I have been the victim of re-programming.

I think the media is trying to sell cosmetics, clothing, an image and get more viewers.

If you can't get what the TV tells you you should want you will have to watch TV to get it thus securing their business model.

If you've been duped its time to deprogram yourself if you want to. Start hanging out at bars instead of watching TV. Go do something you enjoy. Unless its going to the game shop to play D&D. All the girls there are taken or way more insane than the hottie that messed you over...

Or start watching adult entertainment featuring the kinds of girls you would like to be turned on by. Eventually it will stick and every variety is available.

reply to post by Chakotay


HeHe Chakotay. #1 of the voyager.

Very nice debunking piece, thank you for contributing.

reply to post by Jinglelord


Thank you this is good advice. I just end up still hitting on shallows, or they find me and I stare straight at their *assets* I don't see meaningful on thier faces.

Still I'm appalled at my success rate. Sex and the city is your enemy folks, just like the seinfeld episode about man-hands.

-Matt

Let me :give some quotes "apple bottom jeans boots with the fur"

or

"my chic bad bad, my chic good, my chic do things you wish yours would"

reply to post by matthewgraybeal

Its really about a part of you mind being overactive, its the pleasure pain part that seems to dominate you. Its really always there for everybody but some have managed to shrink its capacity. If you keep feeding it, it can only grow and if you try and ignore it, it grows as well. Just try and find a more central point of view and work from there, bit by bit what was once considered to be essential becomes unimportant. It really a part of our programming right from the begging, all that is happening now is its a lot easier to hit our button with images.

I'd like to share a chart I stumbled upon just the other day when I was looking for answers for my own relationship.
Love vs. Lust
It helped me see things a bit more clearly for myself. I long for a true, deep meaningful relationship. I feel as if I am an object to my significant other and I'm very tired of it. There's no deep connection, he's fine with it, but I can't handle it anymore. But anyway, that's a whole other story...

You may very well be a victim of the media pumping sex and vanity in your head but don't lose heart because you have the power to change that. Lust is short lived as you know...if you keep seeking it, it will eventually turn on you. It will make you it's slave. You don't want to spend your life being a slave to your base desires. You will be chained and boxed in. You will never experience the deep joy and the full beauty of loving...of giving and receiving. I read somewhere that we have only two choices that really matter in life - choosing to love and choosing to be loved.

You can disconnect yourself now and begin to repair the damage. Get to know yourself again and focus on the true beauty within yourself, others and in nature. Your heart and mind are in a conflict, which is a good thing. If there's a battle going on inside, then your spirit is not at peace, it is telling you something is out of balance and is begging you to do something about it.

There's a great book on spiritual wholeness (non-religious but spiritual) that might help you. It's called Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. Check it out if you can. The chapter on Choice may be particularly helpful for you. Here's part of the book on Google Books: Seat of the Soul
I hope that in time you will find peace and true love.

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


I think the most important part will be to reprogram yourself with what you want. Don't let them control you!

But then what if what you really want is a deep meaningful relationship with a TV hottie? What if it isn't mind control and that is what you're genuinely attracted to? Oh man then you're in trouble...

Originally posted by flyingviolet
I'd like to share a chart I stumbled upon just the other day when I was looking for answers for my own relationship.
Love vs. Lust
It helped me see things a bit more clearly for myself. I long for a true, deep meaningful relationship. I feel as if I am an object to my significant other and I'm very tired of it. There's no deep connection, he's fine with it, but I can't handle it anymore. But anyway, that's a whole other story...

You may very well be a victim of the media pumping sex and vanity in your head but don't lose heart because you have the power to change that. Lust is short lived as you know...if you keep seeking it, it will eventually turn on you. It will make you it's slave. You don't want to spend your life being a slave to your base desires. You will be chained and boxed in. You will never experience the deep joy and the full beauty of loving...of giving and receiving. I read somewhere that we have only two choices that really matter in life - choosing to love and choosing to be loved.

You can disconnect yourself now and begin to repair the damage. Get to know yourself again and focus on the true beauty within yourself, others and in nature. Your heart and mind are in a conflict, which is a good thing. If there's a battle going on inside, then your spirit is not at peace, it is telling you something is out of balance and is begging you to do something about it.

