What's the funniest thing your kids have ever said to you?

post inspired by my lovely daughter,

This morning I noticed a tick on one of my cats, while I asked my daughter to hold her down for me while I removed it, she said in the most serious tone:
"you can get "limewire" disease from ticks!". I tried not to laugh and embarras her for the silly remark.
"cool " I said "then we can download music directly into our head".... she didn't get it... poor thing

(for those who didn't know: LimeWire was a free peer-to-peer file sharing client program, but taken offline nov. last year.)

What has your kid ever said to you that made you go "lol, rofl or lmao"?

roflcopter lol lmao steamloller!!!!!!

I dont have kids but this is what me ol' ma said I said once...

Me uncle saw I was sitting in the kitchen, with the sun shining through a window onto me.

"Hey lad, you sitting in the sun?"

"No.... I am sitting in a chair."

I said..

And from that point I only gotworse... Oo

My nephew said once,
"Uncle Neil today at school we learned about McDonald's chicken nuggets"
I replied with
"Oh really and what did you learn?"
He turns with a cheeky grin and states proudly
"There made with FISH!"

CLASSIC

reply to post by GypsK


Good stuff!
My oldest boy and I were watching Lion King for the umpteenth time as it was his favorite movie.
So out of the blue he says to me, "Know what Dad, your'e the top of the food chain huh?
He was about 18 months at that point.
I guess disney is good for something.

FUNNY...

When my son was about 3 or 4 he asked my aunt how old she was. She replied with "How old do you think I am"
he said... Ummm 19
She says, "Nope, I'M 50!"

He stood there for a second quietly looking at her, then, as he turned to walk away he muttered, "pfft...that ain't even a number"

reply to post by GypsK


My sister and i were chatting and my nephew was watching tv, we didn't even know he was listening.

Sis: He looks a lot like you
Nephew : NO I DON'T I'M NOT A GIRL!

"Daddy, why is Bobby not breathing?"

"I killed your little brother, sweetheart."

Years ago probably about 25! my daughters aged about 5ish and I were watching Neighbours on TV (the Australian serial) and the grandmother had just found out her marriage licence wasn't legal and axclaimed " We have been living in Sin all these Years"
My daughter just turned to me and very proudly said " Mum I know where Sin is" do you I replied where is it then,
"Yes Mum it's in the middle of Australia"

omg love them all! Wish I could give two stars to some.

"pfft...that ain't even a number" got me to spill my coffee while laughing!

keep em coming!

(except for "I killed your little brother" that's just sick )

My daughter has learned to use a computer from very early age, mostly playing educational games. At first we did everything for her, later we let her figure things out for herself.
I remember one day I was making dinner in the kitchen while she was sitting at the computer messing around with it, she was trying start her game by herself and I had just explained that she had to click the desktop icon with the penguin on, which was located at the top of the screen.
At one point she yells at me that she couldn't get the 'arrow thingy' to the penguin and I yelled back from the kitchen that she had to move the mouse 'up'.
After a few moments again she yells that it wasn't working, when I went to see what she was doing...

she was sitting there with her hand in the air clicking the mousebuttons.

ironically, a few years later my kid was trying to teach grandma how to use a computer and grandma did the exact same thing

I have another, but it was not so much funny as Gobsmacking!! but have to put it here.

My daughter was in the garden with my 2 1/2 yr old grandson, she was telling him to look up at the sky and clouds.. he just came out with I was up there before? were you she said, yes before they gave me eyes & arms & legs!!!

reply to post by nanny


WOW, that's something to think about....
My nephew used to say things like that all the time, untill the point he said he had an invisible friend that wanted him to do bad things and break his toys.... nog quit so funny

We once couldn't find my little sister who was 3 at the time...my mother started panicking after 5 minutes of calling her name and running through the house...I thought I'd look behind the sofa in the living room and there she was innocently and casually looking up at me with hands covered in brown stuff and her diaper laying infront of her.
I immediately had to laugh and told her nooo sara, baaaad...doo doo not good!...upon which she just looked at me puzzled and confused. like...what's this guy's problem?

reply to post by dude69


Oh gosh....wow.... that's yeah...''kids do the darnest things!''

reply to post by Mentalistbee


yeah ^^...her puzzled look was the best. She genuinely couldnt grasp me and my mother's reaction as we were laughing and scolding her at the same time, but never did it again after this little incident. I think in her mind she was just investigating what that fluffy white thing that grown ups put on her were for or something.
Yep, yep...that's my funny story...

That reminds me...

About a week after Easter, my son was about 3, and i couldn't find him. I'm looking, and calling his name, starting to panic. I go to the front door. When it's all the way open it hits the wall and creates an nice little hiding spot. So I close the door and there is my son, face..COVERED in chocolate..Easter basket spilled over the floor behind him. He says, as he's walken out of there like it's nothing...

"I wasn't eaten any candy in there"

When my son was much younger, his favorite movie was Back to the Future and as kids do, he watched it over, and over and over. One day we were running errands and while sitting at a stop sign, a VW bus is headed our way. My son in all seriousness said, "look mom, Libyans."

reply to post by Scalded Frog


AAAAAAHAHAHAHHA That movie is the best. FUNNY post star star star

'Hey mum, have you tried the new maxibon ice-cream sandwich yet?'

'No baby, I'm on a diet so I don't think it's a good idea that I do.'

'It's good for you, you know?'

'Is it really?'

'Yeah it is! It has the goodness of ice-cream and sandwich!'