the more knowledge i gain ,the more depressed i become ..

well the title says it correctly , it seems that the more knowledge i gain the more depressed i become .. i can remember when i was a was very blind to everything ,when i was in the matrix ,before i was awakened ,when i was part of the sheeple heard , what ever you want to call it i was not very hip to my surroundings i would always fallow the new trend i was your average unawakened American ...

but now ,i am depressed ,when i first unlocked my brain i was determined to learn as much as i could about any subject , and slowly the more i gained the more depressed i became , i am not saying that i am smarter then anyone els ,its just it seems that i am able to think out side the box ,and i allays draw my conclusions based on facts

Also , when i interact with a persons that have not made it to the level of thinking as i, i feel bad for that particular person ,and now its to the point where i feel like sometimes i wish i was still un-awakened,cause it seems that the people who have not the understandings that i have are very happy in life , and i can remember being just that way ,i only worried about what i was going to wear ,does my hair look ok , how much is my paycheck this week, does this girl digg me , whats going on in hollywood , i want to be a rock star ,that type of stuff

people say congrats to me for being awakened ,but honestly i think i am at a point where i sometimes wish i was not ,

i used to be a very spiritual person ,before i was unlocked ,but now that i am i feel like my soul has faded away slowly , cause now i question everything , i understand now the meaning of the Adam and eve and why god was so upset when they took a bite out of the apple ,

anyway i hope this all makes some kind of sens ,but if their is anyone els out their who has experienced the same thing please if you could counsel me a bit on this subject and if you could pass on to me any type of understanding that would help my situation i would be very thankful

thank you so very much for your time

Love Nephi

In all honesty I d not think you are experiencing an uncommon emotion here. I have often read that being "Smart" in the traditional sens eof intelelct often is a common symptom in depression. I can't imagine being "enlightened" or more awar of the worls around you is any different. Ignore is Bliss became a cliche for a reason I guess.

reply to post by illuminotreal


ya i understand that , but i wonder if their is a way to get over this ,the only thing that i an think of would be some type of spritul enlightenment , its a very thought trail that i am on ,a constant battle ,but i guess if their is any good in this story ,its the fact that i understand love is key

Sad to say but ignorance is truly bliss.

One trap people regularly fall into (myself included) is focusing more on the negative. There are plenty of good people doing good things out there, but the fact is news of this doesn't sell. A lot of the negative news you hear has been exaggerated. A lot of the negative ideas you hear are based on misinformation and propaganda. A lot of the stuff you read on boards like this is theory or people letting off steam.

Some of the news is either so bad, or the lies so outrageous, its hard not to react to it in some way. Its hard not to let all this bad stuff get you down but take a break from it at times. Try not to let the evil scum at the top of the pyramid ruin any more of your life. They have already ruined billions of people's lives so they can remain there.

It is up to you to use the knowledge to carve your path in life, and help to make the bigger picture better.

You can sit on your A$$ and moan about what you realise the world to be,

Or you can get off your A$$ and do something about it.

It's crunch time my friend.

The worst kind are those that realise what's going wrong but cannot be bothered to do anything to help.

Originally posted by Nephi1337
well the title says it correctly , it seems that the more knowledge i gain the more depressed i become .. i can remember when i was a was very blind to everything ,when i was in the matrix ,before i was awakened ,when i was part of the sheeple heard , what ever you want to call it i was not very hip to my surroundings i would always fallow the new trend i was your average unawakened American ...

but now ,i am depressed ,when i first unlocked my brain i was determined to learn as much as i could about any subject , and slowly the more i gained the more depressed i became , i am not saying that i am smarter then anyone els ,its just it seems that i am able to think out side the box ,and i allays draw my conclusions based on facts

