What's the difference between love and a crush ?

You know how they always say that "love is blind"? Well actually it's not. Crushes are blind, when you have a crush on someone all those hormones cloud your brain and you can only see the good parts of that person. Or you project a lot and see what you wanna see, an idealised version of your crush.

Well love on the other hand, when you're in love, you actually know the other person with all their faults, you see those faults, and you accept them.

Love takes a lot of acceptance and respect, while a crush can do without.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


Sometimes, there is no difference...

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/519d7d056c4d.jpg[/atsimg]

reply to post by LiveForever8


Thank you for that "Things You Can't Unsee" moment.... really...thanks.

Originally posted by Sherlock Holmes

I'm interested in your comment where you say that a crush is a ''pre-mature love''.

I guess you're saying that the initial crush is a training ground for feelings, and that a reciprocated love will grow from the initial, basic, romantic feelings.

You said it better then I did.

Yes.

If that is so, then doesn't that still just make love an extension of the original crush ?

If you look at is as a spectrum, I guess. But it would be the first rung listed.

Doesn't that ultimately make ''love'' a lottery where the ''jackpot'' is attempting to find someone who happens to have a reciprocal feeling towards us ?

This is where chemistry plays a part. You are attracted to that person because pheremones match up, they meet your tastes, etc. There is a chance the chemistry meshes on their end as well. The rest is more sketchy due to society factors, such as appearance, tastes, beliefs, and religion for example.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
If you look at is as a spectrum, I guess. But it would be the first rung listed.

At what stage does the step up from the first rung to the second rung become concrete ?

I'm just curious where this actual change actually occurs.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
This is where chemistry plays a part. You are attracted to that person because pheremones match up, they meet your tastes, etc. There is a chance the chemistry meshes on their end as well. The rest is more sketchy due to society factors, such as appearance, tastes, beliefs, and religion for example.

I see that you take the cynical approach.

I'm in agreement with you on that.

It seems to me that ''love'' is as much down to chance events and meetings as it is to any ''deeper'', spiritual meaning.

Not everyone with a CRUSH gets LOVE, but most all who LOVE get CRUSHed.

reply to post by LiveForever8


LOL.

I concur with Gazrok.

Some things just can't be eradicated from the mental image bank.

A crush is the need to procreate and love I will never understand! People get beaten in the name of love, love is beautiful, love is everlasting people compromise their life to find love. To me, if you have to change to find love! it's not love it's a desperate attempt at finding companionship and attributing it to love. Let's remember we are animals and not all animals love.

Peace and compassion

Originally posted by Sherlock Holmes
What's the difference between love and a crush ?

Crushes don't involve VD or alimony.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


Actually on the contrary, I believe the opposite. What I am trying to say is that body chemistry has to match up, or there is no attraction. So it is not as random as one thinks.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
Actually on the contrary, I believe the opposite. What I am trying to say is that body chemistry has to match up, or there is no attraction. So it is not as random as one thinks.

Nah, I have to disagree here.

You can fall for someone, just by seeing a picture of them, thus making a pheromonal connection somewhat unnecessary to this process.

Either, good-looking people with good personalities coincidentally have mutually attractive pheromones, or this is a largely overblown theory that doesn't match up to real-world scenarios.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


Yes you can fall in love with them on site.
But sometimes you go to meet that person, and wa wa waaa. no chemistry. Has nothing to do with attraction. Read up on cyber relationships, and sometimes people end up hanging out for the weekend as friends. Just no chemistry.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Yes, not everybody is going to be compatible, despite how incipiently attractive they may appear to be.

The fact still can't be ignored that people of similar looks/personality tend to form relationships with each other, regardless of the pheromones of potential admirers.


I mean, if I was going out with a woman who I had mutual feelings with, and she said: ''Oh, by the way, I washed the kittens in the dishwasher'', then I don't think pheromones would play a part in me terminating our relationship !

Although that's obviously an extreme example, I use it to highlight the fact that people will usually be mutually attracted to each other on a physical level, and then will become more closely attracted, or unattracted, to each other through personality compatibility/incompatibility, rather than any arbitrary, chemical reason.


In short, I think that feelings of love are based on a lot more than pheromonal connections between two people.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


Oh I agree. I am just saying, in teh beginning there is usually some biological basis, but it is not the entire thing. Like I said before, there are so many variables as to why people match up. I am just saying that it is not 100% random.

Your right in that people select based strictly on looks, initially.

Thanks for the interesting discussion.

Hello.

The main difference between love and a crush is that, I believe love is stronger then other force on earth love will make you do crazy things and when you love someone it is strong that you would die for them, when you have a crush you wouldn't die for them I mean i know i wouldn't .

A crush is something that doesn't last , i believe that your first love is something that you always remember, and yes you will always remember your 1st crush but it doesn't have the same meaning as your 1st love. Love is powerful and it isn't just a feeling it deeper then that .

Here you can express your love with tungsten and titanium rings attached with diamond.

Greetings,
Tom Hanks
RisingTime . Com

Originally posted by Wallachian
You know how they always say that "love is blind"? Well actually it's not. Crushes are blind, when you have a crush on someone all those hormones cloud your brain and you can only see the good parts of that person. Or you project a lot and see what you wanna see, an idealised version of your crush.

Well love on the other hand, when you're in love, you actually know the other person with all their faults, you see those faults, and you accept them.

Love takes a lot of acceptance and respect, while a crush can do without.

That is an excellent description. I've recently been fighting a "married crush" (I'm married and have a crush on another woman). What you say is exactly what happened to me...

With a crush, if you force yourself to see the negatives of them, the crush will fade...

... but with love, even seeing the negatives of that person makes your love stronger.

Ignore Badw0lf and listen to Heff...

