Are You a Boy or a Girl?

reply to post by Yissachar1



Bloody Ell. Yissachar1 is human after all!!! Wow I actually agree with ya. Perhaps the end of the world is nigh. Anyway well put sir. Well put. Sometimes we all forget the most simplest facts of life.

Starred.

To halfoldman

Even the straight guys can disappoint their parents in other ways...Looking at myself with my own grownup daughters it is like they never grew up. So when my daughter was off teaching in Dubai I kept getting flashbacks of her aged 7 an thinking "What????!!

There is no real reason to worry about this. Just be who you are, and don't put pressure on yourself to conform to what people expect you to be.

If you are feeling any way confused about who you are, or feel you have both female and male traits, then you should look into transgender or gender neautral.
en.wikipedia.org...

Don't be afraid of who you are, and more so, don't let people tell you who you are.

I was born a girl, but was taught to despise everything feminine about myself.
In my early twenties I begged my gynaecologist to help me become a man.

However this darling old doctor realised the answer for me was not a sex change. He told me I had to get to know the body I had before I changed it, and proceeded to give me a course of highly unethical lessons, teaching me the name, function and sensation of a myriad muscles I'm unlikely to ever see. By the time he'd finished I was much happier, and appreciated the body I had.

However I've never been totally female, and don't feel the need to be. To my mind every role we play is just that, role-play, and the real you is something much deeper.
I'm a women when it comes to babies and dressing up, I'm a man when someone needs defending, and I enjoy a good punch-up. Sexually I don't feel straight or gay; sometimes I'm in love with a man, and sometimes I'm in love with a woman. When working I'm neither male nor female, I'm just me.

The Thai monk who ran a Buddhist monastery near Melbourne recognised this, and told the monks they were free to get massage treatments from me, (I'm a Clinical Masseuse,) because I was not a woman, I was a doctor.

Not so long ago my misogynistic dad, soon to die of Parkinson's, told me I was the only real son he had.
Out of his seven children, I was the only girl.

He'd learnt that I was the only one who could stand up to him, and straight talk him to to his face. And this was despite him having repeatedly knocked me unconscious as a kid when I felt a need to tell him something he didn't want to hear.

All I could do was take his appellation in the spirit in which it was intended.


Halfoldman, you are one of the special people on this forum. Just live your role(s) as best you can. Your life is your story; it's not meant to make sense to the people around you. Remember your father is a victim of his own conditioning, and if you had been born straight you might have missed out on a lot of lessons you've learnt, and ended up like him. Sometimes it's up to the child to teach the parent, and you never know how much he may end up learning from you.

I recently found some quotes from Hollywood Squares online:

Peter Marshall: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Congratulations people! You have just fallen victim to a sympathizing thread. You can now adopt this dis-info individual's point of view that homosexuality is not a biological malfunction, and that it is perfectly normal.

This disgusts me, its a giant fallacy where no true argument is present. You are just going to follow his threads on: "Its not that simple" until he clues you into that he practices homosexuality and eventually you stair-step a giant downward spiral into acknowledging that he is "normal" and should be "whoever he wants to be"

Now I will be called a "bigot" or a "homophone" and the rest will follow a parroting of popular belief.

reply to post by AsimpleAbstraction

I suppose that was inevitable.
Nobody needs to feel any sympathy for me whatsoever.
The thread gave me insight into having patience for the feelings of others, and that it must be very confusing to them too. I don't think they meant to be homophobic.
You can try and spread your disinfo, but I guess you won't be surprised to be quite accurately called a bigot and a homophobe.
The thread is obviously about homosexuality (duh), but rather about gender classifications than practicing sex.
Fortunately in the chit-chat forum we have avoided the lengthy pro/anti-gay arguments.
It was very humorous till now.

I noticed in the thread that what I assume are American men use the terms :"I'm pissed", or "Now I'm pissed".
They seem to indicate that they are angry?
In SA English that means "I'm drunk".
To be truly masculine and angry here one would have to add some Afrikaans: "Now I'm the 'moer in'", or "Now I'm 'bedonnerd'".

I guess I'm still lucky.
Some straight people still go through hell with their aging parents, especially if they don't like the race or class of their offspring's girlfriend/wife.

I can sometimes really believe we are going through a cosmic change.
The fact that we can even discuss issues like that openly probably means a lot.