Also , when i interact with a persons that have not made it to the level of thinking as i, i feel bad for that particular person ,and now its to the point where i feel like sometimes i wish i was still un-awakened,cause it seems that the people who have not the understandings that i have are very happy in life , and i can remember being just that way ,i only worried about what i was going to wear ,does my hair look ok , how much is my paycheck this week, does this girl digg me , whats going on in hollywood , i want to be a rock star ,that type of stuff

people say congrats to me for being awakened ,but honestly i think i am at a point where i sometimes wish i was not ,

i used to be a very spiritual person ,before i was unlocked ,but now that i am i feel like my soul has faded away slowly , cause now i question everything , i understand now the meaning of the Adam and eve and why god was so upset when they took a bite out of the apple ,

anyway i hope this all makes some kind of sens ,but if their is anyone els out their who has experienced the same thing please if you could counsel me a bit on this subject and if you could pass on to me any type of understanding that would help my situation i would be very thankful

thank you so very much for your time

Love Nephi

edit on 29-10-2010 by Nephi1337 because: (no reason given)

edit on 29-10-2010 by Nephi1337 because: (no reason given)

Dude you sound like Cipher in the Matrix before he rats out Neo; " ignorance is bliss". Deny ignorance not truth but you will encounter and experience pain before you are fully out of the Matrix. With every step you should withdraw from all contact and allow yourself to put everything in perspective. Yes you will feel a lot of pain as you become more like you and less like them. They will notice it and shut themselves off to you in order to not see the truth in you expose the frailty of the reason for being.

They will turn on you so it is best for you to make scarce. Do not attempt to explain your new path because what you say will be taken offense to and make relationships worse. This feeling of "pity" you have for people you feel know less than you is a trap and you best not to spring it or suffer at your own risk. Remember if not for the ignorant how could you gauge you intelligence? We all have a part to play and the greatest knowledge is knowldge of nothing; ZAT or perfect balance. Everything began from this point and will end at this point.

The depression will get worse so I suggest you withdraw from as much a contact with other people for at least a week and think until their is nothing left for you to ponder. You will need to create new structure and new rituals for yourself. Start by yourself and you will find "others" such as yourself and the world will cease to seem so vast. Youll be all right.

Just remember...all the "knowledge" you have gained is no more true than the old "knowledge" you had as a "sheeple". You have been awakened only to a new world of "information"...don't mistake that to being awakened to a new world of "truth".

And remember also that you are still a "sheeple", you are just running with a different herd.


Believe you know nothing, and things will clear up.

Expression cures depression.

Love and knowledge will cure you.

Knowledge standing alone probably stings a bit.

i know what you mean i feel the same

it adds a lot more stress to what used to

be a blisfully ignorant mind but i think i would rather know

Originally posted by EnactedEgoTrip
One trap people regularly fall into (myself included) is focusing more on the negative. There are plenty of good people doing good things out there, but the fact is news of this doesn't sell. A lot of the negative news you hear has been exaggerated. A lot of the negative ideas you hear are based on misinformation and propaganda. A lot of the stuff you read on boards like this is theory or people letting off steam.

Some of the news is either so bad, or the lies so outrageous, its hard not to react to it in some way. Its hard not to let all this bad stuff get you down but take a break from it at times. Try not to let the evil scum at the top of the pyramid ruin any more of your life. They have already ruined billions of people's lives so they can remain there.

You said it so right and better. Knowledge is power. With that power in your hands, to do right or wrong, hut it will be your heart and mind to reach out to others. Many will still refuse to be awakened, for fantasies are often a better life to live, and they will always keep procastinating with truth, for truth needs action - the action to correct mistakes made.

If the wheel aint broken, dont fix it is the rule of the thumb. Unfortunately, it is another deception. The wheel don't need to be broken to end your journey. A worn out wheel will do the job. Why wait till the wheel is worn out and then seek for help in the middle of your journey? Nothing last, least of all material objects in this physical 5 senses world..

Analysis and anticipation is the hallmark of preparedness. Check that wheel regulary and you will never get into a sticky situation. And that wheel is your moral compass, taught since your formative years in interaction with others of diverse backgrounds, and in the adult world of hustling a few bucks to survive, of experiences learnt, of not being taken advantage of by others and not taking advantage of others..

Depression limits, but logical analysis will be your guide to what you must do, for your loved ones - your family, your relatives and friends - which makes up our society with common aspirations regardless of whatever backgrounds.

Within you lays courage that you may not know in existance to help and protect them. No one is born out of a rock.To be apathetic blinded by depression like some of them is only to doom them. Lies, deceptions and fantasies can never last.....an awakening will and have to eventually come....Either you do something now or the suffering blow will come later, which is far more painful than any being can help alleviate...

