I am a Chicano male, just turned 41, and here's my two cents:
I've always been well mannered and attentive towards people's needs, be they male or female, and I seem to attract some desirable, and sometimes
undesirable, people who warm up to me very soon after I first meet them. By undesirable I mean married woman, older women, younger women, you name it,
and homosexuals. The homosexuals present the most difficulties, as I have encountered at least one at every job I've held where numerous people are
working close together, and once I discreetly inform them that I am 100% straight, they end up acting like spurned lovers and make as much trouble as
they can to disrupt my social life. (Now, I must state that I am not that good looking, and have always been chubby, and I'm guessing it must be my
humor, personality or vibe that causes this attraction.) As I was raised with good Christian values, but am not a devout Christian by any means, I
have a big problem with married women or women over/under 10 years in age variance. I do try to avoid the situation, but I have succumbed a few times
after persistent wooing on the female's part.
When I was 19, I attracted the attention of a single 45 year old Japanese hair salon owner. She owned 7 salons in various cities, had a ton of money
(one serious bank account for each salon, which she showed statements for, wow), and she wasn't bad looking. I was a valet, and I'd heard of other
valets being adopted by sugar mommas, and I thought, why not? This woman took me out to places I couldn't afford to go to, and gave me free haircuts
and hair styling, and even massages by having her newest employees practice on me. And she didn't ask for much in return save for giving her some
personal attention. Also, she knew people would think bad of her for hanging out with me, and she actually encouraged me to flirt with her
hairstylists so people would not suspect we were messing around (I flirted with her female employees, yes, but did not 'cheat' on her). Also, other
mature women noticed our relationship, and actually started asking me out as well. I was able to ignore most of these, except for one cute English
woman with sassy blond hair, a beautiful Cockney accent, and D size breasts. She was a lonely 'trophy' wife in her thirties, and her husband was a
Japanese businessman who frequently took long trips abroad.
I was in my early twenties, still working as a valet, and ended up in a small business building where one big boned, cute and redheaded secretary
flirted with every single male she came in contact with. She was in her mid-thirties, married with two kids, and she flirted with the UPS guy, with
the plumber, with people who came in for services, all men with a pulse, and all of these men flirted back. When she approached me, I basically told
her I wasn't interested. I guess she thought I was playing hard to get, because she kept coming back with more brazen comments and actions, and I
kept turning her down. This made her even determined, and one evening where I'd had a big fight with my girlfriend, this redhead showed me her
breasts one too many times, and I took her up on her offer. Only later did she reveal that she never slept with any of the guys she flirted with,
allegedly, and that my stubborn refusal, and my 'look' had caused her to fall in love with me.
This next one will probably draw out some criticism. I was 25, living in a bachelor pad that my buddies would hang out in, and sometimes they'd bring
over women. One of my friends was 20, and he picked up two girls who said they were seniors that were walking home from high school. He had his date
set, but the second guy never showed, and I ended up going out with the second girl. The girl looked like and dressed like Paula Abdul (when she was
hot), and we got along well enough that we ended up messing around that same night. We started going out regularly. One evening she was digging around
in her purse, and she dropped it and a bunch of stuff fell out. I happened to pick up her school ID, and was shocked that it was from a junior high,
and worse, that the girl was only 14. I felt like turning myself in! Incredibly, she said her last boyfriend had been in his thirties! I did not break
off the relationship right away, as she seemed to need a lot of emotional support, but I did keep my clothes on after that. We 'broke up' two weeks
later, when she finally realized I was no longer going to sleep with her.
Last story. I was 32, and moved from San Diego to a very small town, where everybody knew each other. I kept to myself at first, but since I didn't
know the area well and I worked the evening shift, I asked some of my co-workers to show me around town after work. The first two girls that took me
out were very popular, and even though they were truly only showing me around, all of the other girls at the job (a big name casino) thought I was
messing around with them, and suddenly I was the 'new flavor' of the month. By all of the girls, I mean damn near 75% of them! Talk about a small
town where nothing happens! Married chicks from their late thirties to their mid-twenties, girls in college with or without boyfriends, girls that
were 18 or 19, Asian, black, Hispanic and white! I told two 18 year olds that I was 32, and no way I was going to their apartment that night, and they
countered that when they added their ages together, they had a total of 36 years, or 4 more than me! I mean, unbelievable! It was like a race to find
out who could get me in the sack next! I mean, I felt like a rock star might after a big concert! And they all knew that I was married at the time,
and were still pressing their breasts on my arms or their butts on hips! I succumbed a few times, most notably a 7 month affair with a supervisor who
was 9 years my junior. I was making up acronyms just so I could keep all the names straight! One was B.L.A.C.K., where each letter represents the
first letter of a woman's name from my closest circle, and even then I was trying to figure out how to add a U and a Y! Why couldn't I have such a
problem when I wasn't married?
Casinos are notorious for promiscuity, and I won't bore you with another long story, but know that I worked at a second casino in the same general
area, and this was actually even more blatant than the first one. Married managers in their early forties would call me into their offices so they
could show me what color their bras and panties were, an insistent 19 year old dared me to touch her, or she'd tell everyone I was gay, while we were
sitting in a crowded employee break room (a lot of these workers left embarrassed when she started moaning).
Okay, enough already. I am a Gemini, and although I feel an enormous amount of guilt for the age variances, and/or my/their marital status, there is
another part of me that is saying, hey, life is an experience, and only my involvement with the 14 year old can be considered against the law. My
conclusion to the OP is that everybody has to make their own decision, relevant to who they are and how they see themselves at that moment. I could
say I don't condone more than 10 years difference, because I truly don't, but I've broken my own rule too many times to judge others. I have
daughters aged 21 and 18, and I really don't know how I'd react if I found out some guy in his later thirties or above was pursuing them.
The best thing I can say in my defense is that in ALL of the instances above where I actually crossed that line, I did so out of an emotional need
initially (I cared for them), and not out of a physical lust. Some see a distinction here, while others do not.
P.S. I've been single for the last 7 months, not due to adultery, but to a growing apart with my spouse. I placed a personal ad on Craigslist a few
days ago, and I tried to make mine different than other ads, by being honest and witty. Can you guess the ages of the women that replied, even though
I clearly stated that I was 41, overweight by 60 pounds, nearly broke, and was looking for someone around my age bracket? 18, 23, 25, 26. Really? I
guess I should be happy that no gay men replied, but I don't know if I want to answer any of these!