Whats wrong with me!

I am 16 and have never had a girlfriend.
When I am out, a lot of girls look at me in those flirting ways - but I am just not interested in it to be honest, lol.

I am not 'frigid' or whatever the young age seem to call it these days, I just have more important things to worry about in my life at the moment.

I know how you feel for shying away when somebody asks out out... Gaining confidence is a must though, especially when it will effect you in other ways later on in life.

But don't worry too much about not having a boyfriend... You are still young. And besides, like somebody else said - when the right person comes along, they will make you feel at ease around them.

One bit of advice though, if you do want to ask somebody out - do not do it through other people; ask directly. If you do it through other people, the person you want to ask out may think it's just kids joking around. I have seen this happen so many times.

Like somebody above said, Karate (or any other martial art) is a great way to achieve confidence - I suggest everybody tries it at least once in their life.
I have not actually attended a class in martial arts, but I am certainly planning on doing so.

But anyways, above all of that - I wish you all the luck in achieving confidence and getting the perfect guy for yourself

[Edited on 4-7-2004 by MetalHead]

[Edited on 4-7-2004 by MetalHead]

MetalHead,

I was a lot like you. I think me not going out and getting girls had a lot to do with just simply having more important things to concentrate on.

The problem is, there are those of us who simply don't have the confidence. It's rather scary, to know I won't have the confidence for that one thing, yet have confidence for everything else.

I'm 14 too and I've had my share of boyfriends. None serious except for my last one...

I know what works for me when I like someone. Just act how you would around your friends! (Except maybe try fluttering of your eye lashes more... hahaha)
But in all seriousness, if being outgoing around guys you like comes with a bit more difficulty, start small. Make a point to smile at him when he flirts or talks to you. That way you at least make him feel welcome instead of making him think he has no chance with you. It may take just as much courage for him to make a move as it would for you. (remember that!)
If you don't think you are ready to ask him out, try talking to him casually as friends. If you have any mutual friends, try all hanging out together so you can get to know each other in a low-pressure enviroment.

Geez I sound like a CosmoGirl magasine... :bnghd: But I know exactly where you are coming from! Good luck by the way

[Edited on 5-7-2004 by Brittany]

Ok, my brother told me i had to go to the movies with him and his friends, so i did, (bah..i didnt have anything better to do), and the kid i like...lets call him "bob", bobs friend, bill, went too.

And bob found out. And now bob is acting kind of mad at me. And everyday i have to get something off this shelf thats really tall, so bob does it for me. But one day, bob was busy, so bill got it for me. And bill said "do you have to get that off the tall shelf everyday?" and I said, "no, bob usually does it for me." and bob heard and got all huffy and said "You think you just have me wrapped around your finger, dont you??!!" so I think bobs mad at me.

so i tried to invite him to go to the movies with a bunch of people next time, (mean girls) and he said his parents wouldnt let him. he might be lying. Thats like, pg13, isnt it? he might not be, lying, though, because his dad is a pastor. but hes not acting nice anymore, he just says perverted things and like laughs with his friends. he changed. i dont know how to get bob back to normal.

sorry my post is a bit confusing.

Dont worry us guys can be a little confusing, not as confusing as you chicks... just talk to 'bob' and ask him whats the go... tell him you liked him the way he was... he might be putting on a show trying to impress you... he's probably just as worried as you are Ash... his dad is a pastor after all he may not be able to date at all... just talk to him and you'll be fine. At least then you know where you stand

hehehe, the ol' I don't want ya and I don't need ya. He wants to feel HE alone is in charge. Is it working, is it making you desire him more?


/giggles like tiny girl

Originally posted by Lysergic

/giggles like tiny girl

I think Brittany's and Ashlys influence is affecting you a little too much lysergic. You sound like a female around there age... you need a or two

Your right, next time I get the urge I'll just bash my face into the desk.

This thread only goes to prove the benefits of putting out.

Err... wait.

This thread only goes to prove that casual sex is worth more in the long run.

Nope thats not it.

Well the meaning of this thread has lost its meaning on me but I will still throw in my two cents.

Im 16 and I have had my share of girls come and go, and my share of girls that never were. The only time I really ever was bothered by a girl who got away was when it was her fault she got away. The whole wishy washy dont want to date thing never clicked with me.

I dont mean to sound accusatory. I feel that at 15 or 14 you can be that way, but there is a point you have to mature.

What I guess Im getting at is, at some point your going to have to put out.

Woops.

