Feelings of Hopelessness and Powerlessness, ..... Am I alone?

I sit here at home, watching my children watch Dora The Explorer and play Nintendo thinking to myself; what will their future be like?

It’s my day off from the hospital where I work as a nurse. I'm tired and burned out. I think about my future; will I have a retirement? Will society survive long enough for me to make it that far? Will I be able to hold it together any longer before I just crack up?

I went to Facebook a few years ago to play games, meet other people and develop a sense of community online that my personal life lacks, due to parenting, work and local demographics. What I found was that I became depressed. I wanted so much to share with people and family what is happening in the world. I wanted to get the word out about such topics that mainstream media refuses to cover. With nearly 1000 “friends” my responses were way less than 1%. Nobody cared, so it seemed. I have since quit Facebook, except to directly contact some family members.

So looking online I found ATS! WOW! All the topics I love! So much information! I have spent 4 months reading everything I can, making connections in my mind about how everything relates or connects to each other…..etc…etc..

So now, I sit back and wonder if having too much knowledge about some things healthy? They say knowledge is power, and yes it is if you have the means to act on that knowledge to change or sway an outcome.

I feel as though I have done the best I can to prepare my family for some unprecedented catastrophic event. I sometimes feel as though I have taken on too much and the responsibility can be heavy. I work full time x3 days a week helping people every day without any gratitude. I home school my children, I grow my own gardens and livestock. Our family practices Isshinryu Karate and our home is well equipped for self defense. We are well prepared “on the books”. BUT BUT BUT……………..

I continue to have strange dreams every night, and have a record of precognitive dreams starting since I was 12 years old after a near death drowning incident. I am an earth based type of person, and find coincidence and synchronicity in life more than meaningful. I am also a skeptic and a believer and find that I sit on the fence so often because I can always see all sides……

It makes life hard because what is happening in the world has become soooo depressing. Everything I read about is just too much! The world is so F&*$%# UP! The powers that be and that are in control don’t care about anything but themselves (whoever and whatever they are). There is nothing I can do about any of it. I have no time or energy, I have no $$$. I feel like I am a peasant………yeah I have more than most people in the world just because I live in a country where consuming is the thing to do, but it does not feed the soul……America is starting to feel soulless to me……its like the gwen towers are telling people to go to sleep....(my attempt at humor)

On top of all that, my father is very sick, going home on hospice and lives on the west coast and I on the east. So I am about to get on an airplane and not happy about that. I’m about to go see him for the first time in 3 years, and am not ready. It’s one thing to be a nurse for strangers but another to actually look at your parent and know that when you leave to go back home, that will be the last time you see him……All of this leaves me just wanting a stiff drink, a Xanax and if I smoked, a nice reefer…….because everything right now just seems hopeless…….

reply to post by Starwise


yeah hopeness...but i have to pass my exams lol

reply to post by Starwise


Hard times we are facing indeed. The future is not set in stone but with future efforts then just maybe we can get out of this slum that we are currently in. It all depends if people are willing to listen and learn from their mistakes from the past and apply them to the present. You are not alone and i'm sure some people have it worse then you but remember that once we have nothing to lose then its time to take it all back, by force if necessary.

Yes a little light~ The future is not set in stone...thank you for your reply

reply to post by Starwise


I'm really sorry about you father. My dad is sick as well so I know about the stress and fear that causes. I agree that most of america doesn't care about what is going on unless it is right in front of thier faces.

You may be feeling hopeless right now because of what is going on in your life, but I feel that hope never truly dies. It may feel like it sometimes but it always comes back.

Hang in there and stay strong for the sake of your children and your own peace of mind. Being aware of what is going on in the world does not mean you have to endlessly dwell on the negative. Always try to find the positive also or you might drive yourself crazy!

I hope you are my nurse if I ever get hospitalized. We need more people like you out there, you are not alone, and we have to help each other find the inner strength to keep going. Truth is on own side, and truth is the strongest ally. Good luck, and may the Force be with you.

I'd suggest trying to cut yourself off completely from all news sources (mainstream AND alternative) for a month. Longer if you can or like the change that will occur in you. I say 'try' because I know it's next to impossible not to hear the latest gossip or see a news broadcast in passing or what have you, but limit it to the best of your ability and then, after the month go back to your usual routine of things.