Hey, I have a very successful relationship and marriage. Ive been married a long time and think I found the holy grail of relationship advise. Here it is.. BE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS BEST FRIEND AND PUT NO ONE OR NOTHING ELSE ( in this world) BEFORE THEM.

LET ME CLARIFY:

Be yourself and marry/live with someone who is themselves.. and most things really ARE just small things

.Play games.. get heartache.Yes, men play them too. Dont be a sucka.

NEVER be something or someone else for a potential mate/long term booty call.. for short term ones use a fake name and a hotel in another town.

I also dont care what anyone says.. because the naysayers are usually failures in relationships.. sex is a HUGE factor. If you are NOT sexually compatible or your wife is scared of saying hello to your penis.. or husband does the same.. its destined for unhappiness and failure. For gods sake, stop whining about what your spouse isnt giving you that you want.. you knew what you were getting when you married them.. choose someone sexually compatible from the start. Cuts down on headaches and someone taking your stuff.

Dont give so much in the begining of yourself.. be honest, but be cautious. Im not saying hold back and hide things, but why expose your soft underbelly to a complete stranger?

Intimacy is much more than sex.. cause sport sex is great too you know.. intimacy is being in your partners head... and being their right hand man/woman. The spouse should NEVER be the enemy. DONT marry or get involved with enemies.

Be choosy. VERY choosy. I didnt marry until I was older. Id dated and etc.. and always dumped them when I saw what was hidden. I didnt care how much money he had or how good looking. I had a certain idea of what I wanted for the rest of my life.. and would rather have been alone than settle for less. Life is fleeting.. why waste it? DUMP them if they arent what you want.. why do you people settle for so little or delude yourselves into thinking you can change someone into what you want to begin with?

If you date a slob.. they will be a slob when you marry them. If you date an easy ho.. guess what? Same thing. If you date a party girl.. it doesnt change after they get a ring. If you date a psycho.. youre gonna get psycho for the rest of your life. You CAN NOT CHANGE ANYONE. Dont try.. why would you want to anyway.. just look for someone thats already readymade what you want. If you dont knwo what you want.. figure it out or youre most of your own problems.

DOnt have kids immediately. I know, accidents happen.. but choosing not to use protection IS NOT an accident I dont care if she said she was on BC or he said he was sterile. Youre in control of your own body.. so act like it. Dont marry for "accidents" because having a child doesnt make a relationship and many times living in a war zone is worse for a kid than having 2 parents. Thats the absolute truth.Pregnancy is used by women sometimes for control and to rope you in.. you CAN prevent this. If a relationship is troubled.. for Gods sake DONT have kids! They wont fix the marriage.. or relationship. If anything it will complicate it worse and then youre responsible for using a human being liek a tool to fix what YOU want.. how terrible and selfish!

Im dealing with this with a relative right now.. women CAN be abusers and violent. They CAN ruin a man if he dares to protect himself or fight back.. and some psychos will injure themselves and blame it on the man to get control of the situation. Its the way our society is set up and I disagree with it, but I figure if a woman wants to act like a man.. treat her like one. Her vagina doesnt entitle her to be violent and you have to sit back and take it. Unfortunately the law doesnt listen to me. You see this out of a woman.. have her arrested and get away from her IMMEDIATELY. I dont care what your feelings are for her.. they obviously arent reciprocated. You cant win this situation regardless of right and wrong.. trust me. Women dont hide behind petticoats anymore.. they hide behind biased gender-centric laws.
The first indication of her lunacy was that she was a huge attention whore. SHe'd dress sexy as possible and at first he thought it was great.. everyone wanted her and HE got to go home with her. You know the type I mean. It changed.. after several yrs and her getting older.. and not being as in demand as a 20 yr old.... into her demanding attention everywhere and with every situation. WHen she didnt get it.. it was like an addict who didnt get their drug.. she went PSYCHO. Unfortunately my relative was the one who got it taken out on him. Beware of women who are so insecure they have to have attention like this.. who knows what it will become.

Cheating? No second chances IMO. Cheating is so much more than the sex act.. and its an solid indication that the person is not worthy of your friendship. It will never be as you thought it was before. Anyone who purposely causes one of hte partners to be insecure in the solidness of the partnership.. they are no one I would personally trust again. Thats a huge violation.. and I dont think it can ever truly be mended. Maybe on the surface.. but this is something that ends a dynamic and growing thing such as a relationship. Like throwing ground killer in a garden. Somehting might grow.. but it sure as hell isnt what was originally planted.







Love? Hmm its a hard one. I have ideas abotu it.. no one really can say what it is as its so individual. Its not as selfless as some say I dont think. I think I love my husband because of the way he makes me feel around him and there is a trust there that surpasses anything else.. I am cared for above all others, I am considered when decisions are made, I am secure and he will go out of his way to make me secure in our marriage,My quirks arent just indulged.. theyre supported by him, etc etc etc.. and I return it *all* to him. There is a true trust there that occurs nowhere else in life with no one else in life. I think thats love.. not just that feeling when you are with them physically.. but the emotional and mental ties that bind you.. its the true friendship.

There.. wall 0' text.. youre all fixed now. I dont want to be cool cause I have an outstanding relationship.. I truly and honestly want everyone to experience what I am and what he is. Its not hard and really able to be done. We are truly happy and I want everyone to be happy. I want kids to grow up in happy homes with happy parents.. and repeat that cycle. It would make the world and my own experiences with others so much better.

to love means, you will put his/her needs before your own needs and it feels right.
it means, that you are willing to go beyond your own limits for him/her.
It means that appearance and an ocasional bad mood doesn't matter...
it means that you would donate your kidney without thinking twice about it.
it means that you are willing to die if that saves the life of your loved one.
love developes over time, not instantly.

a crush is nothing more then lust.