There's a great book on spiritual wholeness (non-religious but spiritual) that might help you. It's called Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. Check it out if you can. The chapter on Choice may be particularly helpful for you. Here's part of the book on Google Books: Seat of the Soul
I hope that in time you will find peace and true love.

Thanks flying violet.

Good subject matter. I hope you are able to resolve your relationship complexities as well.

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


i don't have any bad experience but i know that they have thought about frustrated state

and made the very hard and heavy metal music. when you listen to this music you feel

that they understand that they understand you and your state.

metal music is cure for the problem that shouldn't have existed.

they are inventing the new kind of soul's food and cure and they are continuing their job

we should tell them this is not true and we don't want this.

OP, I wish that you could spend 30 minutes in a room with my sister-in-law. It might cure you. She's an absolute hottie -- a real showstopper in figure and face -- but she is so completely ignorant, narcissistic, and rude that her character defaults entirely eclipse her looks. It's impossible to be around her for any length of time without thinking, "God, what a dumb cow!"

Maybe you'll run across someone like that one day and it will resolve your dilemma. 'Kind of like having such a bad tequila hangover that you can no longer stand even the smell of it. Aversion therapy.

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


Are you kidding me? You are blaming the media and your own "pain of life" for your inability to love?

Give me a break.

Turn off the tv and the net. Quit watching porn.

You've turned yourself into a neurotic misfit with no way to cope and/or socialize.

Your whining ability is intact.

It's your fault for buying into the hype.

Don't play the blame game.

If you can't fix yourself, then get mental help to discuss your problems with a professional in the field.

This all starts and ends with you.

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


It's a crying shame, isn't it!!!

Thanks for writing this. Your honesty and blatancy is so appreciated. You are not alone in this....many of my guy friends have discussed this phenomenon with me.

I'm a real girl. And all the real girls want is a guy that doesn't want the TV girls. The real guys seem to want the TV girls. The TV girls don't want anybody, they want things.

I'm a real girl. And all the real girls want is a guy that doesn't want the TV girls. The real guys seem to want the TV girls. The TV girls don't want anybody, they want things.

Excellent points, and the OP would do well to consider them.

Just because you find the hotties attractive, does not mean you NEED a hottie to be happy. Not to mention, that "hottie" quality only lasts so long before becoming tired and desparate.... (i.e. look at the "real housewives" type shows...for a good example of trophy wives gone bad)...

If you aren't great looking or rich, you probably aren't going to land a hottie. It's a simple fact, so no need to keep having that expectation. But, that doesn't mean you can't find happiness with a "normal" gal either. There are WAY more important attributes in a mate than looks, and you may just need a few more years under your belt to realize it (and see what true beauty really is). Eventually you will, and THEN you will find happiness, and the gal will also turn you on. but for her other qualities.

Something to keep in mind: While there are women and men who meet the definitions of what the popular media says is attractive it does not follow that these people are hollow and or vacant caring only for things. I have run across many a "Pretty" person (Male or female) who is humble, down to earth and kind, and I have met many people who are quite far from the media popularized notion of attractive who are materialistic and shallow.

In many regards the highly attractive people (to media standards) have a much harder time of finding someone as they will attract all the hollow vapid people. And that I suppose is the real issue we're getting at her right? It isn't the attractive people who are necessarily lacking it is the people who are attracted to them without first getting to know them and exploring if they are truly compatible.

When you are constantly surrounded by people who want you for your looks with very few actually trying to get to know you I can only assume you would tend to exhibit that hollow behavior as a defense mechanism assuming the world is a broken place and just trying to get by...

reply to post by Jinglelord

I have run across many a "Pretty" person (Male or female) who is humble, down to earth and kind, and I have met many people who are quite far from the media popularized notion of attractive who are materialistic and shallow.

Absolutely, exceptions to every rule. I know a gal who's as pretty as any model in the media, and she's one of the sweetest, kindest people I know. Luckily (for me), I know her well enough now that I think of her more as like a sister, than in "that" way, hehe...so I don't have to worry about my wife hitting me on the head. Still though, it doesn't mean they are shallow if they go with someone who's on their same level physically. (this gal's boyfriend, of course, looks like a male model, but he too is a nice person).