You may notice that nothing at all has changed in the world, nothing has gotten worse or better, only the stories and outward forms have changed a bit. It's easy to get caught up in the muck and mire that surrounds us all daily...but it's not US. The hopelessness and depression is the result of a disconnect between us and the REAL WORLD that is in our immediate presence. Imagine 100 years ago, we would, most of us, have no idea that an earthquake happened in Japan. I hate to say "ignorance is bliss" because ignorance has such negative connotations, so...let's call it "focus on our immediate surroundings is bliss"...

and...I'm starting to ramble, I'll stop. Don't worry, be happy.

reply to post by ucantcme


Yes I need to focus more on the positive right now! Thank you! I am sorry about your father too.....Its hard when someone you love is dying or sick.

reply to post by JibbyJedi


Thank you for the compliment. I need the force with me right now!

reply to post by kalunom


Thank you for the suggestion, I actually have done that before and you are right. It was helpful, but after a few weeks of ignoring the news, the Japanese earthquake struck and there went that......lol

I feel the same way. I started preparing for some scenarios but not all. You just have to go with the flow and watch the weather and news. If # breaks out get your family and go into deep wilderness. I don't know how you feel about guns but, I would start stocking up.

reply to post by Starwise


Rather than worry about "what might happen", and be depressed about it, why not focus on the moment, and the present life with your kids, etc.?

Take them to a theme park, or even the park or the beach. Dwell more on the good times, and the now. All that other stuff is meaningless.

Ask yourself this...why do you go to work everyday? Sure, the necessities of life, but isn't it also so you can afford to have some leisure time to enjoy life?

Don't just survive...LIVE!

That's really the best thing you can do for yourself, and your children. If they see you happy, they will be happy, and wouldn't you prefer for them to be happy?

reply to post by Starwise


Sound like just a simple form of depression, everyone gets it and it passes over time. Get too much of that and you will get broken.

Couple that with a sense of fear, and you will fall into the line of those who want just a place to live and will do anything for it.

Sure everything might be hopeless, however, those who say that everything is hopeless are the ones who say that I have lost.

I'm here to say YOU HAVE WON! Your alive, and you can keep on winning. No cheats are required, and you don't need a walk-through. You have the plan, the choice is your if you want to act.

Please be assured that you are not alone in these feelings. We live in a very ignorant world, and it is very sad and frustrating when your open mind views are not aknowledged.

Try and stay strong and positive, even 1% hearing you is better than none!

Loving Thoughts

Thank you all for your posts. Yeah I must be feeling depressed. It is not a usual thing for me. I think more than anything its the fact that I must now face my fathers mortality and am not ready for him to pass. I hate the thoughts of him suffering and me being so powerless. It also makes me confront my issue with the afterlife. IS it real or not. Do we go on or not. I don't think I believe that my individual self will survive, but that there is a collective whole where all borrowed energy returns.....Its probably time for me to practice what I preach to my patient families...ahhh so much easier said then done huh....

When I'm feeling down about things in life I listen to this song and it always helps me look on the bright side of things!

reply to post by Starwise


I feel exactly the same way sister. I feel like as if i woke up from a deep sleep and opened up my eyes to see the reality of this cruel world. For the past few months i have been going through a big conscience awakening and ive realized many things that has helped me put many of the pieces together. This led me to be a strong believer in the theory of an upcoming Ascension which will lead to a shift in overall global consciousness and the possibility of moving to a higher dimension. Now ever since this belief has grown in me ive been looking at everything from a new and different point of view where everything revolves around positive thoughts and pure unconditional love. Love that is universal and yet we destroy it at a global level with fear, hatred, and other factors that are imposed by the government, religion and society. The feeling of not belonging here and wanting to go home has been triggered by this shift in consciousness that ive experienced i feel like everything we do involving modern society has NO beneficial outcome for us as "INDIVIDUAL" and "INDEPENDENT" human beings. But i think thats the issue here. The fact that we are no longer independent, the modern human being in society as we know it depends on a system that that can easily collapse. JUST think about it for a second, think about the daily needs in life and how they can significantly be at a scarce level if the economy collapses and if the dollar looses its value (as its happening in this current period of time). NOW how would you obtain water?? or whos gonna work in order for food to be available or what if its no longer available?? what about gas and transportation, medicines and medical care? Money that people might of saved in banks in quantities of thousands or even millions would be worthless and even protection could be at risk as anarchy could break loose if government looses its power over people. Now we have to ask our selves.. what happened to the individual human that could survive in the mountains,deserts,woods or any sort of biome? what happened to farming our own food so that we are not dependent upon others for food supply? what happened to the ancient knowledge and wisdom that we ONCE possesed and vanished after the first school systems appeared?? it just seems to me that we put our selves in a position were we are downgrading rather than upgrading as intelligent species. Now i know these personal opinions bring a tone of negativity and fear which indeed contradicts my belief where everything revolves around POSITIVE thoughts and unconditional LOVE, but remember brothers and sisters there IS a difference between being in fear and being AWARE.