I Blame The Office of Innovation and Improvement

Office of Insular Affairs

The Secretary of the Interior has administrative responsibility for coordinating federal policy in the territories of American Samoa, Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, and the responsibility to administer and oversee U.S. federal assistance provided to the Freely Associated States of the Federated States of Micronesia, the Republic of the Marshall Islands, and the Republic of Palau under the Compacts of Free Association. The Office of Insular Affairs executes these responsibilities on behalf of the Secretary.

Because island chains need handouts too.

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives

These products are better managed by convenience store owners.

Drug Enforcement Administration

These guys fail so hard at their job that the Mexican cartels recently awarded them the Legion of Merit.

Without the DEA, the Mexican cartels would lose a lot of business to legitimate producers.

Department of Justice

Since their job is to ensure justice is done, they might even beat out the DEA for worst fail of the year award.

DOJ Asset Forfeiture Program

These guys are a little too good at their jobs.

I have to mark them down as a win... at least if you look at it from the government's perspective.

Office of Diversion Control

LOL

Without them, we might be distracted.

Federal Bureau of Prisons

Definite win

We have more of them than anyone else, which makes us superior.

National Drug Intelligence Center

Because only smart people do drugs.

Office of Privacy and Civil Liberties

hmm... definite failboat.

If failing was a sport, these guys would make the playoffs every year.

Office of the United States Global AIDS Coordinator

Because the spread of AIDS needs to be coordinated.

Office of War Crimes Issues

These guys do a stupendous job keeping our leaders out of trouble.

Bureau of Verification, Compliance, and Implementation

Because without them, there wouldn't be anyone to verify compliance with the 70,000 pages of new legislation and regulations congress and its assorted bureaucracies create every year.

Bureau of the Public Debt

I would say more, but I think the title speaks for itself.

Financial Crimes Enforcement Network

Failboat

Center for Minority Veterans

Because being a minority veteran requires additional federal resources above and beyond just being a veteran.

African Development Foundation

LOL

These gentleman have proved that failing beyond the speed of light is possible.

This is the best thread on ATS atm

That's saying something

United States Institute of Peace

LOL

Grain Inspection, Packers and Stockyards Administration

Keeping us safe from the dangers of poorly packed goods and moldy grains.

Agricultural Marketing Service

Because Con Agra and Monsanto don't like to spend their own money on inspecting and marketing their goods.