hi I'm gabby

Just wanted to introduce myself. My son tuned me into conspiracy theories, though I had heard of 911 being a conspiracy long before. But it was through him that I began searching and reading about 911, then the NWO.

I stumbled upon Svali and all her links on the biblioteceplayes website, and from there, so much more. Read Cathy O'brians stuff, as well as Bryce. I read for 14 hours a day for months, and what an eye opener I got. Hence to say I got very depressed, and was also very angry that most people I knew could not see the manipulation and lies.

I have since calmed down alot (thank goodnes), but fight depression and some paranoia every day. The hardest part was reading about all the mind control ,and child porn and beastiality that goes on . It was heartbreaking, and I try not to think about it too much, cause it makes me so sad. Its sad when you can't trust the political leaders in this world, or the people who run our healthcare, and especially some of our religious organizations.

I am struggling everyday with my faith in a "good" God, but I know there are good people, so I keep trying to have hope in decency and love.

My apologies for a long introduction, but just thought I'd let you know a bit about me.
(not always gabby..lol..trying not to be ...its more a short version name of my favorite archangel)..though I'm really not sure if it really exists..but hoping so

Never apologize for a good meaty introduction

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~Keeper

Hello Gabby

I'm Eric

Welcome to ATS!

reply to post by tothetenthpower


thankyou for the welcome and the guidelines, much appreciated

reply to post by gabby2011


Hi gabby and Welcome to ATS!
Your long introduction was wonderful..There is so many good threads for you to join into i cant wait to see some of your posts and threads

reply to post by gabby2011


Hello, gabby! Welcome!

I'm talkative.

Just not very typative.

I can relate to many things you mentioned.

Kyred

welcome

Welcome Gabby. It seems we may have a few things in common. I have a daughter named Gabrielle but she also goes by Gabby. Enjoy your stay.

Welcome to ATS Gabby, hope you enjoy your stay with us!
2nd line

Hello gabby2011 and welcome to ATS!

I find myself relating to some of things you said which makes me look forward to your future posts!
Thank you for sharing!

Peace : )

Hi Gabby,
Welcome to ATS I went through pretty much exactly the same process that you describe in your OP, but my experience happened several years ago.

The emotions you experience after being "awakened" are similar to the 5 stages of grief:

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals .

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth.

Pay close attention to the last sentence in the 5th stage, use your new found knowledge for personal growth. It does get easier to cope and live a normal life as time goes on.

Just remember that there is good out there

reply to post by gabby2011


Hi Gabby ...

Excellent .. Good on ya for joining, and searching for your truth ...

Please don't think the evil or corruption that happens on earth is a representation of God ..
Just as i dislike ignorance in my neighbours ... and would be further dismayed if someone judged me by my neighbours actions ... I suspect God also doesn't condone evil or corruption down here and likely doesn't share those traits ...

Even although he doesn't appear to wave his hand and make all evil disappear, as i think having only good down here, and no concept of evil, hurt, loss, etc, would probably defeat the purpose of us being here ... to learn .. grow .. be tested ... grow some more .. i believe part of life is to be surrounded at least by ungodly temptations

Like yourself, it saddens me, when i see others indulging in these temptations, to the point where their greed outweighs the well being of others ... or when i see some people, who do evil acts, with absolutely nothing to gain, other than, they thrive on seeing the evil suffering they unleash on other people who are vulnerable to their attack .. usually more satisfying when unleashed on a non evil, good doing person ...

When stripped of our 'universal knowledge' .. all we have to guide us of right and wrong, is our basic instict (which should be sufficient), and what we learn while we are here ...

I think, if we can get through all this stuff that you mention in your OP, and whatever else life has to throw at us, with God and love still in our hearts (ie, dont succumb to the darkness all around us), then that is our true test, which we will hopefully have passed with flyin colours ...

If the tables were turned .. and you were God .. and you see, as much as you want all your children to come to you ... by stripping them of their knowledge, and sending them to earth .. leaving them only what they have in their hearts to see which way they go .. ie, with the illusion of no consequences beyond this life, do we hurt others in our race for survival .. or do we consider, that i dislike hurt, and therefor, would not wish it on others ..

Do we give into the evil around us, and also learn to show negative values ... we may think we hate evil, but by letting it affect us to the point where we have hatred of the people doing the evil, where it makes us angry, violent, or the likes ... but in reacting like this, evil is infecting our minds also .. we just may not realise its happening to us, initially ...

From your perspective (God) .. as much as you love your children .. any one of them can say they love you, and even believe it them selves .. but the only way to really test that love, is to strip them of all that they know, and just leave what is pure .. in their heart (soul) .. send them here .. and see if they come back to you ... or give in to the temptations, or evils of this world which are plentiful, always (both godly love, and evil come in many forms .. some not so obvious as others) ...

If you were God .. You would be joyed at the ones who through all this darkness, stay strong and loyal to you .. and spend their lives trying to find you and know you, to ultimately be with you ..
You would likely also be very disappointed, at the ones who so easily get lost in it all .. and put their own selfish desires before the well being of others ... or worse ...

Apparently life can be a huge spiritual learning curve too .. but i suspect there can be much else to gain from life .. other than being tested, and spiritual growth ... i read much that suggests we should also use it as a school playground between classes ....

I had a giggle when you mention your long intro .... i have a problem, in that i start writing a 2 sentence post .. and it turns into s small novel .. i can't help myself ...

Good Luck

Originally posted by gabby2011
Just wanted to introduce myself. My son tuned me into conspiracy theories, though I had heard of 911 being a conspiracy long before. But it was through him that I began searching and reading about 911, then the NWO.

Hi Gabby2011, and may I extend to you the warmest welcome I can e-muster!

I'm so glad to see new members joining, it tells me that our efforts to uncover conspiracy theories are turning out to be fruitful!

I must assert though that I'm not a "conspiracy theorist." I'm an "independent researcher" hoping to uncover every conspiracy out there that I am able to.

reply to post by WhatAreSpinkters


wow..I so needed to read all that and truly absorb it...you have no idea how much that post helped.
I am tired of being angry at God. Having faith in a higher power, that you believe to be truly good and divine ,is something my heart was missing desperately.

Thankyou as well to all of you who have posted a welcome,as well as kind words of understanding.

discl0sur3 , your post on the stages of grieving was also very helpful .

reply to post by gabby2011




Its inspiring for me to know, that there are many people in the world, like yourself, who care so much, and have so much good in their hearts, that they get saddened, or even depressed, by the darkness they see around them ...

It's okay to be saddened by this ... but each person who stays strong, and positive, is another shining beacon from within the darkness ... the more the merrier .. cos each shining beacon can help more people around them who need help keeping their light shining

I see plenty of beauty in the world also ... more so than evil .. although evil is plenty .. It's important we focus most of our thoughts on the happier aspects of life, than dwell on the darkness ... science is only starting to appreciate how powerful the mind and thoughts truly are, at interacting with our reality .. and what we spread to others around us, etc ... but needless to say .. not allowing dark thoughts to consume our mind for too long, but focusing on happy thoughts .. or activities we enjoy ... is far more beneficial .. to ourselves, and the people in our lives (ripple effect) ...

When i get down about the evils in this world ... its genuine people like yourself, that care, and are the opposite, that lift my heart again .. and make the world not so bad .... so dont let the darkness extinguish your light .. cos others need you

And please excuse my cheesy analogies.

Hi Gabby,

Im a new member too and I admire you for such an open and honest introduction.

I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your threads

Welcome to ATS! Don't worry about the world, it's broken but it's beautiful!

hello, there, welcome aboard!