment, move. I can understand your thoughts and reactions. The more you look at a problem, the greater the problem becomes. Go within and meditate a while. Use your inner instincts not fear to guide you. We are all with you and I am sure the support of many on ATS here. I'm in the UK with my family. If you really have no where to go, you can always come here.

Don't leave ATS, birds of a feather, flock together.
With love and Peace.
edit on 20-5-2011 by peacefulwarrior3 because: incorrect spelling



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 05:43 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Explanation: Do you require any help such as looking for best routes to evacuate by?

Have you contacted your Morman Missionary support organization?

Have you contacted the US embassy for support and information?

Personal Disclosure: Your well being is of paramount importance! Please take care and don't panic!



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 05:53 AM
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Well according to Harold Camping it doesn't matter where you go now.

Seriously though, I know someone in Christchurch New Zealand and the groiund does not stop shaking and it is fraying her nerves somewhat.

Shift somewhere safe like..... well there isn't anywhere safe is there!



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:01 AM
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Thank you all so much for replying so quickly and making me feel cheered up!

reply to post by peacefulwarrior3
 

Thank you so much your words were so very kind and made me feel better. I won't leave this board but I will leave Japan.

reply to post by OmegaLogos
 

And thank you so much for making me smile with the first post and your concern in the second one. I am all squared away and ready to go tomorrow. I just need to make it through the night.


reply to post by daggyz
 

Thanks for the info, I will look into Mr. Camping but I've never heard of him before. Your friend in New Zealand is correct, this is what did me in, the constant shaking, even worse than the fear of radiation.
I don't speak Japanese very well so I don't know how people are doing but I look around and the Japanese seem so calm to me, I can't beleive it!!! Why isn't this whole country insane from fear and stress yet? How can people be going on with their lives? And yet they do.

Anyway I feel stupid complaining. The people in the Northeast are the ones who really deserve the attention.
edit on 20-5-2011 by Partygirl because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:06 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Hi partygirl, I am one of your poster at your other thread. I was the one who ask those who has connection in japan to try to help you out with accommodation with the japanese families.
May I advice you to go somewhere else away from japan. Part of the japan peninsula is destined to slide into the ocean in the near future. The radiation problems are being covered up so we do not really know how the situation is in tokyo.



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:11 AM
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reply to post by 1Starman
 


Thank you for your concern and replies! It is very kind of you.

Yes, I think you are right, I have a very bad fear about what will happen soon if all this keeps going on. Do you really think it will slide off?



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:15 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Young lady, just remember that even making the effort to being there is more than most have accomplished.
Go with a happy heart, if you've only touched 1 life then your trip was a success.
Beezzer



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:22 AM
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Originally posted by Partygirl
reply to post by 1Starman
 


Thank you for your concern and replies! It is very kind of you.

Yes, I think you are right, I have a very bad fear about what will happen soon if all this keeps going on. Do you really think it will slide off?

Yes,the eastern part of japan is on a fault and a major EQ will do it. This also applies to california.
I have sent U a U2U message.



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:29 AM
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We left awhile ago. Most of my inlaws have followed. My wife and I may never go back. It's a shame. I'm rather bent about the entire deal. Iwaki was the only city I had ever felt happy to live in.



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:47 AM
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Reading between the lines, I think perhaps you feel guilty about your decision, on top of whatever fear and whatnot you are experiencing. This is a common reaction among those who experience something traumatic. Perhaps you feel guilty because you are alive while so many others are dead. Perhaps you feel guilty because you set a noble, lofty goal for yourself and are still too young to know what is and is not within your power. Perhaps it's something else. But listen, this is very important: Do not let that feeling dominate your inner life in the days ahead. You have nothing at all to feel guilty about. You stuck it out far longer than most.

But more importantly, according to the post you linked to above anyway, it seems that your intentions in remaining are noble and humanitarian. That alone is worth more than any amount of raw courage.

