posted on Apr, 8 2010 @ 01:02 AM
reply to post by MConnalley
That's an interesting perspective. A lot of people would rather not change their mind and will use the defense of attacking the other person as
arrogant rather than admit their own mistake. That it was an old friend of yours would explain why you didn't lose sleep over it, thinking that your
friend would see that your intentions were not malicious.
At some point you have to just accept that the other person does not want to change their mind, or is just not ready to. I've met this situation
before, and the OP's list certainly is relevant. You can't change someone's mind, all you can do is provide them the information and allow them to
come to their own conclusion.
Which reminds me, I'd like to respond to the suggestion that perhaps the answer is that we should stop offending people:
You cannot offend someone. You can only choose to BE offended. It is a choice made by each person not something forced upon them. For example:
A friend tells me that I am fat. Yet I am quite underweight and always have been. It is a ludicrous suggestion and does not come close to being
That same person tells someone else that they are fat; same words but if the other person is actually overweight then that person might be offended by
those words because it hurts their feelings.
What is the determining factor in whether or not someone is offended? I propose that it is whether or not it is causes a negative SELF reflection,
whether true or not and thus in defense the person changes that into an attack on the other person. You are never offended by suggestions that you do
not fear may be true, is I guess what I'm trying to say.
(And this isn't to excuse rude behavior, there is such a thing as tact.)
That people are so easily offended these days really shows how insecure we have become in our own selves. And to bring this back to the thread,
perhaps another symptom of this is the errors described by the OP in our overzealousness to win in meaningless social situations.
Thanks for the thread.
[edit on 8-4-2010 by The Broadcaste]