Ah hell you can see my mind is elsewhere tonight.

hahaha, that was #ing hilarious. +5pts Agent47

hmmm i have had girlfriends but im not that confident either even though i have asked girls out with sime good results. but before school ended i wanted to ask a girl out but just couldnt.

Originally posted by Ashly
I think somethings wrong with me lol. Im fifteen and Ive never had a boyfriend. I've had a lot of guys ask me out, but I say no. Even if I like them I say no. I dont know why!!

A) Your going through puberty so your emotions are going to be flying all over the place, your hormone's are imbalanced so thats going to # you up too.

When your a teenager some people don't have any balls and some people have more then they should.
You however seem to be lacking in that department, and i know it's easy for me to say get some balls but it's a totally different scenario because it's you and your afraid of getting balls...

Fear of the unknown is what it boils down to....... You've never experienced a boyfriend before, your not sure what his reaction will be, your not sure how well you would handle the situation so your afraid to even dip your hand into the water so to speak, your not sure if it will be cold or hot...

Best thing to do in this scenario is to feel him out, you already have a pretty good idea he likes you... That is: GOOD....
Good stuff, so you've felt the water and it's fine... He likes you..

So now that you've figured out he likes you too, then the best thing for you to do is grab some tennis balls stick em in your pants... (Now you have balls)

walk over to him and say " look, I like you , your fun to hang around with, your funny, your smart, and I like those qualities so let's hang out! here's my number if you want to go work out together sometime or catch a flick..
We have fun together so let's do it outside of school....

You can paraphrase that if you like...

All i'm sayin girl is that if you kknow the water is warm, jump the # in already!

i think she wanted a normal non-geeky answer in english like would be given on a regular basis. besides girls dont have balls.

Your all missing the advice I gave.

Just put out.

Let your integrity and conscious go and your ass will follow.


In all seriousness though. Enjoy your youth.

Originally posted by Agent47
Your all missing the advice I gave.

Just put out.

Let your integrity and conscious go and your ass will follow.


In all seriousness though. Enjoy your youth.

LOL......... omgosh.. That's so funny....... Unfortuneately many girls believe that... It's not true I know.... But it's funny to hear you say that....
LOL!

Agent 47

With advice like that we should elect you head of Female Issues Concerning Morals and Ethics in the UN...

But in all seriousness, dont just put out coz you want to get guys, use what you have but dont betray your values, many people regret they did (i dont see why but apparantly people have this thing called morals that basicaly prevents them from having any fun...). But if you dont really care if you put out or not... go for it.

But overall you need to improve your self confidence. Coz without confidence you'll never find your true potential.

OK this is starting to sound like a 7th grade conversation at the popular girls lunch table. For real.

Oh! And putting out gets you nowhere. Why? The all-too famous saying, "You hit it and you quit it!"

You're love interest is not "special" or "really great" or "sensitive" or "different than other guys." He will screw you and lose you, hump you and dump you, whatever catchy version of "he's gonna have sex with you and never call you again" you like.

Its true. Don't question it. That way, you won't ever be surprised.

[Edited on 7-11-04 by Scat]

Sorry I havent replied in a while, my comps been messed up. Anyways, im going to bobs party on friday. ill get some guts or "balls" then. lol. at least i wont be in work clothes.

If you happen to get 'balls' by then make sure you hide them from him... its kinda a turn off

BEWARE THE OPPOSITE GENDER! BEWARE!!!!!!

Almost 100% of all highschool/juniorhigh relationships will end. More often than not with pain and bad feelings on both sides.

There is no reason that you HAVE to have a boyfriend, you have lived your entire life up until this point without one and you seem just fine to me.

Dont buy into the mass-hype that you have to be in a relationship. They are far too confusing and painful to be worth their trouble.

All your friends may have relationships, but watch them, when they end, there are tears and hate and bad feelings involved. Even if during it all they could talk about was "2GETHER 4EVER!!!".

Ive had this talk with EVERY SINGLE ONE of my friends when they get a new significant other, and it always turns out the same.. Me saying "Told ya so."

Be absolutely sure that YOU want to have a relationship, dont let yourself get pressured into it. Not by friends/television/parents/anyone.

But if you still want to have a relationship, I strongly suggest that you let it happen, and dont go looking for it. Significant others that start as friends always tend to be truer and more long term than those "OH MAH GAWD, HE LIKES ME, I LIKE HIM 2, TOGETHER FOREVER" puppy-dog/heat things.

Good luck regardless.

- Possibly the most cynical person ever.