reply to post by DAVID64
Paradoxically, some of the smaller handguns, such as J-Frames, have a lot more recoil than larger ones. Although I have a Glock 19 myself (which is OK
on recoil) I had the opportunity for fire a 1911 not long ago. Frankly I was scared of it. A .45 is about as powerful as you can get. But I was VERY
surprised that the recoil was nominal and well within my 'stress limit.' I also agree with the OP that grip is a crucial factor. If the grip is too
small, your pinky finger is going to dangle loose, so you'll only have two fingers and a thumb around the grip. If you can't control the gun,
there's going to be more recoil.
One more suggestion: Get a Ruger Mk III Hunter as a starter gun. It will get her used to the issue and as a .22 won't break the bank in ammo costs. I
wouldn't recommend it for self defense, but it's a great plinker.