Good luck on your choice of free will.

reply to post by Nephi1337


What you lack then is hope. You should research something that you could place your trust into that will provide a means of emotional comfort. Like the story Shawshank Redemption, you can get busy living or get busy dying, depending on what your hope rests upon.

reply to post by Nephi1337

Also , when i interact with a persons that have not made it to the level of thinking as i, i feel bad for that particular person ,and now its to the point where i feel like sometimes i wish i was still un-awakened,cause it seems that the people who have not the understandings that i have are very happy in life , and i can remember being just that way ,i only worried about what i was going to wear ,does my hair look ok , how much is my paycheck this week, does this girl digg me , whats going on in hollywood , i want to be a rock star ,that type of stuff

Nephil33, I can relate to everything in your OP. You don't know how many times I've wanted to start a thread just like this one. The thing about it is, once you cross that line, there's no turning back. The only encouraging thing I do see around me, though, is that more people are receptive to the information we already know. It's just a matter of time, but I believe there will be a huge awakening. In fact, I think it's upon us now. I don't have the answers, all I can say is keep spreading the word . . . never give up...and know that you're not alone. I send my love to you.

oops, double post.

Some good advice being given here! I found it really hard to take anyones advice/sympathy when I was depressed so I'd say the fact that you are asking for help is a sign that you're ready to drag yourself out of it!

You may find yourself 'waking up' over and over again as you realise that the 'good' guys are everywhere, even if they don't know all the details about conspiracy theories!

An important stage for me was realising that just as the world was not what it could/should be, neither was I. If 'could have tried harder' was always on your report cards then why not give it a go? Put conspiracy theories to one side and sort yourself out. You probably know enough by now to know that you don't really know that much and will likely never know it all so why keep digging? Be happy that the old ignorant you has died and get on with life, fully aware of the turds at the top and not giving a crap! How much do they really effect you anyway? Once you are happier within yourself then you can get back on with putting the world to rights!

I agree that love is the key and would advise you to explore that idea thoroughly! You might like to hear a guy called Osho who has some vids on youtube and some books. I'm reading one atm called courage and it's great if a bit repetative. He manages to avoid most of the fear vs love cliches and doesn't go too deep into anything.

In other words, Cheer up Goth!

Edit -

Just to add to the idea of a 'huge awakening' the poster before me mentioned...

I beleive depression is one of the first stages and so long as you manage not to give in to those thoughts then you should have an interesting journey ahead of you! A lot of my friends are suffering from depression at the moment...

Don't ask me what the other stages are, that's up to you really but I like to think big!

reply to post by Nephi1337


my suggestion is you should start DOING something with the information you gain. By reading stuff and just sitting around you will become depressed. Get up and do something about what depresses you, you'll feel better.

reply to post by Nephi1337


I agree with the replies of Red_xi and Outkast Searcher.... great opinions!

Nephi, your OP sounds exactly like the situation I recently crawled out of. Your words could've been my own a few short months ago. I even considered making a similar thread to vent about it.

For me it started when I learned that many of my preconceived ideas and beliefs were lies. The more I discovered about the tamperings and corruption of history and religion, the more I lost inner peace. The more I researched about those powerful, elite plotters... the more I lost hope for a better world.

Let me share with you an idea that changed this situation for me. I realized that The Powers That Be are too strong, too hidden, too protected, and have been plotting for too long. Realistically, what can I do? I don't even know who The Powers That Be are! Sure we can name names and groups, but I believe with some certainty that the truly, most powerful people and groups are not even known of. We can boycott, protest, write letters to government officials, become activists, we can even riot in the streets or go the path of Joe Stack and John Bedell... but realistically, what will that change? Honestly... what difference will it make to circles more elite than Bilderberg, more powerful than BIS's (Bank for International Settlements) Board of Directors?

So I realized everything that I learn and discover is only information. Information is a thing. The information isn't as important as how you chose to implement it in your life. You can collect stamps all your life, but what practical good are the stamps if you just collect a vast amount and just put them away in some box? Same with information... gather it up, but it only is of benefit when implemented and utilized.

