Your views on polygamy

I would like to get views on polygamy from other members. I would like to come out that I believe in and support polygamy. My views are that a man should be able have more then one wife. Of course I'm a young man and I am sexually attractive to women my age. But I'm not going to want to become a polygamist to sexually control women. I would have to have a large family and I can only achieve this by being in a polygamist relationship. I cannot make one woman bear the entire load of child birth; neither have my children out of my life with different parents. So I have come to a conclusion that I would love to have more then one spouse.
Here's a great list I found that explains why I support polygamy.
blog.happypolywives.com....

Remember Love not force!!

I just don't see how you can remove jealousy from the equation... It's just in our nature. I do know of a few threesome relationships, but in each one, there's kind of a "primary" spouse, and then the "other"... I guess they are cool with it, but I have a hard time believing the "other" is truly satisfied with the status quo...

Asking for trouble if you ask me...although I suppose if involved in a religion that more openly supports the practice, you've got a better chance of all being happy with the arrangement.

Originally posted by Gazrok
I just don't see how you can remove jealousy from the equation... It's just in our nature. I do know of a few threesome relationships, but in each one, there's kind of a "primary" spouse, and then the "other"... I guess they are cool with it, but I have a hard time believing the "other" is truly satisfied with the status quo...

Asking for trouble if you ask me...although I suppose if involved in a religion that more openly supports the practice, you've got a better chance of all being happy with the arrangement.

I tend to agree with your point about jealousy, I have run some rather erm "interesting" clubs though and have met lot's of people who just don't seem to have that aspect to their relationships.
A lot of porn stars for example are happily married (and a lot of them aren't) and I have met loads and loads of couples who have been swingers and who just don't get jealous of each other in the same way.

It's not for me though

There's a difference though too, between an occasional threesome with someone you won't see often, versus someone in your life every day...

My wife has played both sides of the field, so to speak, and it isn't off the table with her to have another gal join in for a wild night maybe...but we could never do with a good friend we'd see often...for example....

I support the right of any of the group marriages - - as long as it involves Consenting Adults.

As far as polygamy - - I can only see it working if the women are in charge.

I can't see it being successful - unless the women make the rules - and make the final decision for any new wife.

Honestly I don't think sex is the controlling factor it used to be.

In my daughter's world (she's 37) - - where many know each other from high school - - there doesn't seem to be that stigma of - - who had sex with whom.

The only factor seems to be if you are in a committed relationship. And then its respect for what is decided in that relationship.

Multiple spouses?

My first notion is to say "yuuuck". But in many cultures it's the norm. So what do I know?

As long as it's consenting adults? Why not.

I'd have to agree with the idea that consent should be the major, overriding factor.

Interesting topic that I've never really said or thought about in great detail honestly. Who's to say what's right or wrong? Just because it's status quo one way or the other doesn't make it acceptable or not in my mind. Maybe we all were meant to live that way, who knows? If all participating parties consent to it I fail to see the problem. As far as jealousy goes I think that the accepted norm has caused people to feel it. I say this as someone who doesn't know anyone in a polygamous relationship and would personally feel strange in such a relationship, as good as parts of it sound. I'm more of a traditionalist but am open minded enough to accept it and be happy for others in such a situation as long as it's consensual and accepted among those involved. I'm not better than anyone else to decide such an option.

Its certainly not my cup of tea but providing it is between consenting adults I don't have a problem with Polygamy .

Cheers xpert11 .

Polygamy in my view is disgusting.

Real love- is only between 2 people.
End of the story.
If someone cannot commit to only one person- then don't commit at all and carry on with a single lifestyle-. Then you can have all the men/women you want. And that is fine- if you are happy like that.

I don't belive in marriage- "papers"- but I do belive in commitment of the heart and soul to only ONE person.

So I totally don't understand women who would accept their husband having more "wives"- ?¿?¿? - damn- they must have some really low self-esteem. Its kind of sad. hah
And it applies to men as well- Polyandry.
Ew.

So yeas, Polygamy- not approved in my book.

-edited-spelling


[edit on 2/9/10 by plutoxgirl]

I don't see any real difference between polyamourous relationships and people who serially marry and divorce.

