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What is an appropriate age range for dating? ATS help me out here

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posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:24 PM
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I am in a strange dilemma here and just curious what opinions other people may hold on this subject.

There is a girl who I have known for a short while, we met throuigh a good friend of mine that I know from our local music scene.

We always talk whenever we see each other and we always joke and laugh and have the best conversations. This girl is attractive physically, but mentally we just seem to click very well. Every time we are around each other there is a very strong chemistry, like we have known each other for ages.

I hadn't really considered this girl as even an option for any romantic interest, mainly because of our age difference. Im 34 years old (a young 34 of course
).....and she happens to be 20.

The thing is I have not been the one to initiate things, but in all honesty she flirts with me and lays it on pretty thick every time we chat. And now she is starting to prod and ask questions to see if I am willing to take that next step forward.

So my question.....What is an appropriate age difference these days? What is considered socially acceptible by todays standards? I know people who have 10, 15 even 20 year differences in age but have been together for years, happily and successfully.

I also know that every time I hear of a 25 year old dating a 40 year old I sort of cringe and think "dirty old bugger"...and thats not what I want to be known as.

So legally speaking I know 20 is an adult, and the age difference isnt an issue legally. But I ask ATS.....is it wrong to date someone 14 years younger...or older?

what say you?




posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:28 PM
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Honestly It shouldn't Have to come to an age when you are both adults.

In my opinion It's Perfectly fine.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:29 PM
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IMO there isn't once the age of 18 is reached it's open. A lot of women actually prefer older men because it takes us so long to mature. I say go for it Never turn down the opportunity of love. As long as they are of age which at 20 she is.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:29 PM
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It depends on where each of you are in your "life experience" My Dad and his wife are 16 years apart and have been married for almost 11 years now. But I've always found, personally, I don't have much in common with girls much more than about 5 years younger than me. I'm 31, btw, and my wife is 28.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:29 PM
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Originally posted by YoungMind92
Honestly It shouldn't Have to come to an age when you are both adults.

In my opinion It's Perfectly fine.




Dude....no offense...but coming from a guy with a Glenn Quagmire avatar...I dont know if that is sound advice or not


Giggity......



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:29 PM
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reply to post by BlackOps719
 


Age is only a number my friend, if shes ok with it...why wouldn't you be?




posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:31 PM
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reply to post by Akragon
 



Well....it just makes me nervous.

I know if I had a 20 year old daughter, I wouldnt want her dating some 34 year old guy.

Just seems like it would be wrong, like I would be a dirty old man or something...hehehe. I dunno.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:31 PM
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reply to post by BlackOps719
 


He's my Avatar because he is hilarious.

I'm a lover not a fighter.

edit on 3/4/2011 by YoungMind92 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:32 PM
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reply to post by BlackOps719
 


It's all about what you are comfortable with.
Most women are pretty much way ahead of the curve when it comes to maturity in relationships anyways.
So I'd say if she wants you then go for it.
Alot of women dig older guys.

btw. i'm 38 my wife is 26



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:32 PM
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I dont think age should matter. If she is interested and you are as well and you have commonalities and get along already why not go for it.




posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:33 PM
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reply to post by BlackOps719
 


Who cares what society thinks. If you think this will work, then go for it.

You're both adults, so it should be up to you



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:34 PM
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reply to post by YoungMind92
 


Says the man with Quagmire as an Avatar!!!

In all seriousness though, you should know if it feels right, then go for it. As the man said, you are both adults, albeit one of you only just.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:39 PM
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The real difference is in maturity and goals. Just be sure you're both on par with what you want out of life... there's an age gap between my girlfriend and I but we meet up right in the middle so it works out great.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:44 PM
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Originally posted by BlackOps719
reply to post by Akragon
 



Well....it just makes me nervous.

I know if I had a 20 year old daughter, I wouldnt want her dating some 34 year old guy.

Just seems like it would be wrong, like I would be a dirty old man or something...hehehe. I dunno.


So you fear the condemnation of others...

I understand what you're saying, if i had a daughter i wouldn't want her dating til shes 35...but that won't happen obviously. If you feel guilty about it perhaps you should stay away... I've always found that dating women that are far younger then me will never last... i mean they're fun to play with but theres just too much difference in what you've experienced in life. Maturity differences i guess...

But again, age is only a number... If you care for this person why would you let others opinions of the situation come between you?

Why do you care what others think?




posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:46 PM
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It doesn't matter what's "socially acceptable". When it comes to love, age is only a number (speaking as both being adults, of course). My great-grandparents were eleven years apart in age and they were married 60 years before they passed. It's all about love, my friend.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:48 PM
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Try her mum if it makes you feel uneasy.

Or be prepared to fight for her affections and deal with insecurities about the age difference if things get more personal.

Good luck but I hope you don't need it.



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:52 PM
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I'm not gonna lie. It's weird because she is still virtually a teenager. Let's be straight. You can't call a 20 year old an adult. I'm 20 years old myself and so I speak for everyone when I say that this age doesn't feel like an adult no matter how psychologically mature you are. With my age you are just beginning to experience life. With 20 years you have your mates, girls and so many things that can distract you. This age is unreliable.

But its your call.
edit on 3-4-2011 by Jepic because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:53 PM
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look at HEFF for an example...its perfectly fine in todays society...go for it bud...i have only ever been with girls in that age range and i consider it the best age for having fun but not a serios relationship unless you can find one with a little more maturity....i hope that either my girlfriend i have now will still be with me and continue to be the fun,do anything girl when we get to your age...so if i was u go for it cuz i know i would



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:53 PM
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reply to post by Jepic
 


Maybe not a male 20 yo but women mature faster so a 20yo female may be like a 28-30 yo male



posted on Apr, 3 2011 @ 05:55 PM
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reply to post by BlackOps719
 


I dont think theres anything wrong with an age gap except when the oldest person has a child that is the same age or more than the date in question.

Why, you might ask?

It just seems to fit well morally.

I think you should go for it, you only live once and if it kills you then you only die once


Just my opinion (with a little humor) as you asked.

edit on 3-4-2011 by XXXN3O because: (no reason given)





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