You can't fight the Powers That Be. Seriously. You can't hurt them. You can only hurt yourself. You must look into yourself and change your personal perception of existence. Is the glass half full or half empty? It will eternally be both, the only thing that can change is your perception. If you feel untrusting of religion, try Philosophy. Try looking at the Bible and religion as Philosophical, not as a standard for belief. Fear, Anger, Worry.... these are the enemies of Peace. Let go of regret and pain from your past. Let go of worry, fear, and uncertainty of the future. Live in the moment and change yourself, your life, your existence, and manifest your reality. Cultivate positivity with your family, your friends, co-workers, class-mates, and anyone you encounter.

I know I wrote a lot, but this issue is dear to me, because I was there. I wish you nothing but the best Nephi. May Peace be upon you.

The thing I see here is that you've only dipped your toes into the pool of enlightenment. Keep at it though. But stop looking outside yourself for knowledge. Stop looking for/at "facts". We know nothing, and if you think you do, you *really* don't.

Do you understand that all things are equal? That there is nothing but perspective to change any situation? There is no good or bad. There is no anything. There is only perspective. If you want to find happiness, change your perspective one situation at a time. You're making progress to finding out who you are and what your values truly are and this is why you experience this morbid frustration with the way of things, but it's only a phase in your growth. Have patience and be gentle with yourself. The world is a reflection of you. Your frustration is with yourself. See past the illusions of who you think you are and see who you really are. You will feel better in no time, but it's going to hurt until then.

reply to post by Nephi1337


The stuff that is being discussed here is how the NWO bunch aka illuminati aka high level masons aka ex-high priests of Israel aka originally the alien species known as the Jue-sah (which we humans mispronounce as Jews) really wants you to think and feel as you awaken from the illusionary 'reality' they prefer you stay in---easily manipulated and easily controlled and NO threat to them.

See, what they for sure don't want you to know is that you have a LOT Of power, even individually, when you manifest what you want to see happen. If all of us (even if just those of us who are awakened) were to focus our will, our intention towards creating our own version of a happy better world full of whatever it is we think would be best for us, it would most certainly interfere greatly with the overall 'reality' they are trying to manifest aka doom and gloom and that they are all powerful and all that other negative crap.

THEY know how powerful the will is, and they so want us to forget or never realize that. Also if you awaken, you become more of a target for their spirit level attacks, the influence of which shows up as 'oh geez! I wish I never found out!' thinking. So rather than leaving yourself a sitting duck, think of yourself surrounded in white light and safety on all levels as well as all your loved ones and things you value. Also, ask whatever higher power you ascribe to for additional protection. It never hurts!

And know you are safe. Because if you know you are, you will be. Manifesting is something you can and should do, and other than personal growth work, really all you need to do. Yah, the growth work is hard, but not impossible. And it doesn't take saving the world or overcoming the current regime or some other impossible thing either; it just takes manifesting yourself safe and reaching out spiritually to all the others around you who are doing the same thing... it creates like a spirit safety net. I think that is why that really bad earthquake here in the Seattle area about 10 or so years ago didn't do any harm. This area is full of people who are manifesting safety.

Also, I think it is important to realize that the coming tragedies aren't going to be that bad if you aren't an ex-jue-sah. The 'tribulation' is strictly for the Jews; it is after all their book, not ours. Just keep yourself out of the way aka don't hang with the uber rich or in Israel where some of that leadership is hiding.

The E-l*th (aka elves aka 'archangels and heavenly host') are going to be digging them out of where ever they are hiding and kicking them off the planet by sending them back to the beginning of their time here. That's gonna get a bit messy because the Jue-sah are going to be using all those super weapons you hear about being developed.

Those were never meant to be used on humans; they know how powerful the Elves are and are trying to protect themselves. The Elves are coming back in 2012 because the Jue-sah will have failed to meet the conditions of the contract they had with the human racial unconscious which ends in 2012. And once we humans start making enlightenment, we can help the elves! )

So, Bad news: you are still being lied to and psychically influenced by the NWO spun version of things, even if you are awake. Good news: you can stop it once you realize it. My advice: Clear out the fear, surround yourself with white light and seek out your small inner voice and ask IT for the truth. Mine laughs and says "the NWO bunch only wishes..."

You need to realize that it is futile to worry about stuff where you can't do anything about.
Accept the world is a screwed up place. Change starts from within. With what you know you should adjust your life into what you think is the right thing to do. Focus on positive stuff instead of only reading doom and gloom info.

Remember... There are more good people then there are bad people around