On the flip side, I personally couldn't imagine having multiple wives nag me to take out the garbage. I have one lovely wife who does that quite well.

My argument against polygamy?

Exponential alimony.

[edit on 9/2/10 by Hefficide]

reply to post by plutoxgirl

If you haven't already, you can read my views on this a few posts above. I'm curious how you determined that "real love is only between 2 people". I presume it's a combination of personal feelings because of what you've learned, seen and accepted. How did you form these views and that it's proper to only commit to one person? Your non belief of marriage papers only intrigues me more. My curiosity often gets the better part of me.

Personally I just don't see it working and being fulfilling. There are too many feelings involved with the whole situation. Those pornstars and other people that seem to be able to do it with no real problem do not seem fit as a viable example to model after as sex is purely a commodity to them there is no significance attached to it, its just sex for the sake of sex. And I am sorry there is a big difference in just having sex and making love to someone you care deeply about. When you can give your wife an orgasm just by licking the bridge of her nose it tells you just how important to her and how deep her love for you is.

A polygamist relationship I just don't ever see fostering a a relationship that intense. Too many thoughts of is this what they do when im not around or does she feel this way too, am i special to him does he really love me or is this all for his ego? how could those questions and doubts ever not come up?

It seems to me that polygamy purely comes from a place of utter selfishness. We no longer are required to spread as much seed as possible to perpetuate our race. In fact, if everyone was like the OP and wanted as many children as possible, our population would become critical in no time (as if it already isn't).

Selfish selfish selfish. And I don't think its possible to fully love and care for more than one person. If you believe in polygamy, I highly doubt you've ever really experienced true love.

Originally posted by SantaClaus
It seems to me that polygamy purely comes from a place of utter selfishness. We no longer are required to spread as much seed as possible to perpetuate our race. In fact, if everyone was like the OP and wanted as many children as possible, our population would become critical in no time (as if it already isn't).

Selfish selfish selfish. And I don't think its possible to fully love and care for more than one person. If you believe in polygamy, I highly doubt you've ever really experienced true love.

Well I can tell I experienced "true" love before. I can tell people have different interpretations on life and a lot of times they make sense. haha. Everyone is different and no one is perfect.
blogs.myspace.com...

blogs.myspace.com...
Here's a list on why I agree with polygamy.

Originally posted by SantaClaus

Selfish selfish selfish. And I don't think its possible to fully love and care for more than one person. If you believe in polygamy, I highly doubt you've ever really experienced true love.

Having a child at all - by anyone is selfish.

Now - why are we to assume just because you are in a group marriage - - you'll be popping out the little ones?

The good news might be that one wife likes to stay home and take care of the kiddies. Maybe another wife likes to cook. Maybe another wife likes to clean.

The possibilities are endless to having the perfect combination.

reply to post by Romantic_Rebel


It just seems that all your reasons seem to deal with having to control one's inability to be responsible. Like being unfaithful, not handling your share of the relationship, or even just being a jerk to begin with.

I think if you're a stable, responsible person, none of those reasons really apply to you. Nothing is going to fix being a cheater or a jerk. If you can't love one woman correctly, how could you love multiple and get away with it?

I'm not knocking you personally, I just think it seems like a very cold, selfish ideology. It seems very archaic to me, where the man is typically the central figure. I certainly don't want to share my lover with anyone, so why should I expect her be okay with it?

I would have a lot of questions for a woman who would be okay with being in a relationship like that.

It all comes down to self-worth though, I suppose. If they're all consenting adults, more power to them. Its just not something I could get behind or (admittedly) even understand.

Personally - I feel Polygamy and/or Polyamory and/or Polyandry - - - are a far more natural way of being then monogamy.

Just because we were raised that it is wrong and you can only love one person - - does not make it so.

Obviously people can Love more then one person - - as testament to our increasing divorce rate.

I think understanding jealousy is a Possession emotion - - gives a different perspective. Do you really feel one person has the right to possess another?

Of course like everything else - - Respect and Rules are needed.

In Polygamy the women should have the power - and in Polyandry the men should have the power in how the home is run. That prevents the single person from playing one wife or one husband against each other.