Anyway, what is somebody with a name like "Partygirl" doing hanging out with a bunch of losers like us on her last night in Japan instead of hitting the clubs in Roppongi or Azabu? If that really is your pic in the Avatar I'm guessing you won't have to pay for drinks.
Do something nice for yourself before you leave, because permanent memory of any place or experience is colored exceptionally strongly by both first and last impressions.

Best wishes for a safe and plesant trip home (or wherever your destination is).

edit on 5/20/11 by silent thunder because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 06:58 AM
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reply to post by beezzer
 


Thank you for your wisdom. I don't feel good about anything that has happened, but I will do my best to do good from wherever I end up.

reply to post by tamusan
 


I'm sorry to hear that...Are you and/or your wife Japanese? Where did you go and how does it feel now?

reply to post by silent thunder
 


wow that was an amazing post. I *am* feeling guilty. you are correct. But I didn't even think of it until you mentioned it. But now that you mention it, I can see it is true. How strange. I have to think about that.
Roppongi...lol...I will miss Gas Panic. It kept me sane these last few weeks...


edit on 20-5-2011 by Partygirl because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 07:17 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


My wife is Japanese, and I'm American. We are in Oregon on the west coast of the U.S. for now. I've read not to drink milk or use other products here, but I don't know how true it is.

I recognize that I am very lucky, because I have no cash flow issues. I am retired from the military and had been operating a successful business. We are finding the lower cost of housing in the United States to be convenient to our situation. I don't know what the future holds for me financially now, given the dismal state of the U.S. economy. Luckily, I have proven to be a saver and not a spender.

Overall I am angry, but there would certainly be something else waiting to take credit for that, if the radiation was not my biggest thorn. I don't know who to believe really. I have no reason to trust the government here in the U.S. I am also in shock because I used to trust the Japanese government.



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 07:19 AM
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reply to post by silent thunder
 


I know you weren't directing your post at me, but yeah, the guilt for leaving is rather heavy. Then again, I can't do anything to help.
edit on 20-5-2011 by tamusan because: oops. i said for not leaving. i left...



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 10:39 AM
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reply to post by tamusan
 


Let me ask you this: what was the hardest thing for you about leaving or returning?



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 11:37 AM
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You may think that it is hard for you to leave them,but if you get sick from the infections of the radiation,you are not of use to them. There are many ways that you can help but you must be fit and away from the dangers. People may not believe in destiny(fate) but those who are destine to survive will be saved. The end of this cycle of evolution of the civilisation of this era is near and you have to prepare to be a part of those who are humble and caring to help rebuilt the new civilisation of the Golden age. You can help to awaken those who will listen and guide them to the safe places.
Takayama is in the gifu perfecture mountain range and many knows about the place I told you in the u2u msg.

edit on 20-5-2011 by 1Starman because: correction



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 12:17 PM
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How do you empty the guilt, ? by accepting were human, we as humans beings have always had to suffer, gult is just thoughts trying to tell us otherwise, and being human we survive to live and live to survive. It will pass.

Godspeed.



posted on May, 20 2011 @ 11:01 PM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


The hardest thing about leaving is that I had planned to spend the rest of my days in Iwaki. It may still happen or I can hope. The hardest part about going back is I won't trust what I read or hear. I expect most of the things I liked about living in Japan will change. Radiation is getting into the ecosystem and contaminating the fish, for instance. I miss our family and friends who have not been able to leave.
edit on 20-5-2011 by tamusan because: missed a punctuation mark



posted on May, 21 2011 @ 12:56 AM
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For those of you that are unaware of previous "party Girl" posts her last one centered on another of her sick delusions. It was the one where this person asserted that "it's time for the young to take charge of the world" or some such nonsense.

I'm surprised this person can even spell Japan and I bet she couldn't find it on a map. If anyone thinks this nitwit is in Japan you're welcome to it. Goodbye.



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