Ironically things like an earring, long hair, or long nails (to play guitar) confused people further.
By 1994 our town was still so conservative that outsiders joked: "The hippies still wear safari-suits".
I guess that's why people went a bit overboard when they got out of militaristic schools and the army.
Everybody grew a mustache - it was the only hair you could grow as young man.

I used to love this song:


Well, the misuse of the word "pissed" makes me most livid.
We weren't gay, we were just "Mods".

reply to post by halfoldman


In Australia "I'm pissed" mans I'm drunk, and "I'm pissed off" means I'm angry.

reply to post by halfoldman


Your not alone, pal. My Aunt Hettie is always sayin something about me and my best bud, Rod, sharing a trailer and a bed like were boyfriends or something.

She always saying "Ronald, you should be married and living with your wife in that trailer, not some single man" and "If the mayor only knew two men were sharing the same abode what would he think?'

You cant' let what others say who you are-- just look at me.

Ronnie

reply to post by inchworm

Oh thanks for that, brilliant!
"What would the mayor think?"

Talking about mayors, I've just seen episodes of American "Wife Swap".
In one episode they displace a rich white wife with a black wife from the inner-city.
Now at the end both wives decide how the family they were placed with gets to spend the $ from the show.
The black wife divided it up nicely, and spent most on hobbies and lessons for the kid.
The white wife gave most of the money to the mayor.
The black mom was so upset when she found out: "The mayor, why the hell would I be giving money to the mayor?"
It just goes to show how many preconceived ideas are still out there.

I count myself as androgynous, and i am glad. That means neither male or female. I was ridiculed at school for them taking my thoughts and thinking this way. I see now France accepts that they see transsexual as being normal. But i reckon people can be androgynous which means neither just a mixture, and not either.

I think catholic priests and buddhist monks are supposed to be androgynous and thats the idea behind it.

Glad i am the way i am even though i was rubbished alot.

reply to post by andy1033

Sounds harsher than my experience.
I never saw myself that way, but after Friday I've thought back, and I was asked those questions before.
Maybe (I think in hindsight) that's why so many "friends" turned away from me.


I'm really worried about going to the sauna at the local gym, because I fear that as soon as I move my hand everybody will go charging for the door.

It sounds funny, but it really makes one feel overexposed all the time. It's limited my life.
I mean I know I can be camp on purpose, but now it seems I'm being camp even when I try not to be.

Wondering: is there a sex change for when you already are that sex (without any physical lack); kinda like a sex reinforcement operation?
Or should society broaden its understandings of masculinity and femininity?

reply to post by halfoldman


People where taking my thoughts at school, and ridiculing me for this thought process, so evil its beyond words. But thats what the uk gov and police did to me at school, wanting to absolutely destroy my life. They even tried to make me out to be bisexual, lol. I have never considered myself that.

I consider myself neither male or female, and i prefer it that way.

I was left for dead at that time in my life(good on you murderers who wanted me dead at school, and uk gov who did this to me), and i am glad it just reinforced my feelings.

I think one day humans will be androgynous but today its just too early for things like empathy.

reply to post by halfoldman


I keep on saying its like a scale. One side extreme feminine and the other extreme masculine. Everyone is inbetween. Thats what i reckon was me, in that i was too inbetween those ratios to ever decide that i was either gay or straight or bisexual. Of course females can pretend to be straight no matter where they are on the scale, but males have to be interested in something, and i was never interested in anything, and i am glad.

I think this what is happens with priests and buddhist monks, they are just too inbetween these extremes to ever be either gay or straight. This is what i call androgynous, if you get me.

Originally posted by halfoldman
Wondering: is there a sex change for when you already are that sex (without any physical lack); kinda like a sex reinforcement operation?
Or should society broaden its understandings of masculinity and femininity?

It's not you that needs to change.

There are lots of people who, like you, don't fit into the predefined male/female characatures which your sosiety is expecting people to conform to. And you can't change yourself to fit, all you can do is mess yourself up trying.

If society can't accept you as you are, then you need to be extra strong in accepting yourself. If you can feel so comfortable with who you are that you project that feeling of comfortableness, people around will tend to reflect the way you feel and also accept you.

I don't know, all the guys are doing this topless beach thing.
But when I look down on a hairy tummy, and swirly nipples, I'm not so sure anymore.
I mean did my great, great, great, great grandma really have to breed with a Neanderthal?
I am afraid to come out of the locker...