What do you do when your relationship isn't enough anymore?

You know you love the person, but you're just craving something new. Just wanting something different and new. Bored with the same routine and it's really nagging at you? You don't want to hurt your partner, but you are struggling with this temptation every day... Should you take cold showers? Get some toys? WHAT??? I never had these issues and I don't know where they are coming from, maybe not even me, as I am an empath and may be picking up another's feelings! I feel like I am in heat, it's bonkers. WHAT THE H----?!!!!

reply to post by ldyserenity


You can always try new things. Don't be afraid to try something different with your partner.Sometimes its up to both partners to come up with something interesting to bring back the good times. I wish you luck and have a good time.

reply to post by ldyserenity


You do something new and different, maybe very different from what you've been doing - Go on an adventure, have an adventure at home, whatever you choose, but finding that thrill is as easy (or as hard) as taking a left when you normally take a right - Take a chance at something, anything, and it will spark other ideas, no doubt - The key: share the journey/adventure/new thrill WITH your partner, if you can. If you can't, a rejuvenated YOU can also be a kick-start to a rejuvenated partner...

Best thing is to do what i do, and never have a relationship, or partner, your better off.

Problems solved.

Good replies. It's hard with kids around no freaking privacy... Need vacation without kids!
Well I made suggestions, as well, and always met with "why would you want to do that?" But when he has a suggestion, of course I give it a try, so I feel he doesn't listen to me. I especially like the Above post, don't get into a relationship, haha!!!! Well especially if the other party only wants you to listen to their ideas and don't listen to yours!

reply to post by andy1033


Damn andy. I don't know how old you are, but surely you don't mean it 100% of the time right? Theres always someone for anyone if they are willing to look for him/her.

reply to post by Stop-loss!


I am saying your better off being like me, and alone.

All the fuss.

I agree with Andy.
I find most people are too emotionally crippled to have relationships without being disfunctional or selfish.

OP,if it is all about him then let him know that he might want to reconsider his position.

Originally posted by andy1033
Best thing is to do what i do, and never have a relationship, or partner, your better off.

Problems solved.

Sage advice, Andy

... leave the 'dirty work' to me and my sister Rosy (Palmer).


... better yet, and if your inclined to such, her husband Harry.
:shk:

real party people, they are.

Originally posted by ldyserenity
Well I made suggestions, as well, and always met with "why would you want to do that?" But when he has a suggestion, of course I give it a try, so I feel he doesn't listen to me

Tell him that. I believe that these kinds of problems always have an underlying cause. I would be looking at other facets of the relationship for the issue and then TALK about it.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Tell him that. I believe that these kinds of problems always have an underlying cause. I would be looking at other facets of the relationship for the issue and then TALK about it.

Yep too true

Originally posted by ldyserenity
Good replies. It's hard with kids around no freaking privacy... Need vacation without kids!
Well I made suggestions, as well, and always met with "why would you want to do that?" But when he has a suggestion, of course I give it a try, so I feel he doesn't listen to me. I especially like the Above post, don't get into a relationship, haha!!!! Well especially if the other party only wants you to listen to their ideas and don't listen to yours!

You sound resentful. And you have kids. So the romance is gone and you have these kids underfoot and you're fantasizing about a nice romantic relationship (without kids.) That pretty well covers it, right? It could be like it used to be, only this time with someone else. Maybe you already have someone else in mind. That's the "in heat" part; it's the passion rekindled. He's kind of flirting with you a bit, giving you little pushes to see how much you'll give (this last just a guess on my part.) Or maybe you're just remembering a past relationship that was good up to a point and going over it again, and again.

Here's what someone told me once, at a time that was way too late for me. He said, "Passion is an energy that passes." Of course, when you are in the throes of it, it doesn't seem possible that it would pass, but, I think you are seeing that it does. The fact is, though, that baring something truly catastrophic, you made a commitmnt of 18 or so years to raise your youngest to adulthood--with your partner. That still needs to happen. If it doesn't, lots of people, some of them innocent, are going to get hurt.

Trust me on this. Been there, done that, hurt some people, wish it hadn't happened. Hindsight is always good.

reply to post by ldyserenity


It time to bounce.

You say you are an empath right???

Maybe you are picking up HIS signals and he is the bored one

reply to post by schuyler


No see thats just it, last time I did feel like this come to find out a friend that I hang out with was having a trist. I think that's what's really going on picking up someone else's energy... She is always running around so an empath's nightmare. None of that is me at all. I am pretty sure I am picking up her field of energy again. But it;s terrible...it feels like it's you experiencing it it's crazy. I am happy that's the thing I never Had a problem till I moved here. Or maybe it's just here I don't know.

Originally posted by Yissachar1
You say you are an empath right???

Maybe you are picking up HIS signals and he is the bored one

Well he has cheated, so I already thought about that too.

reply to post by ldyserenity


That's why porn was invented. (whether novels, online vids/pics, magazines, dvds, you name it)...

Just avoid things like online chat or vid conferencing, etc. because that actually establishes two-way communication (and is, for most...cheating emotionally at least). (besides being just plain creepy...keep it traditional)

Seriously, gives the mind an outlet for diversity without actually cheating and hurting your partner. I'm not a freak or anything, but there are lots of things I'm sure are never gonna happen with my wife (like being with a bunch of gals at once for example...)

Of course, you can always try different things with your spouse to try and liven things up a bit too...just be aware of each other's boundaries and comfort level.

Originally posted by ldyserenity

Originally posted by Yissachar1
You say you are an empath right???

Maybe you are picking up HIS signals and he is the bored one

Well he has cheated, so I already thought about that too.

It's time to bring in the professionals. Resentments can be death to a relationship.

Even the professionals couldn't save mine. I bear full responsibility.

Good Luck!

reply to post by ldyserenity


That is when you start dating your lovers best friend.

If you do the same thing you always did, you get the same thing you always got.
There is nothing stopping you from getting a new hobby, going to new places, or trying somethign new. Both of you experiencing it for the first tim together.
When my husband and I had to rebuild our marriage, we lived in Arizona. We got a great book of all the off road trails and spent every weekend going to mines, ghosttowns and getting lost in the desert. Those ended up being the best times we ever had.
And creativity in the outside can lead to renewed feelings in the bedroom.

As for the bedroom itself, go spontaneous, go on a golfcourse, a bridge, the backyard. Someplace you

Play hide the raisen I will let you figure that one out. You can't use hands to find it.

Meet in a hotel and pretend to be strangers.

Go out of town, or camping, the change of venue helps.